What is my feral cat trying to tell me? - Page 2

I don't think I'm in any danger. Spencer loves me, he's just a little iffy about being restrained.

I am currently working on the forehead kiss. Heather won't let my face near her body, at all. Spencer, well, I'm happy to say this morning was actually the first time I made contact. He bounced up and backed off a couple of steps afterward, but that's some serious progress for the little guy.

Awh, Pete, that's so sweet!!! <<<Hugs>>> for being such a good guy!

OMG the kissing and hugging are so totally about the personality of the cat!

Lazlo, who was rescued at 10 weeks old, we can pick up for a couple of minutes (to get him in a carrier). He sleeps on the pillows over my head, but not "in" the bed with us. He LOVES being brushed endlessly, and loves being petted with hands for a little while - but is NOT a lap cat.

Sheldon, who was rescued at 12 weeks old, has within the last year become a lap cat. (He's almost 8 years old now). BUT he has always slept on the bed with us. He's slept curled up to me snuggled with my arm over him for the past several years - before that he slept around the end of the bed, and he'd just move if we moved around.

Flowerbelle is NOT a lap cat except in the bathroom. For some reason, she loves it there. She slept in bed with us the first month or so she was home after being rescued, but she was really ill. Now she sleeps curled up into either my knee(s) or Gary's.... but again, she just gets up if we start moving around, waits until we're done, and then lies back down. She started doing this around age 2, and she just turned 6 years old. She JUST started letting us pet her. She, however, LOVED to lick our hands any time we went to pet her. I guess she preferred to do the petting. All of that said, she purred 100% of the time (except when asleep) for the first 4-5 years. Now she purrs about 75 - 80% of the time. She's just happy to be alive.

Spooky LOVES being brushed and cuddled - but she's not in love with being on our laps. She likes to be squished up next to us. She sleeps inbetween us, but if Gary starts to roll over on her, she just bolts.

Tuxedo loves sleeping in the bed when we're not in it. He is also a feral rescue (1 year old when we brought him in) and is also almost 8 years old. He LOVES being petted though. His problem - which will likely be your Tabby's problem - is that he got overstimulated very easily. He could stand exactly one pet with a hand on the cheek at first. This slowly grew to two, then three - and after a couple of years, he could just stand there forever as long as we pet one side and then the other side, back and forth. He is the first feral rescue we did "right" - meaning with the guidance of people on this board. We waited for him to do the headbump before trying to pet or brush him or anything. And he is the most expressively loving cat we have. He doesn't mind being kissed, he doesn't mind being held for a few minutes, and though he doesn't sleep with us and isn't a lap cat - he LOVES lying on the upper shelf of the cat tree (head height), rolling around on his back, grabbing our heads and rubbing his head all over ours. You just LOOK at that cat and he purrs.

Ming Loy, on the other hand, was rescued young, but had to stay at the vet until we were sure she wasn't bringing anything home because one of our kitties has a compromised immune system. She was just relieved to be out of the vet, so she was just always insanely happy. But she never was that interested in us (other than for food), and we were fine with that. She LOVED playing, so that's what we did with her. When she'd just turned 3 years old, I was sitting on the floor with a wand toy playing wiht her, and she waddled over (she's handicapped) and just plopped in my lap. And that's what she does. God forbid one of us picks her up and puts her in a lap - she's out of there in a flash. But if she wants in a lap, it doesn't matter what's going on or what's there (especially a lap top) - she just barrels her way in. She loves sleeping squished between our legs at the end of the bed - though if Gary's thrashing around too much, she will relocate to my other side.

Billy was about 2 years old when we rescued him. He'd been exposed to people in a good way, but he socialized faster than any other cat we'd ever rescued. HE is a TOTAL lap cat. He sleeps smashed up next to me, he sleeps on my head, he loves being held like a baby on his back, he loves having his tummy rubbed, he loves being kissed and kisses back.... he headbumps us all the time - he LOVES it when I "pet" him with my head. I started doing this because he was VERY close to his brother, and we just couldn't place them together - it was getting cold, so in he came. He is VERY cat friendly - and ours thought he was an alien. So since he was trying to headbump all of our kitties on the head, I started putting my head down and headbumping HIM. He'd then do that arched back rub... so I just started moving my head down his body - basically "petting" him with my head. He LOVES it - but it had the added bonus of getting him used to having our faces in his face - and now he just walks up onto our laps, stretches up, and rubs his cheek on our cheeks. Talk about melting your heart.

So.... what they're into is just SO depending upon their personalities to begin with... but I think the way things get introduced - and when - can play a role in what they're willing to accept.

I know that feeling so well!

It took about 2 years for my Ferris to let me give him a kiss on the top of his head. The wait was worth it.

He didn't come near me for about the first 6 months - but he went to my male roommate. After having his long, matted fur shaved when he was almost a year old (a lion cut) he learned that he liked the feeling of my hands on his skin. As his coat grew back in, he got more and more trusting of my touch. I can even brush his belly now. Sometimes. When he lets me.

He's still very feral at times, but I pay close attention to his body language and always act appropriately based on the cues he gives me. It takes a long time, sometimes, for small things to happen, like a kiss on the head, but when they do, it's just that much more rewarding.

Well, just color me jealous. I'm now going to start working on Allen and Spencer to see if I can either of them to do this!

Keep at it, Never say never ...

I have two ladies under my roof both born feral ... One came with some socializing and was appox 9 months .... She climbed doorframes for over a year and the only time she was "tame " was at the vet as she was Extremely scared.Note I did NOT know what feral meant at the beginning.. Zoey is now the house greeter , she bets the dog to the door to say hi and you had better ackowledge her or she may go feral on your legs ... took nearly 3 yrs till I could hold her at home for accross a room, it is still at year 5 a countdown( I have 10-15 seconds ) to move her ...
Dahlia was caught at 4 months and not released do to a uri ... She was then "housed" in an open cage shelter with NO human socialization for four yrs ... Well a year ago I got her ... Today I can pick her up , carry her ( another 10-15 second girl) , clip her nails, she sits next to me and lays on my legs ...

My motto is you put in the work time and they will come around....