What do I do?

I am fed up...this might get long,so I apologize in advance.

I adopted Bam back in November of 2008.I was lied to.The woman who gave him to me told me he was a very sweet and loving cat.She didn't want me to meet him before bringing him to me (a red flag) and said she had to give him a home right away or he would be euthanized.I didn't think anything of it at the time,because from all the pictures I was sent he looked healthy and at the time I had no cats and was looking everywhere for a cat...so when she said she could drop him off the next day,I said yes!

Well for a week Bam would hiss and lunge at me and not let me near him.But I assumed this was normal since he was brought to a new home and enviroment.Within a week,he was slowly coming to me and finally let me pet him.However he continued biting me and hissing and growling at me for no reason,but sometimes let me pet him.

He growls at my 5 yr old daughter and do not go near her (fortunatly).I foster dogs and he hates these dogs (even though the woman who dumped him on me...I am sorry,but that is what she done,said he lived with another dog)and will hide under the couch almost 24/7,only coming out when I am in bed or he is sure nobody else is around and he has bit one of my good friends.As well as always biting me.It is getting riduculous...he has not changed since I got him in 2008.

Bam is fixed,was vet checked and seems very healthy...so this behaviour must have something to do with his history.I do not know what happened in his past,but he don't trust anyone.

In May or around there he accidentally got out when I had one of the windows open,he managed to squeeze through and was out the whole time.I rarely seen him.Well about 3-4 days ago (months after he has been out) I managed to catch him and bring him back inside.

That seemed a bad move! He hates my girls,was growling at my daughter and me and this morning he lunged at me as I walked by and he spit at me and attacked my foot (fortunatly I had shoes on).I also found poop on the stove! I was not too pleased...I know it was him,because overnight the girls were spent in a room,so Bam wouldn't hurt them while I was sleeping.It is very obvious that Bam is happier outside.

I am sooo fed up! If the woman didn't lie to me in the first place,I would not be in this situation! One of my friends suggested I give him to a farm,as he might do better as a barn cat.He does seem happier when outside,but living in a city...this is not a good idea.I do not want to look like I am giving up on him,but this is ridiculous...he obviously needs to go to a no cat,no dog and no kid home and with preferably one person who is patient...but it is hard to find a good,understanding home!

So what do I do!?

And I thought I had a cat issue!

I am hoping you get some advice of what to do here from others. All I can think of is he must have had one heck of a past. He must have been abused or forgotten about along the way so Bam is probably being aggresive out of fear that you (his new family) is going to be mean to him.

You have to have patience because he will need lots of time to come around at his own pace. He will come around too, but again, it's all patience from you to get him there ... much luck with him.

I actually got more advice from people on other forums and in myspace then here...suprisingly!

Bam has always been this way...I adopted him last year and he never changed since.So I don't know if he will...I just wish the woman didn't lie to me about it or at least told me his history or something!

Go over and check out the ferals board on the forum. You can probably get some good ideas there.

I'm sorry to hear about Bam. You could build a very HIGH fence with a top in your yard... but I highly doubt most people would go through that.

I don't think your daughter is safe around Bam. What if he suddenly tries to attack her? Putting him on a farm may be a good idea, because he will be happier. Or see if he can go to a one-person home, so that someone can work one on one with him without any dogs and kids as a distraction to Bam.

Poor guy, he must have had a rough past. As someone before me noted, taking a look at the feral board might help.

Good luck to you!

P.S. All 3 of my cats are outdoor cats and we are in the city as well. I know it is not recommended, but my cats do very well outdoors and 2 of them prefer to be outdoors as well. They stick around, because they consider my place their territory since they are most familiar with it. Cats, generally, are pretty loyal and will stick around
(only one of my cats ran away, as a kitten, but we also believe he might have been taken because he was small and cute).
A lot of people on here keep their pets indoors but this is just what I do because my cats are happier. As long as Bam isn't a nuisance to the neighbors, maybe keeping him outdoors will be better, and you can still see him if he sticks around.

Keep in mind though, cats CAN be hit by oncoming cars if they are too close to the road.

Thanks for the advice.I am gonna have a look at the feral board.
I cannot build a fence,as I don't have a back or front yard.

I am going to see if I can find a good (I won't let him go with just anyone) one person home.I did let him back outside today,as he was bawling to go out.He is hanging around the house,so that is good.There is not much traffic in my area too.He seems content out there,as when I was leaving to go out,he was chasing something and seemed happy.

I will be looking for a home though,because it definatly would not be good if he harmed my daughter.I have been so stressed out about this situation though.