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Performace evaluations (joke)

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
This one really cracked me up! I can apply some of these to people I know!
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee
>>performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
>>(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock
>>has started to dig."
>>(2) "His men would follow him anywhere ...but only out of morbid
>>(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
>>(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more
>>of a
>>definite 'won't be'."
>>(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a
>>in a trap."
>>(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
>>(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
>>(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
>>(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
>>achieve them."
>>(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
>>(11) "This employee should go far, ....and the sooner he starts,
>>(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
>>(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary
>>(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
>>(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>>(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
>>(17) "He's been working with glue too much."
>>(18) "He would argue with a signpost."
>>(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
>>(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
>>(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>>(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,.....he's
>>other one."
>>(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
>>(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
>>(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
>>(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
>>(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for
>>(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
>>(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
>>(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
>>(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to
>>(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
>>(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;..... he only
>>(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
>>(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead
post #2 of 6
LOL! How very sarcastic!
post #3 of 6

Very funny! Thanks for the laugh!

Tammie <<Catin' around the boards trying to get to Adult Cat. WOW.. I think this will do it!
post #4 of 6
Those are great!
post #5 of 6
LOL!!! That cracks me up!
post #6 of 6
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