Tipping is a Privilege, Not a right. (rant)

Buffet serves usually make at least minimum wage (and I don't mean server minimum wage). We rarely ever eat at buffets, but when we do we usually leave $3.

I worked as a server for five years- four at the Olive Garden, and one at a fine dining restaurant. I made $2.13 an hour and paid the busser out of my tips. The fine dining place just took 5% of my sales and automatically gave it to my busser, 2% to my bartender, and then we tipped the food runners as we felt was necessary- usually $5 a night. The bartenders, runners, and barbacks made like $7 an hour plus whatever tips we gave them or they earned.

If you are at a sit down place I believe there is a social contract to tip for your service, since the food would be a heck of a lot more expensive if restaurants would actually have to pay their servers more than $2.13 an hour. If you get good service, then tipping between 15-20 % is the norm. If you don't get good service, make sure that you actually say something to the manager, and use your discretion on whether or not to tip. How else is the server going to know what they did wrong? I had two couples actually forget to tip before, even though I gave outstanding service, both returned later and gave cash to my manager, to give to me. If they had actually been upset with my service, I wanted to know why. My income depending on being very good at my job- if I'm not hacking it I need to know what to change : ) If you don't leave a tip, they might think you forgot!

If I go out to eat with a new couple or person and I don't know how they tip, I slip extra into my tip- maybe 25%- just in case they are a bad tipper. That just comes from being a server though

Originally Posted by Nekomania

Or has tipping become mandatory?

I was under the impression that when you tipped someone it was to award them for a job well done.

Aparently one of the waitresses at the resteraunt that we frequent doesn't think so. She thinks that we ought to tip her because she provides a service.

What service does she provide, you ask?

She brings me a glass of water.

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to answer the first question, tipping is not a right but I wouldn't call it a priviledge or an award either. If you get a service that you aren't unhappy with, you should tip, not as an award but because the restaurant itself doesn't pay waitresses per se, they pay them less than minimum wage and generally they are not supposed to be required to do a lot more work than serving people, only few side jobs for which they get about $2 per hour.. although in most cases restaurants still make them slave ...
I think it's a difficult situation, I always thought at buffets waitresses get paid regular salary, same as the hostesses because I seriously doubt people tip them for just bringing them water and the bill. I always do but that's because I was brought up to always tip and when in doubt go with tipping rather than not, and not to eat there if I can't afford to tip at least 20%....but most people are not like that.
If the waitress at the buffet gets paid waitress salary which is in the range of $2-$4 per hour, she has every right to be upset for not getting tips, although she isn't supposed to ask for a tip or show that she is upset..
If the sushi guy gets paid by the restaurant for his work there (a salary which isn't based on tips, a whole entire rate of salaries that starts at minimum wage), then you don't have to tip him. But waitresses in the end don't get paid to wait tables, the few dollars per hour they make is for cleaning up after people or doing side work..the only payment they get for waiting tables is the tips. So if you don't tip a waitress that gets paid from the rate of salaries that are based on tips, that go below minimum wage, then you are receiving a service for which you aren't paying. The fact that paying for the service is voluntary doesn't really change that...

Originally Posted by Nekomania

The thing is, and I don't like to be mean, but she's not a good waitress either.

She's very quiet and mousy and constantly walks with her head down. Never a "hi" or "Hello" or "nice to see you, what can I get you to drink?"


She barely says anything except "here's your water."

I feel like she totally overstepped her boundaries, you should never ask for a tip, which is what I felt like she was doing.

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You never know, I mean here she is working on her feet all day at a buffet style restaurant clearing tables and bringing beverages to the customers (random people/families eating at a buffet) at a low wage to help her make a living (for her and who knows who else depends on that whole salary she gets), does she have to smile big, know you by name, and act chatty to get a dollar and change?
And if she says "here is your water" then she must have either 1. asked you what she can get you to drink or 2. remembered what you ordered last time.

Originally Posted by Nekomania

you dont have to take schooling to be a crappy waitress.

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There are many people working under their skill level right now due to the economy. You have no idea what schooling she does or doesn't have.
There is an easy fix, next time ask for a different section or waitress if you clearly do not like her and are not going to pay for any services she gives you because her attitude isn't perky enough for you.

Rob and I usually tip at the chinese buffet restaurant we go to. But they are almost always very pleasant, dont wait until our glass is completely empty before refilling, clear the table when we're ready for a new plate, etc.

When we went to NYC and had dinner, they had printed the suggested tip amount at the bottom of the bill. Good was 15%, Great was 20% and Excellent was 25%. We gave her just under 15% because she wasn't even good. She messed up our orders twice, barely came to refill our glasses, and after spending $60 in food, we felt the service wasn't up to par.

I really hate when restaurants just add the tip in, they dont leave you a choice in the matter And I'm not even talking about the large party checks, either.

Originally Posted by Tara & Rob

I really hate when restaurants just add the tip in, they dont leave you a choice in the matter

And I'm not even talking about the large party checks, either.

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You would think adding the tip would take away any incentive they may have on providing a good service, but I've actually found that at the restaurants where the tip is included, I've gotten much better service than ones where it's voluntary..
I think at the restaurants where tip is included, they probably tell them something like if someone complains then you're fired...
I don't mind having the tip included because people can be jerks and refuse to tip even if the service is excellent.

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

Those they are saying that servers get paid below minimum wage are correct, typically servers are paid $3.25. I think the reasoning behind this is that if a server has to depend on tips to make her income, than she (or he) should do a darn good job to earn those tips- otherwise, what is the incentive to be nice and friendly to all the jerks that come in?

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My problem with this line of thinking is that the kid at the McDonald's counter still gets paid above minimum wage whether he does a good job or not. Same for the girl that cuts my hair. Sure, they'll be fired if their level of performance is bad enough and enough people complain, but so will the waitress. A tip should be something extra you get for good performance, not something you have to get to survive.

Originally Posted by WELDRWOMN

Some restaurants have even made tipping mandatory which I disagree with because I think it completely makes the whole point of a tip moot. There was even a restaurant in the news a few weeks ago because the manager called the cops on some people who walked out after they paid the bill. The reason that the cops were called was because the people didn't leave the mandatory tip. When interviewed, the people said that the service was horrible and they didn't believe a tip was warranted. But because the tip was "mandatory" they were arrested for theft of services.

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A "mandatory tip" is an oxymoron. If it's mandatory, it's not a tip. If the owner really wants to make sure his wait staff are taken care of, he/she should just add 15% to the food prices and write "gratuity included" on the bottom of the menus.

Originally Posted by ut0pia

You would think adding the tip would take away any incentive they may have on providing a good service, but I've actually found that at the restaurants where the tip is included, I've gotten much better service than ones where it's voluntary..
I think at the restaurants where tip is included, they probably tell them something like if someone complains then you're fired...
I don't mind having the tip included because people can be jerks and refuse to tip even if the service is excellent.

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Probably because they end up making more on average than in other restaurants so the managers can pick and choose who they let wait tables.

Originally Posted by Grogs

A "mandatory tip" is an oxymoron. If it's mandatory, it's not a tip. If the owner really wants to make sure his wait staff are taken care of, he/she should just add 15% to the food prices and write "gratuity included" on the bottom of the menus.

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Well said!! At restaurants where gratuity is included, waiters and waitresses are still trying to get more than just that 15%, which isn't much, and working hard to get a "tip" despite that 15% they will automatically get.

I always tip when at a restaurant, even if it is a buffet. I was a waitress for a long time. It is not an easy job. When I was a waitress I made $2.85 an hour plus tips, and we had to pay out of that for the busboys. I came to expect tips because I busted my butt to do my best and help all of my tables when they needed it. It isn't always possible to get to a table to refill peoples drinks before their glass is empty, because you usually have more than one table at a time and you also have to worry about everyone. Did I ever get stiffed by a customer? Yes. Have I ever asked a customer why they didn't tip me or why they only left me 50 cents? No!

IMO that waitress was very rude, and it is bad waitress ettiquite to ask for a tip. I think you should hve complained to the manager or her supervisor. However, just because you were at a buffet and get your own food doesn't necessarily mean that she didn't deserve a tip. If she was rude, never came to the table to see if you had everything you needed, or completely ignored you then no, she didn't deserve anything. However, even if I don't feel a waitress deserves a tip, I will still leave SOMETHING, because they rely on tips. I go to a buffet when I go to Wildwood for vacation. The waitresses bring your drinks, silverware, if you want soup they bring you soup, and they clear you dirty dishes to make room for more, but ultimately, buffets have busboys and they are the ones who clean the tables after you leave. Waitresses deal with a lot of cranky, idiotic ignorant people who don't deserve good service but MOST waitresses are still nice because they want you to tip. Yes, most waitresses believe that everyone should tip no matter what, but they hardly make any money.

So, even if a waitress isn't the best, I don't know what she had been through before I got there, so I try to leave AT LEAST $2 because I believe its the right thing to do. Just MHO

I tip according to sevice. If someone is kind and polite...then I make sure I leave them a reasonable tip and thank them for being helpful. If someone goes out of their way to make sure I have everytihng I need at dinner and really is kind, I try to say something to them and let them know it's appreciated. At some resturants around here, the managers stop by the table to ask how everything is. If I have a great server,I am always sure to acknowledge the good job that they're doing to their manager. I'm sure people get complaints 24/7 from rude patrons...it might be nice for them to hear how good their resturant staff is and to hear a kind word. If someone is a good waitor/waitress while i'm dining in their resturant and their manager asks me about my meal, I always point out how wonderful the staff/food was and that the person did a good job. (When I do that, I hope that the person gets a raise or some recognizition for a job well done!)

Now that being said...if the waitor/waitress is rude to me, I try to put myself in their shoes first. I ask them how their day is and how they're doing. Who knows, maybe that's the first kind word they've heard all day. Perhaps they were just having a bad day or something terrible has happened to them...we're all human. (Idealy when you serve someone, you should be kind and polite...but nobody is perfect...we all have those days where we just wanna go home). Sometimes we have bad days and that can play a role in our mood. If I think they're just having a bad day but seem nice otherwise, I'll leave a tip. Maybe they just need a little extra kindness that day.

Now That being said, if the wait staff is just downright bitchy, rude and lazy, I do NOT tip them whatsoever. You do not treat patrons of your resturant with that kind of disrespect and bad service. I feel that a tip is something you earn, not a right. (I used to work in a resturant). You earn your tip by taking care of guests and being polite. If you're hateful and rude and do not provide good service, you do not deserve a tip imo. Under no conditions should a waitor/waitress EVER ask for a tip imo...that's completly out of line, rude, and tasteless.

I never have tipped at a buffet, then again, I rarely go to buffets...

But at sit down restaurants, I normally tip at least 15%, but then it depends on the service. One restaurant we used to go to, the service was great. It was a small family restaurant and the owner would greet the customers. We were a regular and sometimes they would bring us fresh baked cookies or something free of charge. We always tipped good there.

Several years ago, we ate at a restaurant on the pier in Santa Barbara. It was our anniversary (don't remember which one, LOL). I have never, ever since that time had the service they provided. It was EXCELLENT!!!! Our ice tea would be half full, and waitress was there to fill DH glass and the waiter was there to fill mine. We had TWO servers!! Maybe one was training the other, I don't know, but the meal was around $90 (we had the steak and lobster, LOL) and we tipped around $20-30. It was that good!!!

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

I tip according to sevice. If someone is kind and polite...then I make sure I leave them a reasonable tip and thank them for being helpful. If someone goes out of their way to make sure I have everytihng I need at dinner and really is kind, I try to say something to them and let them know it's appreciated. At some resturants around here, the managers stop by the table to ask how everything is. If I have a great server,I am always sure to acknowledge the good job that they're doing to their manager. I'm sure people get complaints 24/7 from rude patrons...it might be nice for them to hear how good their resturant staff is and to hear a kind word. If someone is a good waitor/waitress while i'm dining in their resturant and their manager asks me about my meal, I always point out how wonderful the staff/food was and that the person did a good job. (When I do that, I hope that the person gets a raise or some recognizition for a job well done!)

Now that being said...if the waitor/waitress is rude to me, I try to put myself in their shoes first. I ask them how their day is and how they're doing. Who knows, maybe that's the first kind word they've heard all day. Perhaps they were just having a bad day or something terrible has happened to them...we're all human. (Idealy when you serve someone, you should be kind and polite...but nobody is perfect...we all have those days where we just wanna go home). Sometimes we have bad days and that can play a role in our mood. If I think they're just having a bad day but seem nice otherwise, I'll leave a tip. Maybe they just need a little extra kindness that day.

Now That being said, if the wait staff is just downright bitchy, rude and lazy, I do NOT tip them whatsoever. You do not treat patrons of your resturant with that kind of disrespect and bad service. I feel that a tip is something you earn, not a right. (I used to work in a resturant). You earn your tip by taking care of guests and being polite. If you're hateful and rude and do not provide good service, you do not deserve a tip imo. Under no conditions should a waitor/waitress EVER ask for a tip imo...that's completly out of line, rude, and tasteless.

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I have to agree with all of that. My daughter put herself through school being a waitress/bar tender. She is such a low-key sweet girl..and I say that not because she is my daughter. Many people say that about her. She had to put up with dirty old men propositioning her..to rude people that expected her to almost feed them by hand. The entitled! Based on her experiance, I tip everyone very well. From the busser(that I did in my younger years) to the wait/staff...buffet or not.

I usually overtip, percentage-wise, because my vegetarian meals are often much less expensive than those of omnivorous customers, and I don't think the server should suffer for that.

And even if the server is terrible, I always tip at least enough to cover the amount he or she will be taxed on. In the U.S., I believe servers are taxed as if they've been tipped at least 8% of each customer's bill -- so if you tip any less than that, you've actually caused that server to lose money on you.

I checked with a friend who is a server at a buffet here, and she makes regular minimum wage, not server wage ($9.50, server wage is $8.25).

The local buffet here charges more than enough for food but I always leave a small tip at the buffet for good service, however nowhere near what I would leave at a regular restaurant as it is not the same level of work for the waitstaff.

However, that being said, I have walked out leaving a penny on two occasions because of bad service (and yes I also reported them to the manager) but I do think that while it is part of their income to them, there is a simple way of them getting that tip from me - being polite / pleasant and taking orders / refilling drinks / removing plates in a timely fashion. It isnt that much to do your job well if you want a tip.

However, I do understand that some things are not the waitstaffs fault and will take that into consideration if it is an issue of undercooked food etc, but it is also up to them to deal with it correctly (one waiter picked my pink chicken up in his hand and took a bite saying it tasted ok to him)

I went out to eat with a group a few days ago - I didn't tip the gal. She slapped my plate down in front of me from behind me (without saying a thing - I didn't even know she was there & about to put my plate down). She took my plate when I was done eating, however I hadn't finished it all - she didn't ask if I was done, or if I wanted a box or anything.

IMO, it was lousy service - and I felt no need to tip her.

Just so no one thinks that I'm not a tipper... I do tip at regular resteraunts according to the service I feel that I get. And most of the time it's great service and every once and a while you get that one awesome person that has that waitressing power to make you feel like you are the most important person there right now...

Another thing is that since when Cody and I go out 80% of the time we share a meal and most of the time our bill is under 15$ I still leave at least 3 bucks on the table if I got good service.

I don't blame waitresses for things that they cannot control, such as undercooked food, and most of the time they act like it is their fault as if they think that I believe they cooked the food.

I have also forgotten to tip before and without feeling embarrassed walked back in to hand my waitress some money or leave it on the table.

As far as buffet service goes, I found out that they make minimum wage here and not the typical waitstaff pay for a regular resteraunt, whicm makes me feel less bad about not tipping now.

I agree with some of you that said I should have tipped under 15% so that she would recognize that she may have done something wrong. Unfortunately that didn't even cross my mind to do and probably would have had better results. I feel even more so now that since she probably makes minimum wage that she shouldn't have complained. I'm not a complainer so I wont take it to management. I don't want to cost her her job, plus I enjoy the manager's company so I would hate to seem like a complaining customer.

Furthermore, I feel that from what I have seen the manager herself does a lot of the work that the waitresses should be doing. I wish I could just tip her because man...when something goes wrong it's like magic and she's right there behind you to help fix it. Like the time i accidentally dropped a roll, and as I was bending over to pick it up BAM there she was with a broom and dustpan sweeping it up before I even touched it.

I feel like if I have no fear that my food will be tampered with then I just will keep my mouth shut and continue to do what I have been doing, but next time I will probably leave 2 cents on the table unless she does something outstanding.


For any of you who have ever seen the moving "Waiting" that is why I Never ever ever complain at resteraunts...

My mother worked as a waitress for many years... In fact that was our sole income at one time.

She was paid below minimum wage, and yes, relied heavily on tips to survive and feed her family.

I do STRONGLY believe in tipping because of my upbringing.

That said, there's the issue of the server ASKING for a tip..... ok, here, since a lot of things are automated, most people pay with credit/debit, the machines now have tips on them and sometimes the server has to ask "Would you like to leave a tip" as they have to enter that option on the machine. THAT is IMO the only appropriate time/way to ask for a tip.

I think it was incredibly rude of her to ask for a tip.

Even at buffets (the restaurant my mom worked at had one) the servers do a lot more than you see/know (mostly)....from refilling your drinks, clearing your dishes, making sure you are satisified with your food, refilling the buffet, dishwashing, and asst. other duties. They deserve a tip just as much as the person bringing you food IMO.

Again I stress, keep in mind that my mom supported a family on below min. wage + tips.

I tip, based on service. If the service was awful, then NO, I won't tip..... but if it was generally good (ex. my water refilled fairly quickly, approached to ask if there was anything I needed, etc.) then yes I tip.

Thankfully most servers are great around these parts.... So it makes it easier to tip.

See I disagree that they deserve a tip just as much as the person bringing you food because the tip I give is for good service to me, not their actual job which is what they are paid for. The buffets around here charge $17-25 per person, more than enough to pay their workers properly (and they do make minimum wage which has been increased a lot over the past few years to make it more livavle income)

All of them around here have busboys and dishwashers so the waitresses are not doing extras - apart from maybe refilling the buffet, which you see the chefs doing most of the time

Originally Posted by Nekomania

Sorry for the long rant. ^^ Money is tight and I can't believe how greedy some people are!!! Maybe I'm wrong... What are you guys thoughts on this? Should I tip her?

:

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I don't think she is being greedy. Waitresses are very poorly paid, and they rely on tips to make a living. And yes, I tip the waitress at the buffet restaurant. Her job is just as hard as anyone else's. Bus boys, too, usually get a portion of the waitresses tips.

Originally Posted by Nekomania

The thing is, and I don't like to be mean, but she's not a good waitress either.

She's very quiet and mousy and constantly walks with her head down. Never a "hi" or "Hello" or "nice to see you, what can I get you to drink?"


She barely says anything except "here's your water."

I feel like she totally overstepped her boundaries, you should never ask for a tip, which is what I felt like she was doing.

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I agree a waitress is not supposed to ask for a tip, but she didn't really. She asked "why" you don't tip her. In my opinion this was the point where you should have told her why, that you find her service sub par. Perhaps she doesn't realize that you find her service poor. Could be she was never properly trained.

To answer your question about tipping being mandatory, often large reserved parties have the gratuity automatically added to the bill.

And I always knew that she wanted a tip because she gives us change in all singles, and extremely dirty looks when we don't leave her money... But today she had the audacity to say "How come you tip the sushi guy but not your waitress?"

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You all keep saying it is rude to ask for a tip. But according to the original post the server did not ask for a tip. she asked WHY she isn't tipped.

At that point she could have been told why, because they don't like her service. Yes, it's not the customer's job to tell someone how to do her job. But if no complaint is ever made, to the server herself, or to the management, there will never be any improvement.

I too am a member of the former waitress circle. And I never ever would have asked anyone for a tip, or even asked them "why" they don't tip. But I might say "is there something wrong with my service".

Originally Posted by icklemiss21

All of them around here have busboys and dishwashers so the waitresses are not doing extras - apart from maybe refilling the buffet, which you see the chefs doing most of the time

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I guess it all depends on the area you live in

My mom was a waitress, I was a cook.... when it was busy we ALL helped with the dishes, the stocking of the buffet, etc. etc. etc.

Just cuz there are "dishwashers" and "chefs" doesn't mean that they ONLY do that job.... At least around these parts they don't.

As well, the only ones in my area that get normal wages are the students. Adult wait staff are usually paid below minimum wage.


I think bottom line is it comes down to everyones personal experience.... whether its right or wrong to tip or not tip, I don't think there's an answer. Proper etiquette tho, I think is to tip. I tip because I know what its like to not have food on our table because mom had to choose between heating the house, or food (aside from bread).... we could live without food, in the middle of winter we could not live without heat. But that is MY experience and opinion, which doesn't make my opinion right or wrong.