I'd made the worst mistake ever..

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russiankitten

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A lot of people in my life were agaisnt me having as many cats as I had (and I was going to get more). After a lot of discussions (and persuasion) I started to think I was wrong having my three cats. the more i listened the more I began to think maybe it would be better with one. I just had to say i suppose it would be easier and my family were al to eager to look for homes for two of them. Amadeus and Symphony were given to a lady who was looking for two kittens. It all happened so quickly a matter of days when I decided (well more pursuaded) that it would be better having one cat. She lived in a nice house with a big garden and seemed very kind.

My life doesn't feel any better. Infact I feel miserable. More than miserable. I fel as though I have given two of my chilren away.
Every one I know is saying isn't your life so much easier for you now? Arn't you feeling freer. Isn't it great your not as distracted? you can now get on with your life. I don't see how I can.

I really thought I wouldn't do this. I had friends, family and a rather pushy mentel health support worker (o and not to mention my friends from church) encouraging me to just keep one for ages and I always felt I wouldn't listen to them. The more I talked to them the more I started to think maybe I should just have one maybe one is better..

I wish it hadn't taken this but it seems it has for me to realize that no matter what people say to you negativ or positiv you should live how you wish to live regardless. Of course financial issues need to be thought of when keeping pets (but this was never about money).

I am feeling very sad today. I would ring the women I gave them too but I don't have her number and it was a few weeks a go. Oh what have I done. I still have my beautiful Nefertiti. I didn't feel good when they went, I had a nasty gut feeling like some thing was wrong. Then when they had gone I cried and couldn't sleep.

Every one who knows me was telling me I'd done the right thing. Every one was telling me well done.

Why did I listen to any one I feel like such a stupid person...

Not only that I stopped my opportunity of own two stunning BSH kittens that I was looking into getting. I feel so sad there hasn't been a day where I've felt "happier" since they went..

I am going to get some more kittens (I will first see if I can get my beautiful Amadeus and Symphony back) and I will not allow any one in my home who disagrees with them being here. That even includes my stupid support worker. If she wants to help me she has to accept me and not try and fit me into a neat little package with normal written on it. Having as many cats as I did had nothing to do with my mentel health witch is panic attacks in public and feeling scared in new situations. I will not even entertain any one by listening to them when they have some thing negative to say about the cats I keep. Why did I listen to them? No one has a right to tell me how I should live..

Oh what have i done


I am not speaking to a number of "friends" who encouraged me to do this. Nothing positiv has come from this. Well a nice lady has two beautiful loving cats I guess.. If any one on this site is considering rehoming cats after having "sensible" conversations with people. Please think to yourself how you and the cats will benefit and if it is truly what you want. Ok life is harder having three cats (and even more so I am sure with five) but so much more rewarding.
 

mrblanche

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Well, with 3 kittens, you don't need TV!

Even if you could find the lady's phone number, I wouldn't be surprised if she refused to give them back (after all, she's probably in love with them by now, too) or, worse case, if she doesn't have them any more. Neither one of those outcomes would be good for you.

Too bad you're not near here; we have two kittens available at the shelter's vet who will have no adoption fee, if someone agrees to adopt both of them.

But don't beat yourself up. You can only do what you can do, and you didn't do anything out of meanness; you did it to make your life and the kitties' lives better.
 
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russiankitten

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That is true I did do it as I was thinking it was better for us both. Though it wasn't (but I was thinking it was)!!! They are together and Symphony and Amadeus never liked to be seperated. I am sure she is very attached to them now. I remember her face did light up when she saw them and she asked a few times "Are you really sure?" They do have a big garden now (some thing I havn't got). It hurts a lot but they have gone to a very good home with a very lovely person.
Aww I wish I was in Texas I would be round this afternoon for the little darlings.

I am thinking of ringing some rescue centres to see if they need any homes for unfortunate babys.
 

allfurlove

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That must have been really hard for you

Try to think, you made the nice lady very happy and the 2 kittens still have each other. Is the one you kept still a kitten? Maybe you could just get one more as a buddy for him. I know exactly how you feel about people pressuring you and thinking they know whats best
If you have the time and money to care for them and they make you happy...follow your heart
"Normal" people may never understand the joy they bring to your life.
 

shanynne

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Awwww Russiankitten my heart goes out to you
well, you could try to get her number from information and try to call her. Do you remember where she lives? You could try to go and see her and explain to her what happened and how you feel and how much you miss your babies and maybe she would give them back to you, you never know until you try!

I too know what it feels like to have people pressure you into doing things that you just don't want to do, especially when they tell you it's for your own good. I have, over the years, learned to turn a deaf ear. I just say "I appreciate your advice" and leave it at that.

I've also learned, over the years, to be careful with who I share my personal problems/issues etc. I only really share with friends I trust 100%, because what happens is that people listen to what we are saying and they want to help and sometimes they give us advice that they think is good for us, but it really isn't. And often when they keep harping at us, it's hard not to give in to them.

Have faith, try to get in touch with the lady and see if you can appeal to her to get your babies back. You never know she might agree to return them to you once she understands the situation of how it happened.

And if she doesn't want to give them back, well start looking for those BSH kittens. I don't think 3 cats is too much! So many people just don't understand how much love, pleasure and happiness our furbabies can give us and it's good to hear you say that you won't let anyone interfere with your desire to have cats!

Don't beat yourself up Russiankitten
you will find happiness with your furbabies once again!
 

rosiemac

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How old are you, and am i right in thinking your still at home with your parents?.

What you have to think good and hard about is if you take on another two will you definitely keep them this time, because it's not fair on the cats if you decide to give them up several months later
 

sammyp

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Originally Posted by Rosiemac

How old are you, and am i right in thinking your still at home with your parents?.

What you have to think good and hard about is if you take on another two will you definitely keep them this time, because it's not fair on the cats if you decide to give them up several months later
yup. Gotta agree there. this needs to be a commitment for the lifetime of your pets. Is there no way you can contact the woman your cats went to?
you should try to find her number at least to be able to check how they're doing...
 

lizzie

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There are times in our lives,in certain situations,when we are put under the pressure of people who think they know better,and they think they know what is best for us.BUNK!You have to go with your very own heart .I have many cats,and every once in awhile I will have someone say that they want this one or that one,oh how beautiful,blah blah blah.I made that mistake once,but I told them for whatever reason they couldn't keep him,I wanted him back.I was heartsick,but I was lucky in that they brought him back to me and he's with me still.It's a life lesson,believe me!
 
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russiankitten

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I'm 21 and I live in my own flat. So I guess my age makes me sort of impressionable. Anyway the irony of this is all those who were telling me the best thing to do won't actually have benefitted anything from this as they don't live with me!
\t I will never make the same mistake again. Nefertiti is here for life and she is not not NOT going anywhere. No matter who tells me I shouldn't keep her for whatever reason. It's really non of their business and after all they have no right to critiseize me..
\tI just want to do well at college. I go four days a week now to get the school grades I should have got but didn't. Every one was saying, you don't need that many cats. They'll only tie you down and distract you from your studies. Not true not true at all. Oh but I began to believe them
and then my babys..
\tIt's three weeks since it happened and the past few days I've been thinking of getting a rescue kitty. I heard about a 9 week old precious little boy whos at a local centree. He was found left on a doorstep! So he's coming home with me and believe me he won't be going anywhere!! He's with me and Nefertiti for life. We are going to live in my flat until I graduate college and get me a good job so I can get a deposit on a house for us all.
\tNext Summer I will think I will look into getting a BSH kitten but thats the future..
\tThings are going to be ok but I can't believe I just gave two huge chunks of my heart away because people said it would be good for me..
they are so irriplacable.. and i've been so dumb..
 
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russiankitten

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Arh sad news, the lady I spoke to at the rescue centre yesterday didn't realise that that little boy was on reserve. I just had a call today
.

Oh well I'm not in a rush. Really I should wait till the holidays and then I have plenty of spare time to care for a new arrival
 

carolina

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Is there anyway to contact the lady just to check on the kitties? There is nothing wrong with that...
What was is it that prompted your friends and family to tell you to give up on your cats? Because the fact that you did listen to them, means that you were indeed in accordance tho what they said.... Did you complain to them about the kitties? Did the cats prevent you from having time with them?
All my friends say the same thing, to a certain extent... They like to make fun of me, so does my family - how wouldn't they? for crying out loud, my kitties have a kitty wall on the living room, a web site, and a health insurance when I have none of that! But I brush it off my shoulders, like all of us "cat ladies" and "cat gents" do... For me it wouldn't even cross my mind...
So - the point I want to make here, is that it takes two to tango, and you need to make SURE you are NOT going to dance that song again.
IMO there was something about having more than one cat that was overwhelming to you, and your friends and family fed the fire......
I don't know.... but if there was some difficulties there, please do not put yourself and another cat in that situation again....
 

jupeycat

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I've now got four cats and a dog and certain people like to give me their opinions on this even though I haven't asked for them. I have OCD and this does not help my anxiety one bit! I know I can take care of the ones I have but I'm at my limit now apart from any emergency fosters that come in. Don't let others tell you what to do, you are an adult with sense and if you know you can take care of two or three cats then don't let them tell you otherwise. Just tell anyone who has a go, that it's your decision and the conversation is over.

I'm sure there is another kitty or two out there that need a great home, I'm only up the road in Wakefield and there's always kittens in need at the rescues. Our vet nurse says they'll still be coming in up until Christmas.

I'm very sorry about you giving up your babies.
 

shanynne

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Russian, have you tried to get in touch with that lady, at least to see how the kitties are doing? You never know, you may actually be able to get them back from her. Don't give up on that. Especially since 3 weeks is not that long, but don't wait too much longer, but that is up to you.

Please keep us posted.


Just so that you know, my mother is always telling me the same thing too "oh you and your cats, you should get rid of your cats, don't get more cats" I just ignore her when she says that. She has no pets of her own and doesn't have a clue. I would love to get a 3rd cat, but I live in an apt that has a 2 pet per apt. policy, but hopefully one day that will change.

Anyways Russian, it just goes to show that there is always someone trying to tell us what to do with our lives and believe me that never changes and sometimes it doesn't get any easier, but if you want those kittens back, don't be afraid to put your foot down as far as your family is concerned, sure they will "scold you or talk down at you or wag their finger at you" (at least I know my mother would) but just keep in mind that it's *your life*.....*your life* ... and *your* happiness, not theirs. Some people are *so* controlling ...ggggrrrrrr...it makes me mad!
 

jupeycat

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The people that that tell others what to do should perhaps look at their own lives first. There's usually issues there.
 

calico2222

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Oh honey, at least you know they went to a good home. I agree, if you can get her number, call her. Maybe she'll even let you visit them and once you see they are happy and healthy it might make you feel better.

Let me tell you, if having 3 cats makes you not normal, then I am completely insane! (All a lot of my friends would agree with that too!). I have 7 cats, 3 kittens I'm trying to find homes for (wish I could ship them to you), multiple barn cats I feed including 2 that insist on coming inside to partake of the nightly buffet, and 4 dogs. Does it get crazy? Yes. Do I sometimes wish I had gotten goldfish or pet rocks? Yes. But, they are my babies, even the shyest barn cat that runs when he sees me. And I would rather have a house full of 4 legged furry kids than 2 legged human kids that I have to put through college! To me, a person who has a houseful of kids is crazy, but that's just my opinion.

As my dad used to say, "Opinions are like butts...everyone has one, and usually they stink". (I did clean that up a little bit
)

It sounds like you made a good discovery about yourself and what makes you happy. Sometimes it takes painful experiences like this to make you realize something about yourself. Just say to everyone "My name is _____ and I AM an animal lover. Deal with it."
 

3catsn1dog

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Aww I feel so bad for you. I hope you figure everything out...and yes I agree with the opinions are like butts quote...Malarkey on anyone that doesnt like cats or thinks you have to many..If they are happy fed and taken care of forget them. I love my babies and wouldnt get rid of them for the world..They are my sweeties, kids, and love me no matter how nasty of a mood Im in...I hope you get this all worked out!
 

babywukong

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I think Calico2222's last paragraph made a lot of sense. RussianKitten, everyone does things in life that we're not proud of or end up regretting. Its really unfortunate for you, Amadeus and Symphony to have parted ways. The lady they are with sounds nice, I hope she is good to them.

Like others have said, please assess your situation - time, money, space and so on, before you commit yourself to another kitty. Being an animal lover isn't all about quantity. Quality of life, both yours AND your kitties', are equally important. All the best! I hope sharing your story here has given you some comfort.
 

bcbc mom

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LOTS of good advice here! I don't know your situation, but if there is a next time- I'd go with my gut instinct-if the situation makes it at all possible. On the other hand, your kitties are most likely VERY happy where they are now, and I don't think you need to worry at all. Kitties adapt very quickly, & since the lady was willing to take them both, then that means she wanted to make them happy. Don't worry. They're having a good life-I hope this helps, o.k.?
 

meminikitty

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Your kitties are probably very happy!

Don't worry too much about them. I'm sure, as others already mentioned, that you'll be allowed to visit.
And why not adopt another cat from the shelter if you're feeling a bit empty right now?
 
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