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I got bad news on Friday

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Friday, at work, I found out a good friend from high school died of a heart attack. He was 38. I work with his mom, and one of the supervisors told us that one of her son's died. I dated one of her sons and my best friend dated the other one...she didn't know which one had died. We all stayed friends after graduation and through college, although we have drifted apart the last few years. Finally, towards the end of the day we got confirmation that it was the younger son that went out with my best friend...not that that made it any better, but at least I knew who to mourn for.

I'm just in shock. He was a contractor for home improvements and didn't have any health problems. He celebrated his 38th birthday wednesday, and died on Thursday. He was engaged and had 2 young children. In fact, he had his 2 year old with him when it happened (luckily he was at his future MIL's house).

I am dreading going to the viewing tomorrow. DH can't get off work for it, so I'm going with a friend. I just don't know if I can handle it. It's just not right. And, it scares me. Sometimes I think people that don't let others into their hearts are the smart ones. I mean, I keep thinking how I would feel if I got the phone call telling me my husband just dropped dead. And, that's how his father died. He was fine one day then MIL found him dead on the floor the next morning. I've seen what she went through...I honestly don't think I could handle it. I'm not that strong.

John (my friend) was only 38!! DH is older than that. I know I'm being selfish being scared about that, but I can't help it. I know death is a part of life, but damn, it sucks.
post #2 of 9
I'm sorry I know how shocking it can be. My ex-husband was killed in a car accident 5 years ago. I took it very hard. Mainly for my daughter I had that whole "who's going to give her away" (at her wedding) moment. Sadly life can be short, shorter for some than others. All I can say is live life to the fullest because you never know when it will end.
post #3 of 9
OMG, I'm almost 38! That is way too young for a random heart attack like that!
My sympathies to you and your friend's family. Loosing someone at any age is hard, but when it comes out of the blue like this, it's even more difficult.
post #4 of 9
.......RIP to him.......
post #5 of 9
That is very sad. DH best friend growing up died at 34 of a massive heart attack. He seemed healthy. Active, not over weight. It turned out he had an unknown heart defect. It is hard to accept when they are so young.
post #6 of 9
I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your friend at such a young age. Sadly death is a part of life and those that are left behind have to deal with it the best way they can. I lost my first hauband John to a heart attack, he was 55 and never an ill day in his life, fit and strong, the shock of loosing him was the worst thing I will ever go through in my life, but you can pick up the pieces and go on. Just live every day to the full and enjoy the time you have here that is the only way to get through.
post #7 of 9
I am sorry to hear you lost a friend who was so young. A good friend of mine died suddenly last year at 34 leaving behind a wife & two young children. It's best to concentrate on the positives in life now rather than dwell on what may or may not happen in the future. The viewing & the funeral will be hard but it will mean so much to his family to see people that loved him there.
My husband was 16 when he lost his father in awful circumstances (not sure there are any other), his family have been through so much but always found the strength to move on. You will find that you are stronger than you realise.
Please remember that people who let others into their hearts are the smart ones.
post #8 of 9
I am so sorry to hear this, my condolences go out to all.
It is never easy to lose someone, but having them leave so young just hurts so bad. (I just recently had a friend die young from AIDS) Years ago, my brother died in a car crash at 28.
Never close your heart because of the pain you might feel, you will lose out on the joy that you can also feel.
I understand what you are feeling about not thinking you can go to the viewing. One of the hardest things I ever have done in my life was going to my Mothers viewing (she died young, at 52 from cancer) this was after being with her holding her hand as she took her last breath and being there for that. The viewing, then the funeral the next day just seemed so final, this was it, forever. I stood outside the funeral home for a half hour pacing and crying before I could walk in the door. She was my best friend in the world. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and we can get through these tough times.
post #9 of 9
First of all, I'm sending my condolences. I currently work at a nursing home and I have also worked at a couple of other medical facilities. I have seen such a huge amount of human death and suffering over the years that anything I say will come out sounding all wrong. So I just want to let you know that I will keep you and everyone else affected by this young man's death in my thoughts and prayers.
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