Soo this thursday is my 21st birthday, and one of my good friends asked me to go to a party, she has asked me to go with her many many times but I always make excuses..I'm not a social person and I am afraid that I will find myself being bored there or irritated that I can't just be alone.. I'm really introverted. Soo I can't find an excuse now, she wanted to take me out somewhere for my birthday and this month has been hell for me, I broke up with my boyfriend and ever since then I've been extremely sad all the time, I've been really quite pathetic. Soo I'm trying to push myself to go. Well I really have no way out, if I don't go I will mess up my friendship with her because she will think I don't like hanging out with her or that I'm weird..I don't know I always need to make stupid excuses with my friends about why I dont' want to go with them to social events. I really just don't like social events. And they don't understand, they look at me with such confusion and ask "but what else are you going to do??"..so I just say, I have homework or something when I really don't, I just don't like being anywhere with a large group. I feel like I don't get to communicate with people there but rather with the facades they are trying to put on. Maybe this won't be the same..I really hope so. But am I so wrong to be feeling like this? I am always living in some sort of daydream, I never live in reality- I read my books most of the time and try to avoid reality as much as possible....What does that sound like? Depression? Is it just my personality or is there something else going on I am totally not sure..
post #1 of 16
9/15/09 at 8:42pm