Feral Socialisation - Too Fast / Too Slow / just Right?

I am heart broken that one of the cats I socialised may be coming back to the shelter. I spent a very long time with her adopter explaining her needs etc and this adopter had come in looking for someone she could bring around - not one of the instant pets.

She is upset that the cat is not a cuddly cat - which she was told she probably never would be - but I thing part of her issue is she doesnt try enough. She says the cat tenses under her hands so she doesnt try to touch her. Well a cat with no contact is never going to get used to contact.

On the other hand, the cat now comes out when she has guests and sits on the furniture etc in comparison to her first two months there where she practically lived under the sofa.

I am not sure what the adopter expects from her at this point, she is going to give it a bit longer as the shelter is full and she is trying Feliway (which I am sure I recommended at the time of adoption and several times since)

I have tried telling her the usuals about putting your hands on them, then under etc until you can pick them up but she seems too worried about upsetting her to try.

I think part of my mistake was showing her Autumn's progress pictures but I forced (gently) Autumn into being a pet, she was handled daily regardless of how she liked it, starting with a wand toy, then a soft brush before ever putting my hands on her.

I still remember the day Autumn finally jumped up beside me at the shelter and let me touch her with the brush without a swat or a bite, it was the day I agreed to foster her. I know many people in the shelter thought I took things too fast with her in the beginning, but Matt was not willing to have a real feral in the house, temporary or not, and I was her last chance - the shelter had already declawed her in the hope that one of the volunteers who also spent time with her would take her if she could do less damage, something I have only seen them do once in all the time I have been there.

I really dont know what to suggest to her at this point, while we are a no-kill shelter, we do have provisions in our mandate that it is only adoptable animals as we have seen too many cats that should not be in a shelter languish in a cage for too long. Euthanising any animal (even one hit by a car who is braindead) has to be agreed on by a committee but none of them know this cat and none of them are really feral people so I could really do with suggestions on how to get this woman to handle the cat more without taking it too fast that its too much for the cat

Just to clarify, Autumn is my cat. She was more feral than this one when adopted (or at least fostered). With this one I had already worked with her for several months before adoption. However, different types of feral too - Autumn is the aggressive rip your face off kind and this cat is the quiet hideaway kind.

I have been in contact with her adopter on a regular basis, at least once a month and sometimes much more and I know she has spoken to the adoption counsellors when I have not been there when she called. She has met me at the shelter, spoken on the phone and by email a lot.

She adopted a feral from us previously and worked with it, it came around and lived a very spoiled life but died quite young, I think at 7. So I dont think she is fed up of having a cat in general - I know ferals can be a PITA when socialising but I really dont how how much she can expect from the cat given she was feral at 3 years old and she wont push her.

With the strides she has made, I know she will regress in the shelter if she comes back and I know what the outcome of that will be