Things have been difficult...

alicatjoy

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
Messages
1,662
Purraise
66
Location
Northeast Ohio
I don't typically like to open up about my personal life, but on the few occasions that I have done so on this site, I have felt safe and validated. So, I'm going to try to be as open as possible -- especially since I am going through a particularly rough time right now.

Just under 2 weeks ago, I turned very ill. I became increasingly fatigued, had a recurring fever with chills, and was often nauseated. I figured I was just down for the count and coming down with a nasty cold or the flu, but when days passed with no new symptoms, I began to get worried. Instead, the fevers continued and I soon was unable to keep any food or fluids down. I spoke with, and later met with, my doctor, but there was nothing specific that she found she was able to diagnose me with. Three days later I was dehydrated, lethargic, and in so much pain and discomfort (abdominal) that I could not get out of bed. And, at that point, I had no choice but to call off from work and head to the ER. I believe that was the day before Halloween (things get a bit fuzzy from here). They took bloodwork, did a CT scan (with oral and IV contrast), did a UA (urinalysis), and gave me fluids, pain medication, and an anti-nausea medication. However, the tests all came back negative aside from the UA which showed I had a UTI (I did not -- I have a chronic medical condition which presents as UTI's and kidney infections) and they sent me on my way. Their diagnosis: a UTI and the start of my menstrual cycle. But, all was not well and I became so ill in the next day that I was rushed back to the hospital via the paramedics within 6 hours.

Once at the hospital, I again had labs taken, a CT scan (with oral and IV contrast), another UA, an MRI, and an ultrasound (pelvic). My blood pressure was high for me (146/106) and I had a low-grade fever (99.8), but all other tests came back normal and I was soon pegged as a drug seeker and non-compliant (they wanted me to take an antibiotic that I was allergic to (with a Benadryl chaser) and have an exam done that I was not comfortable with). Due to a large number of drug allergies (and chronic medical conditions) they were giving me fluids, Phenergan for nausea, and Dilaudid for pain. However, the only drug I requested was the Phenergan due to the severe nausea I was experiencing. They insisted on the Dilaudid and, as I was in pain, I didn't resist. But, all that's neither here nor there. While at the hospital the second time, I began experiencing excruciating pain in my lower right abdomen. The physician's assistant who was treating me insisted it was due to the UTI and wanted to send me home, but I insisted on being admitted and after hours of arguing, they relented and admitted me for observation.

Once admitted, they did yet another ultrasound -- this time to check for kidney stones and had me consult with a GI doc and an OBGYN. They, too, said that it was a UTI and that I was faking the pain for the pain meds. But, the next morning, I think I proved them all wrong when I suddenly collapsed during the discharge process. They took my vitals and my blood pressure had plummeted to 70/46 and my heart-rate climbed to over 120 bpm. My fever had spiked and I was vomiting blood. They re-drew my labs and my WBC (white blood count) was sky-high. The doctors were stumped and finally, thank God, a nurse suggested the possibility of appendicitis (which I had offered up on countless occasions, but was told I did not fit the profile) and a surgical consult was ordered. And, from there, I remember even less as I was nearly unconscious. The surgeon did consult and I was whisked off to surgery almost immediately. I had my appendix removed and I was soon recovering from laporoscopic abdominal surgery.

It turned out I was the black sheep of appendicitis sufferers. My appendix appeared only slightly inflamed yet, as the pathology report indicated, was very much infected. Thankfully, my appendix did not rupture, but it did cost me nearly a week in the hospital with constand IV fluids and pain medication. I was discharged late last week and have since been recuperating at home. I'm off of work until next Wednesday (at the earliest) and will be seeing the surgeon in his office this coming Tuesday.

Recovering from the surgery has been a rocky road for me. The anesthesia (sp) was very hard on me -- physically and emotionally. I've lost an incredible amount of weight in a short period of time and I continue to suffer from a lack of appetite and intermittent nausea and vomiting. The incisions are healing well, but I am very sore and still quite tired and lethargic. My concentration is off and I have difficulty thinking and expressing myself verbally and in written form. But, perhaps worst of all, my emotional state has not been well since my illness. I was pulled off of my antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication while in the hospital and that, coupled with the anesthesia (sp), has left me dealing with an overwhelming sense of sadness and anxiety. Thankfully, I am back on my medication, but I'm still struggling. The depression is heavy and it scares me, but I do know that this too shall pass. I suppose I just need to let it all out as opposed to keeping it bottled up within. I guess posting this here is helping me with that...

I leave tomorrow for a "business" trip. It's for a not-for-profit group that I volunteer with. I'll be traveling to Fort Wayne, IN and am just not feeling up to it. The trip itself will be fairly low-key, but it's concerning nonetheless. The schedule is heavy, but much of the weekend will be spent sitting in meetings -- I will be able to take care of myself as well as conduct the business at hand. I had previously committed to presenting a forum tomorrow evening and have worked hard to get everything in place for that meeting despite my recent health issues. I know that I'm not doing this on my own and throughout everything (including my upcoming work this weekend) I have had people by my side. I've been willing to ask for help and, thank God, it's been given without hesitation. My roommate will be caring for my pets tomorrow and has been helping me care for them over the last two weeks, but it is still anxiety-producing to leave them. And, to be quite honest, I have an irrational fear of the swine flu and am concerned about my health this weekend as well. I've chosen to pay for half of my room expenses so that I can have a hotel room to myself versus sharing one with another individual. I don't know whether I'm doing that so I can isolate or for my benefit, but it's set in stone at this point and I'm relieved. Physically, I don't feel well enough to "entertain" a roommate and would like my space. And, emotionally? Well, who knows. Suffice it to say that I have a lot of trepidation going into this weekend and I'm having to take a leap of faith -- not only about my "business" trip, but about my life now in its entirety.

I don't quite know what I am looking for from all of you. I am grateful for the many blessings in my life now and in the past -- it's just hard recognizing them at the present moment. Perhaps it was enough just to get everything that has been taking space in my head out on paper (so to speak). In truth, I don't feel particularly better, but I will get there. I know I will. Right?
 

catmom2wires

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2008
Messages
1,429
Purraise
212
Location
Texas
Wow, that sounds horrible. Glad they finally found out the problem before it was too late.

About that trip....I feel it's a very bad idea. If you are not cleared for "work" then, IMO, you are not cleared for "volunteer work" either. Please consider taking care of yourself and parking yourself on your sofa for the weekend.

Good luck.

Cally
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
First of all, I want to say I really admire your commitment to the volunteer work.
They are very lucky to have you, and it sounds like they know it. ...and I'm really proud of your not being too proud to ask for help. I know several people incapacitated by various conditions, and that can be an incredibly hard thing to do. But people who care about you WANT to help, and it makes people like me feel useful.

...as to your motivation on the not rooming with someone? It sounds like a wise decision, not a selfish or crazy thing at all. You need some space right now. Going up and down on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds like that is really hard on anyone. You're supposed to wean off of them, not just stop them. And you're still recovering with a weakened immune system - you need the rest. Just taking the trip is going to take it out of you.


As to the hospital? Did anyone ever apologize to you or anything? (Of course not). What a nightmare! My DH went improperly diagnosed for 7 years. Granted it wasn't anything critical like you experienced - but how amazingly frustrating to be labeled a drug-seeker and not be taken seriously. That's the worst part.


I'm so sorry for all you've been through, and I'm sending lots of hugs and vibes that you heal up soon, that your levels of everything settle, and that you feel yourself again ASAP.
 

catnurse22

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Mar 9, 2009
Messages
1,081
Purraise
1
Location
Shreveport, LA
I agree with Cally that the trip may not be in your best interest, even if the arrangements and your agreement to come are set in stone. You have to consider your physical and mental well being. But, if you must then you must and please take it easy when you can!

I hope everything smooths out quickly on all ends. I'm sure your mentally and physically exhausted. Have some you time. Watch a favorite movie and drink some tea. Call somebody who always makes you smile. Snuggle with your furbabies. I know how hard these times can be, especially if your anti-anxiety/anti-depressants schedule has been thrown out of wack. I know this is so much easier said than done, but try not to worry about everything. (If you're like me that is next to impossible, especially with so much on you plate). As you said you will get there.

Lots and lots and lots of coming your way!
 

snake_lady

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
7,218
Purraise
13
Location
ON./Canada
Oh Alision, I am so sorry for all you have went through. How scary.


I know you want to go on your trip, emotionally.....but.... like the other poster said.... It is too soon. Your fear of the flu, well, it is justified. You are in no physical shape to deal with another infection.

If you can, I would not do the trip. But if you do have to go, please try to take it easy...rest when you can, bring some hand sanitiser and do your best to take care of yourself.

You will get there Alision. You are a strong woman, with a LOT of fight left in you. Remember that it takes bout 2wks for the antidepressent levels to even out in your system and if I read right you haven't been back on them for 2wks yet. Keep hanging in there.... It will get better.
 

libby74

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
6,217
Purraise
18
Location
Illinois
I'm so very sorry you've been going thru such a rough patch in your life! Many, many healing coming your way.

And about that trip---there is no way you should be going. It doesn't sound as if you're ready physically; you don't want to end up back in the hospital.

I know this is for a not-for-profit organization, but you have to put yourself first sometimes, and IMO this is one of those times.
 

kittyl0ve4

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Sep 16, 2007
Messages
903
Purraise
2
Location
KiTTYDELPHiA, CATSYLVANiA
Wow. So sorry you had to go thru that, and thank GOD you are alive! What is wrong with hospitals these days? I had appendicitis and I went mis-diagnosed as well. The ER thought I was constipated, sent me home with milk of magnesia. Four days later I went to my family doctor (as advised by the ER), who sent me straight back to the ER, where they did a CT scan. That's when they said I had to have my appendix removed (it wound up rupturing right before I was taken into the OR). Before that day, I hadn't eaten for 5 days prior. After the surgery I felt nauseated whenever food was brought around, and would only eat small bites at a time because otherwise they wouldn't give me pain meds cuz they would make me sick w.o food in my stomach. I also lost a lot of weight during that time, and I was in the hospital for a week after the appendectomy bc they wanted me to eat a full meal and a bowel movement before letting me leave.

As well as that, I also know how it feels to be labeled a "drug-seeker". I have been on a mission to find a doc who will perscribe me medication that works for my pain. But, because of my age, they just think I am an addict looking to get high for $1. SO not true. I even had one doctor tell me they didn't care about my pain.

I'm sorry you went thru this, and I hope you start feeling like yourself soon. We are all here for you whenever you need to talk. And please, if you must go on this trip, take it as easy as possible.
 

marinewife05

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
380
Purraise
2
Location
Just outside of New Orleans, LA
Thank goodness they listened to that nurse. It's a good thing you collapsed at the hospital and not at home or on your way there. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I know how frustrating it can be for the doctors to not listen to you. With my last pregnancy I went to the labor and delivery and told them something was wrong...I felt like I was drowning. They told me I was just having Braxton Hix contractions and to suck it up. They were going to just send me home. Well after I fussed for a bit and swore something was wrong they checked my blood pressure. It was ridiculously high 200 over something. I had developed severe pre-eclampsia. Then all of the sudden I was surrounded by doctors and I was life flighted to a different military base to deliver. And all that could have been avoided if they had just listened to me in the beginning.

Seems like the same thing happened to you. When are doctors going to learn that we KNOW when something isn't right?
 

tierre0

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 17, 2007
Messages
7,256
Purraise
1
Location
on the shores of Georgian Bay
It sounds like you have had a very trying few weeks. All that is left now is to rest and regain your strength. I know that you feel that you have a obligation to your volunteer work and to your business trip but keep in mind that you have more of an obligation to your recovery at this point because if you don't give yourself time to heal you will end up sick again.
Perhaps the trip this weekend may not be the best idea and I am sure everyone involved will understand that your health needs to be in the for-front for now.
I hope you have a quick recovery and am sending along lots of vibes and prayers in your direction.
 

carolpetunia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 25, 2005
Messages
9,669
Purraise
17
Location
Plano, Texas
Alison, you are amazing! Despite that hospital's relentless incomptence, you saved your own life!
And although I completely understand how this horrible experience and all the drugs you had to take (and NOT take) have undoubtedly clouded your thinking, your post is nonetheless cogent and insightful. Clearly, your native intelligence is compensating beautifully.

You are back on your regular medications now, right? I surely hope so. I once quit antidepressants abruptly myself, and it wreaks havoc in every aspect of your being... so please be sure you stay on track there.

Have you seen your regular doctor since all this happened? It would be a good idea to have an appointment and just reconnoiter your situation with a doctor who knows you.

I'm so sorry you were treated so shabbily by this hospital. I'm sure the stress they put you through contributed to what you're suffering right now, and I do think they should hear from you about it -- eventually. But right now, I think you should try to put it all out of your mind, stay home from work, cancel the trip, and just be kind to yourself for awhile.

But if you feel you have to go on the trip, wear a facemask (and maybe gloves too), especially on the plane. If anyone is rude enough to question it, you can explain that you had surgery recently -- that's all they need to know.

By the way -- fear of H1N1 is not irrational. This is a scary, unpredictable virus that can kill very quickly. You're right to be concerned and cautious. We'd all be better off if everyone took this more seriously.

Bless your heart, I hope all this recedes quickly into the past for you, and you start feeling like yourself again soon. Take it as easy as you can...
 

strange_wings

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
Messages
13,498
Purraise
39
Do you have a good doctor who will listen to you now? I hope you do, because you may want to consider making sure everything is ok. Infection and then surgery takes major tolls on the body, sometimes it can throw hormones out of whack. It wouldn't hurt to make sure your thyroid is functioning properly and that your adrenals are supporting you properly. If these are not, no amount of antidepressant medication will fix it - you'll feel depressed, anxious, moody, and a lot of fatigue.




It's absolutely terrible that it took them so long to realize what was wrong - that it took you having extreme symptoms to make them do something. It's not like you had some rare disease or that the tests for it would have been difficult.
Thankfully they finally got it before it could have killed you.

That you can start feeling better soon.
 

addiebee

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 30, 2007
Messages
7,724
Purraise
17
Location
Michigan
Ah.... arrogant, non-thinking, non-feeling, textbook medicine. A million tests... but overlooking the obvious. Sigh.... I am sooo sorry for you. And of course, no one apologized for mistreating you, did they? I would write a letter to the hospital administration and file a complaint with whatever agency in your state oversees hospitals. Being accused of a being a druggie? Geez!!!


I also second and third the recommendation that you not go on the trip. I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy... and was back in the hospital a week later with a severe infection. I had bad abdominal pain for over a year after that...

I feel for you.
 

larussa

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
4,899
Purraise
71
Location
Central New Jersey
What a terrible thing to have gone thru, I'm so glad they found the problem. Like others mentioned, I would not travel right now. You really need to get your strenth back, I'm sure the others will understand. I'm sending lots of good vibes your way get better soon.
 

misty8723

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 16, 2006
Messages
7,688
Purraise
8,129
Location
North Carolina
Oh my God, What a nightmare. Thank heavens they found out in time what it was. I don't have any faith in the medical system anymore, espcially since my mom went for test after test after test over many years before they finally found something in September - too late -

that you feel better soon.
 

krazy kat2

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 14, 2001
Messages
8,085
Purraise
41
Location
Somewhere in Georgia
I applaud you for your dedication to your non profit work, but it sounds as if you may need to rest and recover instead of making this trip. I am sure they will understand.
Do you have a way that maybe you could attend via video or by phone? That would enable you to still do your volunteering and get the rest you need. It would also prevent you from being exposed to anything else in your still healing condition. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
 

oodlesofpoodles

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Oct 27, 2009
Messages
238
Purraise
1
Location
Philadelphia
Sometimes you just need to vent. It is completely understandable. As it stands, i am very glad they figured out what was wrong with you and wish you a speedy recovery. As for how you were treated in the ER...sadly i think it is the norm.

Last month my hubby to be was very sick. (he has type one diabetes and gastroparisis which causes sever vomiting) After 2 days of vomiting he was rushed to the ER in an ambulance. We were in the ER from 9pm until about 5am. they gave him the same meds they did you but for some reason it wasnt helping much. At the time his biggest concern was the vomiting and all he asked for was the anti nausea meds, but they gave him the Diluated too because after asked he did tell them he had a slight headache. Well after the anti nausea he kept vomiting, and his head ache kept getting worse. They took his tests and said all was normal and were about to just send him home (Like ERs ALWAYS do to him) well long story short, the ER doc decided he was a drug seeker bc he kept complaining about pain, but we refused to leave so he was admitted. But the doc would not give him ANY meds for ANYTHING after 1pm (and he didnt get admitted until 5am) Not even insulin though after having to HOUND the nurse she finally checked his blood glucose and it was in the hight 300s (it shouldnt be far above 100) Despite that they wouldnt give him more insulin. An hour or so after getting to his room the floor doctor came in and told us that his ER tests showed he was just barely in Diabetic Keytoacidosis(sp) And she needed to recheck to see if he needed to be in the ICU...he was, and spent 30 hours in ICU on an insulin drip. It makes me SOOOO mad to hear others are being treated this way. Yes i know SOME people are drug seekers, but people cant fake a bg level of 398, and cant fake a blood pressue level of 165/106 (high blood pressue can and is caused by pain).

The fact that they were about to just send you home AGAIN, even though you had legitimet pain just makes me sick...

Anyway sorry for my rant. I do hope you feel better very soon. As for your depression, it will get better once your meds are regular again. Your body has just gone through ALOT and so had your mind. Hang in there. it will be okay!
 

ink

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Oct 23, 2009
Messages
292
Purraise
1
Location
Kansas
I am so sorry you were treated that way by the hospital. My husband was labeled a drug seeker as well when he went in with back pain so bad he could barely move. He'd been helping a friend drywall and when they went to lift a piece of it my husband's knees just buckled and he was in severe pain. He's been complaining of back pain for some time but because at the time he was in his twenties, no one wanted to listen to him.

We finally got a doctor to listen and run tests and come to find out not only does he have degenerative arthritis in his back but he also had several herniated disks up and down his back.

My father-a smoker of 40 years-was told his chest pain was all in his head and that his heart was fine. Three months later he had a full blown heart attack and a quad by pass.
 
Top