Trapping for 2nd time?

Smart girl. She has indeed been taking lessons from her son!

So she IS playing!

Yup, things are changing.

All of her toys were again nowhere to be seen today after work. Found them in various places - under dresser, under bed stand, by my sleeping bag, and one by her food dish. Much more of an active kitty! 1 toy was even a bit roughed up!

Call me crazy, but I'm so happy she's playing! I truly thought she wouldn't ever be playing because of her age & life outside. I see it as a huge step for her being happier inside (which has plagued me for a while, worrying about her happiness level). There's some personal sadness right now in another area of life so it's nice to have something good going on to focus on.

Nothing else to report, other than me finally giving all those towels in there a washing. Need to vacuum up her cubby cube too. Batman's been scratching so going to be more vigilant in case there are lingering fleas (who knows when I would be able to Frontline her again!)

A couple months ago, I was playing with a wand toy and of course, it scared Patches. She's seen me and Batman play with wand toys, so I decided to try playing with her in her box. She's looking at it with interest, following it with her eye closely - the same way a lazy kitty will when they are watching a toy but not going for it. I have a feeling I may be able to get her to play with me sooner than I thought.

Batman had brought up 2 toys in the night to be around her door, and her toys were again scattered everywhere - and one was right by screen (for Batman). So darn cute... I can't believe she's playing! I may have to buy her some new toys soon.

I wonder if she likes catnip?

Oh such a relief for you I can imagine!

Boy I wish I could see what they are up to!

I was in her room at 7:45 to feed her (and dig up the toys). By 8:15, all the toys were again scattered. I didn't see her playing, but that's pretty brave of her to be playing when the people are getting ready for work.

Batman was using one of her scratching posts last night and she was watching - hopefully she'll figure out what they're for! (No idea if she understands or not.)

I had a different wand toy out last night and she did actually sniff it. Usually she's a statue cat. She's definitely starting to come around.

So here's a big question I'd like your opinions on - when Patches is worm-free (will find out 3/6), should I let her have free roam in the house? Or should I keep her in the guest bedroom for a while longer until she is playing with me, etc? I'm sure the guest bedroom will be her safe little haven, but boy, I bet those two would have fun at night tearing around the house together.

My opinion: that room could be her safe zone for a long time. If you were to open up the door, she may venture out when you are not home, but I wouldn't leave a door open to a room with a bed. I had a similar situation as yours many years ago with a girl by the name of Emily. When I left her safe room door open, she wandered into our guest bedroom and decided that under the bed was her new safe zone. Took me months to get her our from under there and we lost a lot of ground. The last thing I wanted to do with her was to chase her out from under that bed, as that would have scared her.

Way cool that she is playing with her toys. I would try a catnip toy with her if you haven't already done so. Catnip might actually relax her a bit.

What happens if you let Batman spend the night? Not something I ever thought about before......

I love that she's playing so much!!!!!!!!! That is really progress!

Hmmmm. I'll have to think about all of that. There is a couch that Batman can dive under if he gets a good running start. I could probably put some junk under it to keep her out from there, hmm.

A few of the toys she has are catnipped - I'll need to get her some more. Get her all drugged up.

Last night was a bit different than the past week. She was in her cubby cube most of the evening and seemed very tense and not relaxed (due to cube size and feeling exposed, I'm sure). Didn't eat her treats either. I was a bit surprised she stayed in there so long - she had plenty of opportunity to hide in her box when no one was around. Batman and I didn't spend too much time with her last night because I just didn't think it 'felt' right.

This morning things were a bit interesting. Right after I took care of her food/etc, I usually leave to take a shower. This time for some reason, I went back to the hallway (broke her routine) - and she was at the door and then scuttled back to her box. So that means within a minute of me leaving, she had gone to the screen door for some reason (with no Batman around). 15 minutes later, Batman was going nuts, and I looked out to see 2 toys of hers close to the screen door and her little head out of the box watching us. She just watched us for a while, didn't hide back in the box.

Happy Friday all!

So she is totally comfortable being out and about now! I mean - not with people around - but still - that is FABULOUS!

Last night, one of her toys somehow got out of the room - I guess she either brought it or hit it to the screen door and Batman pulled it out from beneath the door. It was her favorite toy (or I interpret as such because it's the most 'beaten up' of the toys). Very cute if she's sharing with Batman.

There are times when she seems very relaxed and other times when her eyes are huge when I'm around in fear and she may hiss at me when I put her treats down. But I think things are going great! She is definitely becoming friends with Batman. He gave her a bunch of licks this morning - so cute.

Has the "tone" of the hiss changed at all from when she was first there? Is it more of a "stay out of my space" kind of hiss? Or the angry - KEEP AWAY FROM me hiss? Or do you even notice a difference?

Hmm hard to say, but it's definitely less intimidating than her hiss at the vets. She's not super hissy with me - probably only had her hiss at me a dozen times the past few months honestly, but she's hissed more at me the past month than the first 2 months, that's for sure. Her hisses are super quiet. She even did a 'half' hiss last week where she opened her mouth but no hiss came out. I think Batman's antics in the room sometimes can add to the stress when he's being crazy and playing near her box where she can't see, so I'm going to watch that more.

The way you've described it it sounds to me like it's just that she's getting more comfortable in her space. That's a good thing.

Batman's been getting a little rough with her, I believe. When he goes in to greet her, he darts into her box like normal, gives her a lick on the head, but he's getting a little more rough with it - kind of chewing on her neck... flipping himself on this side, playfully biting? She usually just takes it and I saw her almost licking him back a little yesterday. But it quickly goes from licks to playful looking bites to a little more aggressive and forceful and I'm worried he's going to hurt her. This morning he was being rough and next thing I know she hisses at him and he runs out of the box and she is very alert and sitting upright instead of laying down. Then he wanted out of the room. (Go figure, a minute later he wanted back in...)

Should I do anything about this rough play? Or just let them work it out? I figure some nipping is fine and what may look rough to me isn't actually rough.

This morning my husband saw Patches for the first time since our vet visit in December. Batman was outside the screen door, and Patches was walking from her box to see Batman - but then my husband left the bathroom and I guess they both didn't know what to do. I wasn't around to tell my husband to ignore her and go on his business, so they both froze not knowing what to do until Patches turned around and went into her box. He knows not to stare her down but he may have forgotten. So she is coming out more when we are home and making noise in the morning before work to see Batman. And I guess she forgave Batman for being a little rough on her.

Patches knows the sound of the treat bag now. Maybe she always did, but I've caught her licking her chops a little when I get/shake the bag. She won't eat with me in the room yet so I have to have Batman out of the room before I give her treats (or else he eats them all) but she is definitely a smart kitty and figuring out things. I'm glad she is liking Batman even if he annoys her at times.

I don't think I'd worry about Batman being too rough - as you can see she'll take care of it when he's crossed her limit.

Batman is still bringing her toys to the screen door - he brought up 3 last night. But the past couple days, he really has been rough (imo) on her and I don't think she's appreciating it. She's starting to growl and hiss after a minute or so, when it's getting a little rougher, then he will dart out finally and leave her alone - and then she will seem agitated and not be sitting down, but more half standing, half sitting, basically ready to flea I suppose. I am worried he is just pushing her buttons too much. He always wants to go in there and he goes right in her box, will lick her for a bit, then starts to nip around her neck then will try to play. I don't want him to hurt her, or have her hurt him back, or have their relationship be ruined by this. Ugh!

I kinda figured this would happen since he's so playful and I'm not sure if she wants to play like that. Just not sure what to do? I may be worrying too much, but I really don't want him to ruin the budding friendship. I'll try to get a good look at her ears/tail postures next time they're doing this - but I'm trying to keep my distance in case someone darts out (don't want to get scratched on accident)

Hope this makes sense. I can give you a play by play of how the encounters usually go as far as who does what and how the other reacts.

I am feeling unsure about how he's interacting with her. Tonight he ran in, went to her box, and went for the neck nips. I think it's a playful stance but she does not like it. Her ears go back and she does 'talk' to him, and she'll nip him back, hiss, mrow at him. It got escalated to the point where she was on her hind legs and looked quite perturbed... I got worried. Tried to make a loud noise to stop them. Batman eventually left the box and I got him out of the room. He had some slobber on his neck from her nipping him. I just don't feel good about this. I know they have to work things out, but it seems he wants to playplayplay (rough) and she just does NOT want to.

Then he still cries outside her door at times after he is locked out of her room. And he'll bring toys to her. And she'll bring toys to his side of the door.

Just confused. Anything I should do?

Edit: I guess I'm confused why it went from him being cute and licky with her to wanting to play rough like this.

Oh the joys of interpretting cat behavior when we are not cats!

I'm trying to put myself into Patches paws here. I'm inside a house with still somewhat scary humans, and my safe zone is a box where a cat that smells suspiciously familiar is coming in and wanting me to have a thing called "fun". I'm not familiar with this concept of fun as I've lived my life outside just trying to survive. I tolerate this cat because I'm pretty sure he's my son, but 1) he's old enough that he should be respecting me by now, and 2) I'm still not entirely settled in my environment.

(back to myself) It's clear to me that there isn't that much friction between them or it would be very obvious to you. I've witnessed knock down drag out cat fights and until you see it happen, rough play does look like a fight.

If it were me, I'd continue giving them the chance to interact, and I would go so far as to let them have that interaction with me outside of the room to see what Patches would really do. She's holding back on her real interactions with him while you are in the room, so it's hard to judge her real behavior here. I'd give that a try and if the interaction becomes more violent, then slow down with their interactions and go back to scent swapping and other things.

Hi,
I spent the last two nights reading your entire thread. I find it very interesting and once I got started I couldn’t stop. I didn’t notice until last night that we are more or less in the same boat as per feral cats, with your beautiful Patches a 3-yr feral female and my Tabby a 4-yr old feral tom. Both captures are about the same time. I see you are running into a snag with the interact of sweet Batman and momma Patches.

My first impression of both in the hide box at the same time looks to me as Batman standing over Patches whether licking or nibbling on Patches neck looks to me as a dominant posture. Patches has to be a very sweet kitty to just sit there at first. I don’t think my Tabby would have tolerated that from the beginning. That could get more heated as Patches tolerance gets less and less.

I have some comments and suggestions about the interaction of your two kitty’s, your room setup, hide box use and location and the interaction of Patches with yourself. But first I would like just a little info on your feeding routine of Patches. Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying to help and just offering my experiences that I have in the past with Saddie, a female semi-feral of last year and her four kittens, and Tiger my sweet shy stray of a year before last. I know you and this wonder group have come up will great ideas and suggestions over the past four months. Some like LDG have helped and commented from day one. Gosh you guys must have typed a million words.

What I find so interesting is that I am going down the same bumpy road as you are with Patches and I’ve picked up many useful ideas from you guys. But if you could answer a few questions it would help in my comments. Thanks.

1.) Do you feed Patches the same food morning and evening assuming you feed twice a day?

2.) Is the food mixed canned and dry or on or the other?

3.) How close to the hide box do you place the food bowl usually.

4.) Do you encourage Patches to come out and eat by talking to her until she comes out to eat and from what distance to the food bowl?

5.) When do you give Patches her treats. Is it the same routine as with the food as for distance to the treat site and the voice encouragement?

You have done a wonderful job in taming your feral and the socializing with Batman her son. These feral’s are so wonderful and their interaction with us is so precious. Understanding and patience are key. For me the understanding is the hard part as far as patience I just look at it as an on going journey of loving these wild kitty’s for a lifetime.

I think I can help you or at least give you a different slant to your process as I see it. I’ve learned so much from Tabby and he has come so far as did your Patches, that I would like to share my experiences with you. I think both of our kitty’s are so much alike that we can benefit from sharing our adventures. I know I’ve enjoyed your thread immensely so far.