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How does it make you feel when

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
You see a parent yell at their child in a public place? like wal mart/ the mall or any grocery store?? I have my times where I yell at home but I would never do it in public at all....I always feel bad when I do end up yelling, but my kids know I love em and always forgive me....It just gets really frustrating sometimes...
post #2 of 18
Since I work at WalMart, I see this MANY times a day. Sometimes the kids deserve it (to a certain degree), but most of the time those kids don't deserve being talked to like that. Many adults yell and scream at the kids none stop during their trip to Wally World. I can only imagine what it's like a home if it's that bad in public. Many times the parents talk to the kids like their adults. For example "How many damn times to I have to tell you I'm not buying you a toy?"...they are saying this to a 3 year old! A three year old has an attention span of zilch and they're expected to have the memory of a 10 year old. Plus, why do they have to cuss at them? You'd be amazed at what I hear Mothers and Fathers yell at their kids. They're harsh curse words! Usually the people that cuss at their kids like that beat the living crap outta their kids right there at Walmart! I mean beat them!

There was an incident a couple of months ago in our Store. We had to call the Store Manager on that incident who in return had to call upper management in our Region. A mother was shopping with her 3 year of daughter in the Electronics Dept. The kid is unruly, but having her Mom as a Mother I would to! The kid wouldn't sit down in the cart and after screaming for 10 minutes, the Mother pulled down the girls pants. She threw her over the CD rack and beat her butt until it was bright red! It was all on camera too! The Mom didn't care in the least...there were 4 employee standing in front of her!
post #3 of 18
When I hear a parent screaming at their kid in a public place I think; no wonder the kid is like that.
post #4 of 18
How ironic that I would get this email tonight. This poem is so unbelievably sad...it makes me want to cry! Break out the tissues, you're gonna need em!
My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

He blurts out ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.
post #5 of 18
OMG Shell, thats an awful poem - it gave me chills!

post #6 of 18
Thread Starter 
I have read this before Shelle, it is very sad..
post #7 of 18
Very sad!
post #8 of 18
My mom never spanked us in stores,she would leave her cart right there and take us to the car,and then we knew we were in for it when we got home!It only took 1 time for all 7 of us!I raised my kids and grandchildern the same way! I do not have to scream or spank any of them.
post #9 of 18
You should not have to scream at your children. My Dad and Mom had two different ways of raising us. My Mom would get so mad, she would scream at us. We knew she would not discipline us, so we ignored her. My dad on the other hand never raised his voice. I, to this day, can't think of a time when my Dad yelled at anyone. He would disipline us before he got angry. If we were making a fuss in a store, we were taken to the car and when we got home we would be disciplined. We were spanked very little in our lives, because our Dad taught us to obey. Also, spanking was used only for out and out rebellion. Since my Mom was a screamer, I determined that I would never be and so when I get really angry, I tend to talk through my teeth and control my voice.
post #10 of 18
Kids are spoiled brats in grocery stores. It irritates the living hell out of me when I see them doing whatever they want, running around the store screaming and the parent does absolutely nothing about it.

When I was growing up, there was no way I would run around stores like that. My parents may have yanked me back over to them and told me in my ear to knock it off, but they never shouted at me in public.
post #11 of 18
The sad thing is that there are pretty simple techniques to use with children that will make them behave while in stores. These techniques will work with even the rowdiest children, though with these wild kids it often takes several trips to the store before they learn. Parents are always amazed how well these simple techniques work!

Even after having worked with abused children and their parents for years now, it still breaks my heart to see this verbally abusive behavior. I know from my own research and my experience treating adults and children that the emotional abuse is often much much much more damaging than being hit.
post #12 of 18
I feel that a quiet reprimand is often more effective then screaming and it also teaches them better conflict resolution skills.
post #13 of 18
I don't like seeing parents yelling at or yanking theirs kids around, but I sure do wish that more parents would discipline their kids in general, and especially about how to behave in public. All I have to do is go to Wal Mart and I get a healthy dose of birth control! It's not the kids' fault that the parent lets them get away with murder until they get fed up with them.

At the same time, some people are a bit too rabid about how people treat their kids in public. I was shopping with a friend and her less than 1 year old son. He was going through a biting phase, and he leaned over and bit his mother HARD on the leg! She turned to him, wasn't angry, but gave a firm "No biting!" and tapped him on the mouth. She didn't hit him, and it didn't hurt him - it was just a tap so he would associate "no biting" with what he did with his mouth. Of course, he cried because he was in trouble, but I'm sure it was more because of the tone of voice than the tap. This older lady, decked in fur, made a bug huff and told my friend "That's disgusting. How can you treat your child that way?" in such a condescending tone. And yet there are people who are screaming and cussing and hitting - really hitting - their kids in public and no one says boo.
post #14 of 18
Heidi, I agree with you. One of the biggest causes of the rampant behavior problems we see in children is the lack of discipline or inconsistent discipline. Also, kids who aren't disciplined learn that they are the center of the universe and that it doesn't matter whether they are bothering (or hurting) other people as long as they are happy doing what they are doing. I sure wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one of these self-centered people once they grow up!

The sad thing is that parents often fail to discipline their kids because it is just too difficult to do so (at least they think it is too difficult). But little do they realize that their lives would be a heck-of-a-lot easier if they taught their kids how to behave. A little discipline right now saves a lot of headaches in the future!

And...discipline doesn't have to be harsh to work! For example, taking away nintendo for an evening can be pretty brutal for some kids, so it is an excellent discipline for these computer game freaks!

Oh, and those people who think that discipline damages a child's self-esteem...they are idiots! Without discipline and firm limits a child will never really learn what is right or wrong. This makes them self-centered little devil children who tread on others without batting an eye. Yes, their self-esteem might be high, but just because a child thinks he or she is hot sh#@ doesn't mean that they really are!
post #15 of 18
My mom was pretty hard on me when I was a kid. She was a young single mom without a lot and she lost her temper a LOT.

When I see kids getting yelled at like crazy it reminds me of being little, and not ever knowing what would set my mom off and being so helpless.

I've learned to step in, and maybe that's something that most people think isn't their business, but I've been really surprised by the results. For example several years ago I was in an airport and a lady was really hollering at her kids and seemed so frustrated. Well, I had a long layover, so I approached her and very politely said that she seemed really stressed out and if she'd like, I could watch her kids for a while and gave her my driver's license. I was so surprised, she broke down in tears and explained that she was so stressed, her father had died and she was having trouble with the airlines and she was really appreciative of my offer. I played cards with the kids for a while to give her a break and she was really grateful.
post #16 of 18
That is a very sad poem. It makes me want to go in my daughter room and wake her up just to tell her I Love Her.
post #17 of 18
So far I have only ever worked in places where families also venture. Not that this is a bad thing but I've seen things that I wish I had never seen.

I have witnessed one incident where a child was spanked in front of me while I was working in a well to do department store. I was shocked, the other ladies I worked with acted as if it was quite normal. I had to make an excuse to go out the back to recover. I then requested to never be placed in the Children's Department ever again and stated my reasons.

I have heard parents swear at their children and vice versa. I have witnessed family disputes in shopping centre malls. And now that I work in a pharmacy I've witnessed all this when people are feeling ill. And it all makes me feel the same, terrible.

If there was ever a reason for not having children it would be the customers that I serve. Why have children when you don't think that they deserve respect? Why have children when you can't demonstrate patience or basic parenting skills? Why have children if you want to blame them for your misfortunes? Why have children if you believe that they should only speak when told to and then only speak what you want to hear? Why have children if you do not understand the concept of unconditional love?

I don't know how this has all come about, nor do I offer solutions to help solve it. But surely it isn't just me saying "Enough is ENOUGH!" Perhaps everyone should go to parenting classes when they start considering having children. I don't know. Children aren't born spoilt, it is adults who spoil them.

It's late and I need sleep. I just hope I make some sort of sense.
post #18 of 18
I sometimes got yelled at in shops because I would open lolly packets and stuff and touch stuff that had signs saying Don't Touch! but I was never hit or hurt...

Michelle- I received that poem in an email a few years ago, it made me cry
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