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Cat & Husband

post #1 of 7
11/9/09 at 11:14am
Thread Starter 
My husband and I adopted a cat a few months back from a local shelter. He has come around a little but not a lot. What I mean by that is that the cat will come to me any time, but more when I'm either in bed or on the couch, mostly when my husband is at work. We both figure that he has attached to me faster because I am currently unemployed and am around the house all day. Which was fine. We keep thinking that he will come around to my husband sooner or later but has to do so. Any time he tries to go near the cat he runs from him as he did from both of us when we first got him. When we are in bed for the night he will come up on the bed and allow both of us to bet him, but still prefers to sleep next to me or on me. My husband has been feeding him and changing his litter box. We try to get the cat to come to him and he wont. My thinking and my fear is that he was previously abused by a male in his old home. He was surrendered to the shelter so they did not come in and take him. If anyone has any ideas on how to get the cat to come around my husband as well as myself. Any help is truly great! Thanks!
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post #2 of 7
11/9/09 at 11:25am
Cats are contrarians. In a room full of people, a cat will often head straight for the person that doesn't like cats. The theory is that the person who doesn't like cats won't look at the cat or try to attract his/her attention, so is the most intersting person to the cat. I do know that looking directly at a kitty is a sign of aggression in ferals - so until you know your cat really well, it's best to look at them on the forehead or over the top of the head.

I think your hubby should just keep up the good work as "caretaker." Talk to him quietly while feeding him - just talk about his day, whatever ...and otherwise completely ignore the cat. Tell him to pretend he could care less whether the cat likes him or not, and just pretend the cat isn't there. When kitty comes on the bed for snuggles, for the next few days, suggest he still pretend the cat isn't there.

Nothing gets a cat's attention (at least in this house) faster than ignoring them. Whenever we're feeling neglected by our kitties, we remind ourselves that instead of trying to pet them or brush them, we have to ignore them. Within a couple of days, they're all over us.
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post #3 of 7
11/9/09 at 11:44am
Do you know any history of your kittie? Perhaps he was badly treated by a man in the past and this is why he is a bit anxious around your husband which are your initial thoughts, he will come round in time and if you are at home with him all day then he is bound to be more affectionate around you.And welcome to the forum.x
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post #4 of 7
11/9/09 at 11:47am
I agree with what LDG said 100%....Im the cat lover in my house and my cats could care less half the time if Im even breathing..Bring BF in the house who could care less if they are there or not..They are all over him like white on rice its crazy! I even joke around with him that GiGi is jealous and doesnt want me near him because if I try and sit next to him she comes running and is all over him as if to tell me to "back off her man" Its the same with BFs dad and step mother they are allergic to cats and dont pay them any attention when they are here but sure enough even my shy kitty Hercules is out and about wanting attention from them!! Cats are so weird!
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post #5 of 7
11/9/09 at 11:59am
My hubby is not a cat lover and my cats don't go anywhere near him at all He is a grumpy so and so and they know it x
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post #6 of 7
11/9/09 at 3:07pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone! We are both cat lovers and we have tried to ignore him or at least I have which explains why he likes to then be a big pest. As for his past, we weren't really told anything about that, but the one thing that attracted my husband to him the most was that he is 4yrs old and has one ear that is bent at about a 90 degree angle. It gives him a curious look almost all the time. I am hoping that he will get better around him since he does try to ignore him, but it would help if Charlie decided to come out from hiding once in awhile when the husband is home. I know at night he likes to lay on me, but will sometimes lay with my husband when I am laying near the wall. All of your tips and advice has been helpful and hopefully in the long run will pay off. The funny part about him is that my dog is sadly scared of the cat. Charlie likes to be a brat to the dog and try to rub up against him knowing that it makes the dog run in circles to get away. They are crazy! Thanks again!
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post #7 of 7
11/9/09 at 3:37pm
Just in case you decide to check back in, if it is a case of having been abused by a male in the past, in addition to continuing to provide food & etc. for your kitty, perhaps DH should consider getting a couple of old t-shirts really sweaty. Put one under kitty's food dish and one in kitty's favorite place to sleep. If you want, he can get another one really sweaty, and after a play session with him, you can set treats down for him on that. He's already associating your DH with food, but the smell under his dish, under treats, and in his "safe" space (favorite bed) will help with the association of DH's scent with things he loves and places he's comfortable.
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