Tipping is a Privilege, Not a right. (rant)

Or has tipping become mandatory?

I was under the impression that when you tipped someone it was to award them for a job well done.

Aparently one of the waitresses at the resteraunt that we frequent doesn't think so. She thinks that we ought to tip her because she provides a service.

What service does she provide, you ask?

She brings me a glass of water.

Yep, that's it. And sometimes, if I'm particularly thirsty, she might refill it once. It's a buffet resteraunt.

I have always felt that you shouldn't tip at buffets because they don't really do much of anything for you, unless you are able to actually order a meal that they pysically bring to your table.

And I always knew that she wanted a tip because she gives us change in all singles, and extremely dirty looks when we don't leave her money... But today she had the audacity to say "How come you tip the sushi guy but not your waitress?"

To which cody replied "Because all you do is bring me water." Which I think is an extremely fair response. I felt compelled to say "You are lucky to even have a job right now." or "If you want tips, start making sushi."

I feel that the guy who prepares the sushi has done a lot to earn his tip. For those of you who eat sushi, I am sure that you know it's not a cheap food to eat (or prepare if you are adventurous) yet we can both eat there for less than 15 dollars, when most sushi places are 15 dollars for one roll. Sushi is also fairly difficult to make and he makes some gorgeous rolls and takes backhanded insults all the time from ignorant americans that don't even have the heart to try something new.

So no... I'm sorry mrs. waitress. You bring me water and (sometimes) clear my table for me. By your logic, I should tip the busboy when I go out to eat, since that is essentially the job that you perform.

The bottom line is, Tipping is a Privilege that you earn, not a Right that you are entitled to.


Sorry for the long rant. ^^ Money is tight and I can't believe how greedy some people are!!! Maybe I'm wrong... What are you guys thoughts on this? Should I tip her?

I wouldn't eat there anymore except for the fact that it is the only place in downriver MI that serves good sushi...

Hey! At least "sushi-guy" likes us!

How does that work, do the "waitresses" at buffets make below minimum wage as well, relying on tips?

Tough call. I'd feel bad if a good waitress had to settle for a buffet gig because jobs were scarce, then had to settle on the fact that people don't tip at buffets. Then again, that's not your problem, nor a situation you can rectify. It's just unfortunate there's nothing she could do to "earn" a tip.

That being said, she perhaps could have handled your exchange of words a bit better.

I hate things like this. No real answers.

The thing is, and I don't like to be mean, but she's not a good waitress either.

She's very quiet and mousy and constantly walks with her head down. Never a "hi" or "Hello" or "nice to see you, what can I get you to drink?"


She barely says anything except "here's your water."

I feel like she totally overstepped her boundaries, you should never ask for a tip, which is what I felt like she was doing.

If i go to a resturant where we order...well those servers are only paid about 3.25 per hour and live off of tips...plus they work their butts off. So i tip and tip as well as i can afford (Unless they were rude)...at a buffet i usually try to leave a dollar or two. Just to be nice. it is not something i consider manditory as the servers there are paid more because they DON'T get enough in tips.

I don't feel that it is manditory to tip a server at a buffet because they really more bus the tables than serve (Bus people get paid a higher hourly wage than servers at sit down resturants) So basically if i am feeling generouse and have the money i will leave a buck or two, but i think tips should go to the workers who WORK for them.

I tend to agree about a tip being based on performance. I don't eat at buffets so I haven't run into that particular situation.

On the flip side of the coin, a lot of waitstaff are paid well below minimum wage because the restaurant owner figures tips into their wage so that the waitstaff really do depend on tips.

Some restaurants have even made tipping mandatory which I disagree with because I think it completely makes the whole point of a tip moot. There was even a restaurant in the news a few weeks ago because the manager called the cops on some people who walked out after they paid the bill. The reason that the cops were called was because the people didn't leave the mandatory tip. When interviewed, the people said that the service was horrible and they didn't believe a tip was warranted. But because the tip was "mandatory" they were arrested for theft of services.

Here is the article http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com..._blg=1,1393099

If i have had good service ill tip but otherwise i wont

theres only one place i do tend to tip at regular as they are so friendly and always thankfull you picked their resturant and bend over backwards to help do your meal the way you want

and if a waitress questioned me about tipping id speak to their boss but thats me

With the amount we spend on the meal its self they should PAY THEIR EMPLOYEES MORE. not expect their customers to not only pay for their meal but also pay their employees? I mean come on!!! I do know how much work goes in to waitressing (i was a cater waitress and a regular waitress). It did tick me off when a tip wasnt left (as a regular waitress. We didnt get tips for catering) if i DESERVED a tip. but i know it wasnt manditory and got over it. For a resturant to actually file charges because a tip wasnt left?

I wonder...what would have happened if they only left a quarter?

I tip very well when warrented. I really appreciate good service. But because I tip well I also have no qualms about showing my feelings regarding poor service through my tip by docking it. I don't expect them to dance a jig for me but I want basic manners, like a greeting of some sort, eye contact, willingness to answer any questions I may have when ordering. Refilling my drink is always appreciated.

If this person is working at a buffet I am sure some people may tip her for being an outstanding glorified busboy , but I don't think it is a mandatory thing either. So, being schlumpy and having the audacity (!) to ask for a tip just makes me want to not tip a person even more. I would even call the management and find out what their policy is on tipping. Depending on how the call goes you could even let them know that an employee asked why they got no tip.

Some people are not cut out for certain jobs. I work hard for my money and do what I have to do, they should do the same. Being in service you need to do just that, be of service and be pleasant. If you are not my heart doesn't bleed for you one bit. Go clean toilets for a living, not be in the service industry.

I think the problem really is with how they pay waitresses. The theory is that the restaurant pays them some pittance like $3/hr and tips will bring them up above minimum wage. That works great in a busy sit-down restaurant. Unless the waitress is just lousy or all of the customers are tightwads, she'll make a good deal of money. But if it's a slow night or a buffet restaurant, the waitresses actually end up taking home less than minimum wage through no fault of their own.

This is my take on the situation:

Those they are saying that servers get paid below minimum wage are correct, typically servers are paid $3.25. I think the reasoning behind this is that if a server has to depend on tips to make her income, than she (or he) should do a darn good job to earn those tips- otherwise, what is the incentive to be nice and friendly to all the jerks that come in? I used to serve and let me tell you, it is one of the hardest, most thankless jobs ever created. I think that for people who are mean to servers there should be an 8th level of hell, server hell, where they have to run around carrying 20 lb trays of food on one hand while people yell at them for refills, more napkins, etc

It is a tough situation regarding buffet servers cause they really don't do much but clear your plates and bring drinks. I think those servers should be paid at leat minimum wage, like bussers are. When I go to a buffet, I typically leave a dollar per person.

As for the server actually asking you that, at my restaurant we have had people fired for that

This is a “to each his/her own” type question. For me tipping is always mandatory. I will always tip no matter what. What I tip depends on how well they do. If they barely do anything I won’t tip much, but as a rule I generally try and tip at least 15%.

I worked in a tip based industry and I have friends in a tip based industry. A lot of these folks work for a wage that’s not even comfortably livable off of, they are on their feet all day, have to deal with annoying kids or rude customers, working for the public (as I’m sure a lot of us know, since most people have done it at least once in their life) is HARD.

Part of some of the things I remember of being in a tip based job is working my butt off, running around, having a sore back and feet, having to smile at stupid customers, cleaning up after then with their nastiness, trying to do 20 things at a time but always being happy when I got that good tip. If I didn’t smile once, or wasn’t perfect the entire shift because I was getting crapped on I wasn’t a good worker. Meanwhile the customer never saw the million other things the workers are expected to do.

I don’t really care if people I am with don’t tip but I have on more than one occasion snuck back and put more money on the table as a tip lol. I know what it’s like and I feel sorry for these people. But it is not mandatory overall.

I always feel this dilemma when I am at a buffet style restaurant. At a regular sit down restaurant its easy... min 15% if the service was just OK scaling up to 20% if our server was just the best we've ever had. But buffets I am always stumped on. Most of the time we only see the "server" when/if they bring us our drinks (some places you get your drinks at the same time that you pay) and then our plates mysteriously disappear in between trips to the buffet. I'm not sure that is really worth a tip. I still tip a few dollars though since I also don't want to earn a reputation as being a "non-tipper". I used to be a server a long time ago and believe me, they remember the non tippers.

I think that buffet tips rank up there with the picking up your own pizza or Chinese takeout tips. I will still give a few dollars just so that I continue to get good service, but I think its ridiculous that we should feel pressured to tip for something that really doesn't deserve one.

Originally Posted by WELDRWOMN

Some restaurants have even made tipping mandatory which I disagree with because I think it completely makes the whole point of a tip moot. There was even a restaurant in the news a few weeks ago because the manager called the cops on some people who walked out after they paid the bill. The reason that the cops were called was because the people didn't leave the mandatory tip. When interviewed, the people said that the service was horrible and they didn't believe a tip was warranted. But because the tip was "mandatory" they were arrested for theft of services.

Here is the article http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SmartSpending/blog/page.aspx?post=1393099&_blg=1,1393099

Click to expand...

HA! Last week in England, my boyfriend's dad found this tiny blurb in the newspaper that a couple were arrested for not tipping in Pennsylvania. BF and I both said it couldn't be true, a tip is NOT required, etc.. well now I see this has got to be the same story! And in Bethlehem, my hometown, no less! I just had to email him the link and tell him to show his dad.. Too funny! Yet so ridiculous...

I tip well unless I get crappy service, then I will tip but less than $1 so they know I meant to do it. If I tip nothing then they might think i forgot and just be mad. But I know in the US that's how it is with bartenders/servers, the tips are figured into their income and so their wages are adjusted accordingly. Should it be that way? Probably not, we should pay them at least min. wage like every other industry. But that's the way it is.

Now as for the OP, I cannot believe the 'waitress' asked about a tip!! That's awful! That would not make me want to start tipping in the future. Jeez.

Originally Posted by WELDRWOMN

Some restaurants have even made tipping mandatory which I disagree with because I think it completely makes the whole point of a tip moot. There was even a restaurant in the news a few weeks ago because the manager called the cops on some people who walked out after they paid the bill. The reason that the cops were called was because the people didn't leave the mandatory tip. When interviewed, the people said that the service was horrible and they didn't believe a tip was warranted. But because the tip was "mandatory" they were arrested for theft of services.

Here is the article http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com..._blg=1,1393099

Click to expand...

I hope the incident causes a major loss in business or even a boycott - that's not how you treat your customers.


The buffet places here usually have good waitresses. They'll bring drinks, plates/take them away, and always ask if we need anything else - the same service from waitresses at other restaurants. For that they do get tipped.

IMO she should never have brought up tips to begin with. That is just a "no-no" she was very rude to bring it up. I worked in a restaurant for 9 years as a waitress and closing manager. I personally think she should be reported to the actual manager, but you also have to think about what waitresses do.

You don't know what goes on behind the scenes. When I worked in a restuarant that had a buffet it was the waitresses that ran things out to the buffet and let the cooks know what they were low on. Also you mentioned the waitress only "bussing" your table. Well how many tables did she have? I ran my BUTT off doing a buffet and most of the time didn't get crap for it...all for less than min wage. Let me tell you, if you had someone come and clean your table and do your dishes after you are finished eating you would probably pay them. I can guarantee you that sushi chef is paid good...tips are exta.

I'm not trying to argue here, but until you work in the field you don't have a clue.

Originally Posted by Nekomania

Sushi is also fairly difficult to make and he makes some gorgeous rolls and takes backhanded insults all the time from ignorant americans that don't even have the heart to try something new.

Click to expand...

Does my opinion really matter, since I am one of those "ignorant Americans" who doesn't like sushi?

Regardless of the situation, I don't think it is ever right to tell someone that they are lucky "to even have a job". I know you didn't say it, which was good in my view. However, in the same vein, the waitress should never ask for a tip, or ask why you didn't tip.

On topic, I tip at buffets. I don't know what the waitresses do when they are not bringing me drinks, but I do know they are not paid much and rely heavily on tips. Like it or not, it is the nature of the restaurant business these days.

I ramble.

Tip-free cookies all around.

Dave

I leave about $3-5 usually at a buffett. I didn't tip one time at a buffet. It was a new chinese place in town and I heard it was really good. The food was disguisting and the service was horrible. The meal cost like $40 and it was worth maybe $5 so we didn't tip.

Did I mention that they have staffed busboys?

I dont have to work for tips to know that waitressing can be hard and stressful. But i also know what good service should be like. I know who refills the buffet and cleans the tables after we leave and its not the employee who brought up my tipping habits.

Sure the sushi chef probably gets paid more, but he worked harder to get where he is. you dont have to take schooling to be a crappy waitress.

Ok, do you know if the busboys get a percentage of the waitresses'tips? They do in a lot of places and they usually make minimum wage, as apposed to the waitresses. I agree that the one waitress you dealt with should be reported to her manager but not all waitresses are like that.

I tip according to the service I get, not even the quality of the food. I just hate it when the servers take the money at the table and ask if you need change. If that happens, I say yes and they don't get near the tip they were going to get, if anything. I don't ask for much, except the occasional refill of a drink, and just hate it when the server hovers and wants to chat. I have actually had them sit down beside dh in a booth and ask about his tattoos, totally ignoring me, going as far as filling his glass and not mine. Not only did she not get a tip, we got our meal for free, and she got in trouble.