Goodbye my dear Casper

phendric726

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I few months ago I wrote about Casper in the Feral cats forum... he was sick, really sick. On October 12th 2009 at 12:48pm I made the ultimate decision to let him go. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, to hold him as they injected him. I wantedto yell out for the vet to stop, to please save my baby, But I knew it was time.

There is a baby gate at the bottom of the basement stairs where our beedrooms are (To keep the dog down with us) On Sunday I worked overtime, before I went to sleep that afternoon Casper made a trip down all by himself and jumped the gate. He came and laid with me. I petted him as I drifted off to sleep and then he left me and went to my moothers room where all the other cats and Lucky could come visit. (There are several cats who stay only downstairs, by their choice) When I got home Monday morning he was back upstairs, mom said he had come up all on his own. He laid with my calico Bozo. We played the food game: Come on Casper you know your hungry, Just one bite for mommy... He was so weak.

I took the Hubby into work and when I got home mom told me that he was having a hard time. I went and sat with him. His breath was so labored, he looked so weak. I made the call. The vet was amazing and made it to the house within a half hour, Casper held on.

As I lay listening to his heart beat, so strong I had to question myself only long enough to look in his eyes..." I've tried so hard" he said to me. "I gave you all I had left, that one last summer you begged for. Please now let me rest, Im so tired, I'll wait for you." As the vet injected him my mother held his head, I cried, I wanted to leave the room, not let him see, I stiffled my tears the best I could petted him one last time and told him to let go. I will be ok I said, you rest now, there will be so much to do when I join you, go play and run and be free and healthy again, I will miss you and love you forever, But I understand you must go.

Im heartbroken. It hurts, I cry. I know It was best for him, I just hurt for me. I know that, but it doesnt make the tears stop...
Casper was never a misbehaived cat. He never once scratched the furniture or sprayed the house, he didnt fight with the other cats, he always shared his food and treats and loved to cuddle with me most of all, casper would sit anywhere to be near me. I will never forget what an amazing creature he came to be in my life.
Goodbye my most amazing being, my most wonderful cat, You taught us all so much. Rest in peace my sweet king, and know that forever you will be, my most loved Casper.
 

farleyv

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Oh I am so sorry to read your post, but what a lovely tribute to a cherished friend. Take comfort he knew he was loved and left the world knowing only love, gentleness and kindness. He never wanted for anything. You took good care of him. You will be with him again. He will play over the bridge but will watch for his loved one to come along someday. God speed to you and God bless little Casper
 

ldg

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Oh no - I was hoping this wouldn't come so soon!


Casper was a very lucky kitty to have you in his life - as you were all so lucky to have him in yours. What a beautiful tribute - your love just pours out of every word.

Casper is an angel, playing like a kitten again over the rainbow bridge. He'll be so happy to see you again.


RIP, sweet King Casper.
 

eilcon

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I'm so sorry for your loss.
RIP sweet Casper, knowing you were loved.
 

zohdee

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Call me silly but I believe that spirits come back. You will be reunited with your dear Casper, I am sure of it.

*Hugs* to you
.
 
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phendric726

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Ive been trying to upload a few of the last pictures I have of my beautiful boy, not sure what the problem is but they won't load....
 
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phendric726

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I got Caspers ashes back today, I cried all the way home... I miss him so much. The package is very nice, they took a cast of his paw and a clip of his fur. i want to put it in a place of honor, like his favorite sleeping spot on the tv but I'm not sure Im ready yet. I have a cousin who makes ceramics who offered to make something memoriable with a bit of his ashes... maybe later when I can bare to think about my sweet boy without crying for another hour... His vet made a donation in his name to the feral program in the area, I think thats purfect for his memory. I know this pain has to lessen, But with Halloween on its way (casper loved Halloween) its hard for me to think that i will ever feel any better. I just feel like there is a whole in my soul....
 

carolina

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I am so very sorry for your loss... I was going to bed when I read this post... Now I am here crying like a little baby... So sad... You love him so much... But he is there with you, I know he is, he will always be... he is now your angel, with you wherever you go, always by your side, all yours, always, forever and ever looking after you until you get together again...
So lay his ashes where you can see them for tonight if that comforts you... but know that was not good bye... that was see you later
 
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phendric726

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yesterday I pulled the mail and had received a birthday card for Casper from one of the stores we frequent. I broke down in tears, its the little things that do it. Ive never felt so alone as I did when I lost Casper, and although I know all the cliches, hes in a better place, he doesn't hurt anymore, I miss him terribly. The card made me think off all the birthdays we did get to share, and how lucky I am to have had him in my life, and also How sad I am that he is gone. We recently found out that the test on Callie (one of Casper's first girlfriends he brought home before we understood TNR) was a false negative and she does have Feline Leukemia, she's now anemic as well and she hasn't taken food in over 24 hours. I'm scared we may lose her too... such a hard 6 months its been...
 
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