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Helpplease: Have I Done The Right Thing

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Hi, I am very new here, but I am looking for some reassurance please.

My old Tom cat (22 years old)yesterday morning, suddenly started to walk off balance and had to lean on furniture to hold himself up. I put this down to him just being wakened, and still a little stiff and tired.
This worsened as they day went on, he seemed normal, bit quieter than normal, usually very loudly vocal. He tried to jump up on to couch but couldn't get himself up and didn't seem to have the strength to hold on, he fell backwards on to the floor and keeled over. He did it again a couple of hours later, very distressing to see this, and I didn't get to him on time to stop it.

I was very worried about him as his little wife last year had the same symptoms and I left it too long before seeking advice and had to have her put to sleep, I really regret not doing something sooner.

I went to the vet and we had a chat about it, I had it in my head that he was going to be put to sleep. The vet said that she could give him a steroid injection, which would give him a month or so. To be honest I wasn't really listening to what was being said, basically she was letting me make the decision. I chose to have him put to sleep, and now I don't know if I made the right decision, as I don't really know what was wrong with him, as I was too upset.
I was afraid of him jumping up on something while I was out and hurting himself and being in pain.
I think all I am trying to do here is relieve my conscience, I feel i took the decision too lightly, and feel very guilty.
A vet wouldn't have let me put him to sleep if he was still fairly healthy would they? I feel so wracked with guilt, as perhaps he would have a a few more months, and now I wont ever know.
I'm sorry for the long post, but I fel I have to get all of this out.
Thank you for reading
post #2 of 10
I think you'll find that everyone here will tell you that you did the right thing for your cat and not to beat yourself up about it which is hard I know. It doesn't sound like you took the decision lightly at all, you obviously thought it through! 22 is a great age and it sounds like he was and is very much loved which is why you did what you had to do.

I'm sorry for your loss.
post #3 of 10
So sorry about your cat.
You did the right thing.
I have felt the same way after having cats pts.
post #4 of 10
Oh I'm so sorry for your losses. It must have been very hard on your old boy when he lost his beloved companion. That he lived to be 22 is a testament to your excellent loving care.

I am not a vet, but have experience with stroke in cats, and what you describe sounds like stroke to me.

We love our pets so much, and do everything we can for them, and that includes giving them passage to the other side with dignity and love. It's not called the Final Kindness for nothing.

You are in shock now, it's terrible to lose him so suddenly like that. It's terrible even when it's expected. And so soon after the other. Please try not to castigate yourself, you did the right thing, what was best for him.

Think about this, he is at peace now. There is nothing that can hurt him, he is not in any danger, he will never know suffering, all because you cared enough to let him go. It's the ones left behind who have to suffer.

My deepest sympathy to you at this time.
post #5 of 10
Stroke would be my first guess, too. I'm not sure how a steroid would help that much, so I could be wrong.

Twenty-two years is an amazing age (although no record), so you clearly gave him excellent care for him to live so long.
post #6 of 10
I am so sorry for your loss.

I had to have my girl Heidi [14 years old] put to sleep in January of 2008 and it was a very hard decision. They told us basically the same thing, that they could give her some shots/meds to allieviate the pain for awhile but nothing long term. They said that she was going downhill [she had several tumors and was no longer urinating or eating regularly]. It was hard at first because I thought we could have kept her around longer but we didn't want her to suffer any longer. She is in a better place and I feel at peace with my decision now.

Your cat lived a very long and surely happy life and now is in a better place where nothing can hurt him and he can be happy and peaceful. Time will heal the pain and he will live on in your heart.

Love, Hugs, Kisses and Cookies <3
post #7 of 10
I am sorry about your loss; it is never easy and not an easy situation to deal with, even if we think we're prepared.

Originally Posted by weejeannie View Post
I chose to have him put to sleep, and now I don't know if I made the right decision, as I don't really know what was wrong with him, as I was too upset.
I had similar feelings with one of our "old girls" Mitzi, three years ago.

It was tough, I knew we did the right thing but IMHO it is natural to question the decision (the odd time, to this day, I still do), even if we know it was the only real choice. If we didn't care so much I guess it wouldn't bother us.

I have found time puts things in perspective and now I think more of the good life Mitzi had and how entertaining and happy she was. I hope that point arrives for you, in time.
post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thank you all so much for your advice and good wishes, I am starting to feel slightly better, though missing him terribly, even although he drove me mad with his relentless wailing. Then I feel guilty for shouting at him for making so much noise.

I'm sure I will feel better so and less guilty. Thank you all again for your help.
post #9 of 10
Sweetie, please don't beat yourself up or second guess yourself. He had a long, much loved life, and it sounded like it was time for him to go. As tough as that is, (and I do not mean to sound harsh in any way) sometimes we just have make the hard decision for the good of our beloved cats. My dear Fred, who was with me for 18 years went through several strokes, and the day came when he had no more quality of life. Letting him go was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it was his time.
I am so sorry for your loss.
post #10 of 10
I am so sorry for your loss.

When I lost my little girl in July, the vet also offered me the steroid shot, in her case to give her a few days. I realized he was doing it for ME, not for her, and declined. I sent her to the bridge that day.

You did the loving thing, and absolutely did the right thing. We should all be so lucky to have someone in our lives who is able to look beyond herself and help us end our earthly journey.

Take care of yourself.

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