How do you talk to your cats? What odd things do you say?

I talk to my two constantly, I just generally chatter away at them. They do seem to understand some things by the tone of my voice. If Ripley is doing something she shouldn't I say 'Oi, Madam!' and she will stop & look at me as if to say 'So what are you going to do about it then!'.
Ripley will 'talk' back more than Newt, using different meows to get what she wants. She has a certain one that she uses when she wants treats & I often wind her up by saying 'What do you want' over & over while her meows get louder & more demanding!

My mom talks to our cats funny.

Lilly Tomlin. Remember when she played that little girl in a big chair and she sounded like she had a bad head "code" (cold). Well, that's how I talk to my guys. Don't ask why, I don't know. But if anyone asks me, I will deny I ever wrote this!

I talk to Amadeus as if he was a person.

I ask him questions and then assume what his answer would be and then usually continue a 'conversation' with him.

Example: Amadeus has a cardboard castle which he as been ripping apart and throwing the little pieces on the floor for my to clean up. I ask him why he is eating his castle, then I just start talking to him. He stares at me like I am crazy. Which I probably am.

There must be a time or two though, when one cat turns to the other cat with "Our humans are crazy. Do they not relize that we don't SPEAK human?"

Other cat: "True. But they DO feed us...and give us love'ns. So we should just nod and purr. It always works."

Originally Posted by Sumaii

I talk to Amadeus as if he was a person.

I ask him questions and then assume what his answer would be and then usually continue a 'conversation' with him

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Same with me. I am constantly asking them questions like "Whaaaa you doinnn?" or "Izza you hungry?". I can't say they respond to everything I say, but they do respond when I ask if they're hungry, or I'll ask them if they wanna eat. Most of the time, they look at me like I'm crazy. But, no matter what I am asking them, I always assume the answer, and continue conversations with them. Everyone in my house thinks I am crazy..

From what I read in this thread, seems many cat owners here do baby-talk to their cats. I always baby-talk to Ku Ku because she's my baby
I believe she understands what her meowmy says.

A little bit different subject but I've heard on TV about this tendency - cat owners often baby-talk to their kitties in sweet or calming tone.
Dog owners, however, tend to talk to their pooches in somehow commanding(?) tone.
Do any of dog owners here agree?

My family used to have a dog(male Akita) & 3 cats(all female).
The way my dad talked to them was very distinctive: he talked to doggy in a way he talked to me & my sister(aka, very commanding tone, lol) but when he talked to cats, he completely changed his tone & talked sooo sweetly.
(he never talked to me or my sister in such way, lol)
We used to tease him like "Dad, you must like these kitties better, don't you?".
His response was always, "They listen to me better than my daughters do."

The way i talk to Fae depends on both of our moods. Sometimes if she is being lovey i talk to her in a cooing voice and call her baby names (most often Faeffel (dont ask lol) but usually i talk to her like i to every one else...and then often she hears "PSSSSST get away from that window(or insert anything else she shouldnt be playing with here) Fae Bella!!!"

I have to admit to being one of those crazy people that talks to them like they are human. I tell them all the time how much I love them.
I sing to them too, but Maggie has a special song, "Who's the most beautiful girl in the world?" Then I raise her paw & say "I am".
I use comands like you would for dogs. Sit works for all of them as long as I have food in my hand. Isaac is somewhat picking up on Leave it. That's because he is a bully & when he goes to attack Levi, I tell him to Leave it.

I talk to Houdini all the time. When I come home I usually scoop him up and talk baby talk to him-like I would a child. LOL I usually say something like "Hiiii baaaby! Mama's home! Were you a good boy today? Did you give grandma any trouble? (Thats my aunt who "watches" him during the day and she has christened herself grandma to Dini. HAHAHA!)

I always ask him if hes hungry or has to go potty...or I tell him about my day. Tonight we watched the Packer game together and I kept complaining to him about the Vikings. LOL

When he is naughty for example when he bites me- (today he drew blood on my lip) I tell him Im going to sell him on Ebay if he doesnt behave himself. Everytime I say it he ***** his head and sometimes yawns like yeah right lady keep talkin......

One thing he does respond to is when I say give mama kisses he licks my cheek or nuzzles my lips.

We talk to the kitties all day long! We talk to them like we would little children, mostly, in higher tones and kind of baby talk or silly talk. But we do also talk to them like adults - usually when it's something like "Lazlo, what are you doing?" ...as he's starting to stalk Bill or something. That gets followed by "Don't even THINK about it!" ...and he sometimes listens.

I talk to them all, all the time. I usually ask them (the first time I see one of them in the morning or when I get home at night) "Hi Baby! Did you have a good day/night? I hope so! Every kitty should have good days/nights." ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (I think Trent wanted to type in his reply...he's still working on the typing skills )

I do think they understand us more than we give them credit for. Here's a good example. Ophelia decided that she really didn't like Annie and the other little girls and has lived up on top of our bookcase headboard since Annie came home. (It's not as bad as it sounds...she's got beds, food, water, litterbox, toys up there (it's big enough for all of it), and she does come down to snuggle Daddy a few times every day.) Recently she got brave and was coming down and even made it so far as coming down the hall and down a few stairs! GO OPHELIA!!! She even came down and across the room when ALL of the other cats were in the room. Oh gosh, I was so proud! But Daddy was freaking out because she was almost nose to nose with Ginger and since he wanted to go to sleep and not stay up to make sure everyone was nice to his Baby Doll, he picked her up and took her back to the top of the bed. She hasn't come back down, except for Daddy snuggles, since then.

So last night I had a little talk with her. I told her that we were both really proud of her when she came down, and we really wanted her to be a part of the family outside of the bedroom. And I told her that Daddy didn't mean that he wanted her to stay up there but he is just over protective of her and that's why he carried her back there. This morning...she came down and went into the window. I'm so proud of her!

I talk to my three an awful lot..most of the time to Shark and Arwen.

Hmm... I've been thinking about how I talk to mine and I apparently have different ways for each kitty!

Prissy gets spoken to in a very soft and gentle voice. I say things like "Hey sweetie, you're my girl aren't you? Pretty baby." and I say it very low and soft, almost a whisper. She is very gentle so I guess that's why I talk to her so gently. Lately I've gotten to asking her what I'm going to do without her and telling her not to leave me yet. I'm terrified that she's going to die soon, even though she's in great health, especially for an older kitty.

Cuddles gets the baby voice, probably because he's just a big cuddly baby. "Hey baby boy. You wants cuddles? Yes you do. You wuv da cuddles." Usually while he's giving me eskimo kisses or I've got my nose buried in his fur and he's just purring up a storm. :-)

Smudge gets a squeeky baby voice. He's just getting to where he demands the cuddlings. He usually cries loudly for a few seconds and I'll say "what wrong baby? It's ok Handsome" ANd he'll run up to me and flip over on his back, where I start rubbing his belly and his chin. "Oh my handsome wittle boy. Him so handsome. My wittle Smudgy boy. Smudgy smudgy!"

Ginger kitty doesn't get spoken to very much. The only thing she really responds to is "pretty girl". Every time I call her a pretty girl she comes to me for lovings.

Loudmouth pretty much gets spoken to in a normal voice. Well, when she's not getting told "NO!" and such.

All my cats respond to a few phrases though.

"Who wants outside? Outside?" gets them all running to the door.
"Who wants it?" gets them crying loudly as they form a circle on the kitchen floor, waiting for a plate.
"NO!" or "Eh!" makes them stop whatever they're doing.

And of course, anytime I lay down and cover up with a blanket, that must be some non-verbal signal to come pile up on Meowmy.

Originally Posted by Rang_27

I sing to them too, but Maggie has a special song, "Who's the most beautiful girl in the world?" Then I raise her paw & say "I am".

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Hey, I sing to both my cats too

Originally Posted by Crazypoh

I tell him Im going to sell him on Ebay if he doesnt behave himself. Everytime I say it he ***** his head and sometimes yawns like yeah right lady keep talkin......

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Crazypoh that's hilarious .... About once a month I joke with Daisy and say I'm going to eat her. I say "You're so plump I'm going to EEEAT you!" (for no reason either)

Originally Posted by KKH

My family used to have a dog(male Akita) & 3 cats(all female).
The way my dad talked to them was very distinctive: he talked to doggy in a way he talked to me & my sister(aka, very commanding tone, lol) but when he talked to cats, he completely changed his tone & talked sooo sweetly.
(he never talked to me or my sister in such way, lol)
We used to tease him like "Dad, you must like these kitties better, don't you?".
His response was always, "They listen to me better than my daughters do."

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Interesting. Maybe because cats are the little-est out of everyone in the house?

I always talk to my 5 kitties, I ask them questions (even though they look at me gone out lol) and whenever I see billy, I shout "Billy, billy, I love my baby billy billy) they think I am mad I am sure, my cat smartie I say "smartie farties having a party" omg, how mad I am

Originally Posted by valanhb

I do think they understand us more than we give them credit for. Here's a good example. Ophelia decided that she really didn't like Annie and the other little girls and has lived up on top of our bookcase headboard since Annie came home.

(It's not as bad as it sounds...she's got beds, food, water, litterbox, toys up there (it's big enough for all of it), and she does come down to snuggle Daddy a few times every day.) Recently she got brave and was coming down and even made it so far as coming down the hall and down a few stairs!

GO OPHELIA!!! She even came down and across the room when ALL of the other cats were in the room. Oh gosh, I was so proud! But Daddy was freaking out because she was almost nose to nose with Ginger and since he wanted to go to sleep and not stay up to make sure everyone was nice to his Baby Doll, he picked her up and took her back to the top of the bed.

She hasn't come back down, except for Daddy snuggles, since then.

So last night I had a little talk with her. I told her that we were both really proud of her when she came down, and we really wanted her to be a part of the family outside of the bedroom. And I told her that Daddy didn't mean that he wanted her to stay up there but he is just over protective of her and that's why he carried her back there. This morning...she came down and went into the window.

I'm so proud of her!

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I agree
Although they don't "speak" our language, I believe they do understand us, or try to understand us.

Originally Posted by c1atsite

Interesting. Maybe because cats are the little-est out of everyone in the house?

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That maybe the case.
My dad treated those kitties like "babies" since his "real babies" are all grown-up, lol.

I talk baby talk to them most of the time, but I also talk to them as if they were people. It's funny because sometimes I see Marshmallow out of the corner of my eye and call him "Daisy." Then I always apologize to him "I'm sorry, Marshmallow, I thought you were Daisy!"