Desperate--very desperate-- for advice!!!!

meminikitty

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History is not very fun at all! We switched seats on Thursday and so I'm next to this guy named Mike. Well! Last year, Mike liked me and tried to make it clear to me that he did, I told him off because I'm not interested in dating guys at the moment, and his feelings got hurt. Last year, he would stare at me A LOT so I moved seats and ever since then, thank goodness, he never spoke to me again. Well, now it's a new year and I'm seated next to him in history. At first it was normal, and so whatever. But on Friday, he faced me and stared at me without blinking and just kept looking at me! I think he's trying to annoy me and it was very hard to concentrate. Very hard. He looked like a fish lol. I can't keep going on like this if he's going to do that staring business! Why the hell is he doing this and what can I do to make him stop this immature stuff? It's not like we're in 3rd grade--he should be more mature by now! Sorry for the rant but he's really bugging me with this staring business and it's creeping me out.
 

rachelh1018

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It sounds like Mike wants to annoy you. Whatever the reason may be, if you want it to stop, don't give him a reaction. Guys wait for a reaction, and if you don't give him one, he'll get bored and stop. I know it sounds odd, but it works.
 

starryeyedtiger

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Curious what grade you're in?


If the seating is assigned, just talk to your teacher before class and let he/she know what is going on. See if your teacher will allow you to move seats. Good luck!
 

sandtigress

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Really, he's the one who's going to be looking stupid if he's just going to stare at you and look like a fish when everyone else in class can see him....

I would ignore him and let your revenge be him making a fool out of himself, if this is all that he does. Past that, yes, talking to your teacher is a good idea.
 
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meminikitty

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I'm a sophomore.

I want to talk to the teacher... but I don't want to make a big deal out of it like last time when I switched to a new seat.

I'll ignore him..how long do you think it'll take for him to get the message?
 

badgeygirl

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That young man is treading a fine line. Most schools have harassment and bullying policies. If he is making your learning environment uncomfortable there you should definitely talk to the teacher. Tell her you don't want to move right away, but for her to see if she can see what he's doing and ask if it's harassment. He could be the one that gets moved. Or some Major detention.
 

natalie_ca

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Sounds to me like he still really likes you. It's typical of a young man to act like a jerk and tease and pester a girl that he likes.

Unfortunately you don't share his feelings.

The best thing for you to do is to talk to him. Invite him to sit with you for lunch and have an honest talk. Tell him that you like him as a friend, but you aren't interested in getting into a relationship with him or anyone else because you want to concentrate on your studies.

I seriously doubt that he's staring at you and making fish faces in order to harass you. I remember being your age
And his behaviour really sounds like he's trying to catch your attention, even if he's going about it in what you consider a really strange and uncomfortable way.
 
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meminikitty

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Sounds to me like he still really likes you. It's typical of a young man to act like a jerk and tease and pester a girl that he likes.

Unfortunately you don't share his feelings.

The best thing for you to do is to talk to him. Invite him to sit with you for lunch and have an honest talk. Tell him that you like him as a friend, but you aren't interested in getting into a relationship with him or anyone else because you want to concentrate on your studies.

I seriously doubt that he's staring at you and making fish faces in order to harass you. I remember being your age
And his behaviour really sounds like he's trying to catch your attention, even if he's going about it in what you consider a really strange and uncomfortable way.
Oh! I guess that makes sense, but shouldn't he be over it if its been a whole year?! Also, I'm not good at talking with guys.. lol.. kind of weird, I know but it makes me really nervous. So I wouldn't really exactly know what to tell him. Help?


Forgot to add: I don't think he ONLY likes me, if that's the case. He flirts with A LOT of girls and pesters them in other classes. But I'm the only one who gets those freakish stares.
 

kiwideus

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If you are having issues at school, we cannot really help you here. It is best if you talk to a teacher or a school counsellor.
 
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meminikitty

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Originally Posted by Kiwideus

If you are having issues at school, we cannot really help you here. It is best if you talk to a teacher or a school counsellor.
?
All I need is advice and that's what I've been getting. I consider that some great help right there.. and I wouldn't exactly call this an issue, with something to inform the counselor about. I just need advice on how to get him to stop staring.
 

kiwideus

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Originally Posted by meminikitty

?
All I need is advice and that's what I've been getting. I consider that some great help right there.. and I wouldn't exactly call this an issue, with something to inform the counselor about. I just need advice on how to get him to stop staring.
But you do have to understand that there is only so much we can do from here. Personally, if it happened to me, I would just report it to a person of authority.
 
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meminikitty

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Originally Posted by Kiwideus

But you do have to understand that there is only so much we can do from here. Personally, if it happened to me, I would just report it to a person of authority.
So you don't think just ignoring him would work? (just curious)
 

yosemite

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The only thing I can add is that if you are as "desperate" as your title implies, then you really need to take this to someone in authority at your school. But if you are "sort of" enjoying the attention, then just leave it be.
 
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meminikitty

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Originally Posted by Yosemite

The only thing I can add is that if you are as "desperate" as your title implies, then you really need to take this to someone in authority at your school. But if you are "sort of" enjoying the attention, then just leave it be.
Enjoying it?! omg no!
Trust me, NO. haha
no idea what would make you think that!

I want him (desperately) to stop but I don't want to make a big fussy deal about it.
 

strange_wings

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If the two of you share mutual friends, you could have a friend talk to him. Otherwise let your parents know there is a problem and talk to you school counselor. I don't think a big deal needs to be made of it, but if you're uncomfortable do try getting someone to help.
 
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meminikitty

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

If the two of you share mutual friends, you could have a friend talk to him. Otherwise let your parents know there is a problem and talk to you school counselor. I don't think a big deal needs to be made of it, but if you're uncomfortable do try getting someone to help.
Thanks! I'll do that!
 

nekomania

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If after a year ignoring him hasn't worked then no...I don't think it's going to work, especially if you're seated so close to him.



Kids are beyond picking on their crushes these days, it sounds to me like he's just being a grade 'A' jerk and you should at the very least request a different seat from your teacher.

If it were me, I would go to my school counselor and swap the classes around for a different hour if possible.
 

esrgirl

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You've already told him that you aren't interested. I would most certainly not invite him to lunch , speak to him, or stare back at him. This will only encourage him. I would see if you can get your seat reassigned and completely ignore him. If he continues I would tell someone. I wouldn't call this normal boy/girl crush behavior- it's just weird!
 
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meminikitty

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Originally Posted by esrgirl

You've already told him that you aren't interested. I would most certainly not invite him to lunch , speak to him, or stare back at him. This will only encourage him. I would see if you can get your seat reassigned and completely ignore him. If he continues I would tell someone. I wouldn't call this normal boy/girl crush behavior- it's just weird!
It was so weird today that my teacher caught him and asked him to stand outside. When he was allowed back in, he didn't stare as much but did sneak glances every five minutes.

Although I am happy he got caught!


I still think I want to move seats though.
 

babz

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This guy is creepy. I would in no way talk to him. It's not going to work with this one. I also wouldn't want to make a big case out of it since I find him so creepy and I'm not even there with you. I would just tell the teacher that you need to be moved closer to the front to see that board or hear her or something like that. If you don't want to be up front then tell the teacher that it is to cold or hot where your sitting and pick a different seat. I would just want to sit in front instead of in back of him so he can't continue to turn around and stare at you.
 
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