Fell off the wagon

Ok I did not want to turn this into a debate about AA, It didn't work for me. It does not work for everyone.
I am not a defeatest, I just know what won't work for me, and what will. AA does not, and never will. One day at a time is one catch phrase I like, because it is so true. I had one bad day, drank myself stupid. I am now sick, tired, still wanting to throw up nothing in my stomach yet hungry. I think my brain may explode at any minute. This is enough to remind me why I quit drinking.

I don't see a defeatist attitude, I see someone in desperate pain.

One day at a time is a GREAT attitude, because it enables you to put one day of falling off the wagon behind you and start fresh.

When overcoming any addiction, any disease, we all take our steps back along the way. It happens. The most important thing is to forgive yourself and not get stuck there.

There are many people that love you and are rooting for you, and you stopped drinking before and you CAN do it again! I think it is painfully obvious now it didn't help change anything.

You're very brave to admit what happened, and reaching out to us like this means you really want to start fresh.

So here are lots of hugs and lots of vibes for strength to see you through today without the vodka. Please take Chris's advice and pour it down the drain. The pain and hurt and defeat you save is FAR more worth it than the money.

Originally Posted by jcat

What is going to happen to your cat with the cute belly when you drink yourself to death? Don't you have a responsibility to her?

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That's my concern, because i had a neighbour who drank herself unconcious if nothing went right for her. She had a Golden Retriever (Poppy), and thankfully i had a key to her house because i had to go in to feed and walk her because she obviously wasn't doing it.

I went in one afternoon to feed Poppy and to check on my neighbour and she was spark out on top of the bed soaking in her own urine.

Like you, my old neighbour had a place she could go for help, but as her Doctor said to me one day "She has to want to help herself as well!"

I'll keep you in my thoughts. You will not quit until you are truly ready. I tried to quit smoking many times and it wasn't until I couldn't breathe and needed to be hospitalized for 9 days that I finally quit. Unfortunately the damage is done to my lungs and I have COPD. Some days are more difficult to breathe than others, but hey, I'm alive and healthy in all other respects. I have a loving family and many wonderful friends for support. I am blessed and I'll hope and pray that you will reach a point where you can find a way to beat your disease as well and that it happens before you do too much irreparable damage. You are the only one who can do it as I believe you already know. I hope you find the strength you need to fight it.

I am thinking of you.

I did some looking and came across these sites:

http://womenforsobriety.org/

http://www.smartrecovery.org/

http://www.sosdallas.org/aa-sos.htm - SOS is for people who do not want use a higher power.

You are in my thoughts.

Originally Posted by LDG

I don't see a defeatist attitude, I see someone in desperate pain.

One day at a time is a GREAT attitude, because it enables you to put one day of falling off the wagon behind you and start fresh.

When overcoming any addiction, any disease, we all take our steps back along the way. It happens. The most important thing is to forgive yourself and not get stuck there.

There are many people that love you and are rooting for you, and you stopped drinking before and you CAN do it again! I think it is painfully obvious now it didn't help change anything.

You're very brave to admit what happened, and reaching out to us like this means you really want to start fresh.

So here are lots of hugs and lots of vibes for strength to see you through today without the vodka. Please take Chris's advice and pour it down the drain. The pain and hurt and defeat you save is FAR more worth it than the money.

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Thank you so much.
The whole bottle of vodka was drank, nothing to pour down. Wow those are tough words to type while sick to your stomach.
I wanted to tell you all because this is a safe place to me. I quit drinking and it was all sunshine and roses, then reality hit me hard in the face. I will get told what for here, and that is OK, I need to hear it it. But it was just one day, out of a lifetime of days, and I cannot go back, my body won't let me.
My pulse is at resting 110, (normal is below 100) and my BP is 150 /98 (normal, 120 /80) and my heart is skipping beats, every three beats it skips.
I will die if I do this again.
Now before you all rush me off to the ER or rehab (for one a one day mistake), I am OK. Sitting up and typing, I am OK. Keeping a close look at my vitals, if anything goes higher, I will go to the ER

I hope you seek help... if not AA. help... just help... I know you say you can do it alone, but I keep watching and hearing about you falling back again, and again... This is not the first time and it will not be the last. So, reality is, have you really quit drinking? Come on Laura... Think deep in your heart, how much longer do you want to go on like this? Because that is what is going to happen.
For as long as you are doing this alone, as long you are going to fall back. You know why? Because it has bee like this your whole life, because you are addicted, because addiction is no joke, is a serious disease.
It might be a cliche, BUT, It is said that if you want to change the results ,you need to change the way you do things. Keep doing the same things, you keep getting the same results. That is what you are doing Laura.
It doesn't matter how many people are telling you here you can do it, be strong, and being your cheerleader... The bottom line is that you need to look back at your life and really dig deep to see if you really think that you can do it. Because you have been doing the same thing all your life and it hasn't worked. I am sooooo sorry to say this to you, but PLEASE, please stop going through the easiest path and grab your life on your hands and accept help to change it once and for all... Go to a doctor... Seek Professional help, ask about a detox, but do something real.
Many vibes going your way, my thoughts and prayers are with you

Originally Posted by carolinalima

Go to a doctor... Seek Professional help, ask about a detox, but do something real.

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Christmas time for alcoholics is worse as well, so you really should see a Doctor to set something up for you

Next time you feel like going to buy some booze, find something to take your mind off of whatever is troubling you. Play with your kitty, read a book, watch tv, etc. Keep yourself occupied.

I know you can get through this, and we're all here for you if you need us.

Originally Posted by Trillcat

Ok I did not want to turn this into a debate about AA, It didn't work for me. It does not work for everyone.
I am not a defeatest, I just know what won't work for me, and what will. AA does not, and never will. One day at a time is one catch phrase I like, because it is so true. I had one bad day, drank myself stupid. I am now sick, tired, still wanting to throw up nothing in my stomach yet hungry. I think my brain may explode at any minute. This is enough to remind me why I quit drinking.

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What a load of. This is something you cannot do on your own. AA didn't didn't work, then commit yourself.

Only when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, will you
CHOOSE TO BE SOBER and responsible to only your self.

You just want justification here for what you are doing. Your pet can be your higher power if you so choose. AA has no religious ties.

I will pray for you as I do for all still suffering alcoholics. But I will not mollycoddle you.

I am not asking to be codlled. I am not asking for anything, I just came here for people to learn what this is all about. I am not a "people " person, I dont like to sit and talk about my feelings, been there and done that and hated it, it did not help me, Why does everyone seem to think that there is only one way out?
I fell, big time, but that does not mean I am fallen. I screwed up, but that does not mean I will again.
You guys want me in a detox program because I had one day of drinking?
Think about that. Would you commit an overweight person to a hospital because they ate a gallon of ice cream on a bad day? Equal health risks.
Lightning, I hear what you say, but I choose my path, I do not seek justification for it. You are AA, I can spot ya all a mile away. We didn't work, you must be so sick you need to be in hospital. Bull **** ! They do have religious ties, anyone who has been there knows that. They close meetings with the Lord's prayer holding hands in a circle! Do you know how much fun it is to stand outside that circle because you do not believe as they do? I will not put myself through that again.
Sorry about the rant, this just makes me mad.

Huge hugs hun, its fine for everyone to say stop drinking but I know it isn't that easy and these AA meetings don't sound very helpful, ok I might sound bad but not everyone can be "cured" by God and the real issue is alcohol not religion.Everyone has different beliefs. You had one bad day and you know what can happen to you if you continue drinking without everyone telling you. Yes ultimately it is up to you and I hope you can be strong and beat this addiction. I for one am here for you, for your good times, bad, rants, whatever you want to do hun. Is there any otherprogrammes available, if its anything like over here the waiting list for most of them is horrendous and some doctors don't give a stuff.Take care. xx

Originally Posted by Trillcat

I am not asking to be codlled. I am not asking for anything, I just came here for people to learn what this is all about. I am not a "people " person, I dont like to sit and talk about my feelings, been there and done that and hated it, it did not help me, Why does everyone seem to think that there is only one way out?
I fell, big time, but that does not mean I am fallen. I screwed up, but that does not mean I will again.
You guys want me in a detox program because I had one day of drinking?
Think about that. Would you commit an overweight person to a hospital because they ate a gallon of ice cream on a bad day? Equal health risks.
Lightning, I hear what you say, but I choose my path, I do not seek justification for it. You are AA, I can spot ya all a mile away. We didn't work, you must be so sick you need to be in hospital. Bull **** ! They do have religious ties, anyone who has been there knows that. They close meetings with the Lord's prayer holding hands in a circle! Do you know how much fun it is to stand outside that circle because you do not believe as they do? I will not put myself through that again.
Sorry about the rant, this just makes me mad.

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I know what you mean. I was raised as a Christian but I have long since stopped believing. I know that all the rehab places tell you to believe in a God or some sort of higher power, but I think that only helps if you already believe. Otherwise, you have to take control and work through it.

Originally Posted by LIGHTNING

What a load of. This is something you cannot do on your own. AA didn't didn't work, then commit yourself.

Only when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, will you
CHOOSE TO BE SOBER and responsible to only your self.

You just want justification here for what you are doing. Your pet can be your higher power if you so choose. AA has no religious ties.

I will pray for you as I do for all still suffering alcoholics. But I will not mollycoddle you.

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Wow, that's harsh. I'm glad you found a way that works for you, but AA does ask you to give it up to a higher power. You don't have to choose between AA and being "committed." There are many alternatives.

Originally Posted by LIGHTNING

What a load of. This is something you cannot do on your own. AA didn't didn't work, then commit yourself.

Only when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, will you
CHOOSE TO BE SOBER and responsible to only your self.

You just want justification here for what you are doing. Your pet can be your higher power if you so choose. AA has no religious ties.

I will pray for you as I do for all still suffering alcoholics. But I will not mollycoddle you.

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Wow! Just wow....that's all I can say about that and shake my head!
Trillcat, it sounds like you had a bad day. Everyone has them and you realize that. Doesn't sound to me like you've given up at all. You're just annoyed at yourself right now. Get back on track...YOUR WAY! You know what works the best for you.

Hon, everyone has bad days and no matter what anyone says everyone takes a step back occassionally. How many people here have cheated on their diet? Yes, I know, this is a little bit more serious than trying to lose 5 pounds. Or, how many diabetics just really wanted that hot fudge ice cream sundae? People are human....YOU are human. It sounds like you slipped. That's all. And you paid the consequence with a hangover from hell. Recover, pick yourself up, and start again from today. You're right, you can't change what you did but you can start again, and that is what is important.

Have you ever considered joining a group therapy program? They have them for all different reasons. It is a lot like AA in that you will be with others suffering through alcoholism, but it is with a trained therapist and so doesnt follow the steps. More so, you get together, discuss your thoughts, feelings, problems, goals, and connect to others who understand. I know many do not like the thought of therapy but a psychologist is not a Dr and therefore can not push pills. They are trained to understand the mind and problems of the mind and also problems with addiction. You could do solo or group to find the support you need. For therapy i would recoment a psychologist rather than psychiatrist (DR) because they wont give meds thus substituting one additction for another.

I wish you the best of luck during this most difficult time. Don't give up on yourself. If you take God out of the AA program the most important message it passes along is ONE DAY AT A TIME. that is all you can expect of yourself. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Also: If you do not like the idea of face to face interaction (i cant blame you there) have you searched for any online support groups? They have entire forums just like this one, only for addictions rather than cats. I am not going to tell you that you can not do it alone, because i dont believe that is true...however i believe having even ONE person to reach out to when you feel your grip slipping, one person who can remind you what you are fighting for...it might make all of the differance in your life. I have made true connections to friends i have met online...An online group might be just the thing for you.

Binge drinking, or any alcohol at all, for an alcoholic in recovery is not a "bad day". It puts the person right back to the beginning. It's not the same as binging on chocolate one day, while on a diet. It's not the same as (though closer to) smoking one cigarette after quitting.

Alcoholism is a very serious disease. No matter how many years in recovery, one drink is all it takes to put you back to square one. It's not just a "bad day".

I've never met an alcoholic in recovery who did not need help to get where s/he is today.

Originally Posted by Trillcat

Thank you so much.
The whole bottle of vodka was drank, nothing to pour down. Wow those are tough words to type while sick to your stomach.
I wanted to tell you all because this is a safe place to me. I quit drinking and it was all sunshine and roses, then reality hit me hard in the face. I will get told what for here, and that is OK, I need to hear it it. But it was just one day, out of a lifetime of days, and I cannot go back, my body won't let me.
My pulse is at resting 110, (normal is below 100) and my BP is 150 /98 (normal, 120 /80) and my heart is skipping beats, every three beats it skips.
I will die if I do this again.
Now before you all rush me off to the ER or rehab (for one a one day mistake), I am OK. Sitting up and typing, I am OK. Keeping a close look at my vitals, if anything goes higher, I will go to the ER

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Sorry you think I was too harsh. She came here looking for sympathy and for people to tell it was ok, just one slip. And you gave it to her.

Now she has your permission and pity. Go back and read some of the posts.

The whole bottle of vodka was drank All whole bottle of vodka drunk down in one day, IS NOT A SLIP. If she is drinking that much, then she needs to maintain that that much alcohol consumption often.

She admits she turned her free will over to alcohol but will not give up her free will for help.

She is only trying to fool you and to fool herself.

She needs to get some kind of help before she drunkenly gets behind the wheel of a car and goes out driving. And please don't say to won't happen. Because eventually it will; and/or has already happened.

I am concerned about her and I hope she gets some kind of help before it's too late.

Originally Posted by LIGHTNING

Sorry you think I was too harsh. She came here looking for sympathy and for people to tell it was ok, just one slip. And you gave it to her.

Now she has your permission and pity. Go back and read some of the posts.

The whole bottle of vodka was drank All whole bottle of vodka drunk down in one day, IS NOT A SLIP. If she is drinking that much, then she needs to maintain that that much alcohol consumption often.

She admits she turned her free will over to alcohol but will not give up her free will for help.

She is only trying to fool you and to fool herself.

She needs to get some kind of help before she drunkenly gets behind the wheel of a car and goes out driving. And please don't say to won't happen. Because eventually it will; and/or has already happened.

I am concerned about her and I hope she gets some kind of help before it's too late.

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I have been reading this thread with interest, as it is not a thread normally posted on this site.
You're new here, so I would suggest that you not admonish the members here who are trying to support and help this woman. This is not a "tough-love" site.
Alcohol addiction is not what TCS is all about, so members here will give advice they feel is helpful and in a nurturing manner, as that is what TCS is all about.
I think you should consider where you're posting and keep in mind that this is a site about cats and cat welfare and that an established member of this site is asking for compassionate advice and guidance.