About Hope - I need help (long)

Guys, I need help, I don't know what to do....
It is about Hope..... Well, as most of you know, she has been with me for the last four months as a foster. She came from the same rescue place I got Lucky and Bugsy from - the rescue lady said she needed desperate help with her, and that she was not doing well at all at the rescue. The rescue lady said she was afraid of all the kitties, and too afraid even to get to the food bowl the poor thing! She was a VERY VERY VERY skittish cat.... To give you an idea, she didn't make one noise all the way home - and that was almost 60 miles! She was a tiny little thing, 7lbs, I could feel every single bone... had tapeworms, was afraid of the world! I never in a million years thought I was going to get to hold her on my arms...
Today she is a feisty little thing - Lucky's best friend! The funniest kitty in the house, the most mischievous - when I hear something falling, I KNOW it is her .
She has attached beautifully to Lucky - and somewhat to Bugsy too, but Bugsy is just too lazy for her .
She is still very quiet, but I wake up every day with her right next to my face - just waiting for me to get up to feed her. She now weighs 9.6lbs and is back at her healthy weight.
although she doesn't like it, I do grab her and hold her on my arms all the time!!!!! She even grooms me!!!
Sooooo...... she is so happy in here, for what I am afraid the first time in her life... She was a stray/feral, picked up pregnant and had a live aborption, then went to the shelter, was going to be euth., got pulled by the rescue, didn't do well with the other cats.... and she is finally so happy with me....

How can I ever let her go now??


Now, at the same time, I know that adopting her is not the responsible thing to do, considering I am unemployed.... Here is what I can afford,what do you guys think:

• I CAN add her to my kitties health insurance policy - this would be only about $20/month, which is ok, this way at least I would be somewhat safe in case of an expensive illness/emergency
• I CAN continue to feed her, since I am already the one responsible for those expenses anyways
• I CAN NOT deal with a lot of vet costs...

She is VERY VERY healthy, so far anyways.
I don't know what do....... The bottom line is, she is not the normal kitty that will go to a house and let herself be picked up, etc... I am SO scared of her ending up in a shelter....
I also feel so guilty of taking her away from the only place she has ever felt safe and happy in her whole life...
I Love this little girl, and the last thing I want is to adopt her, and all of the sudden not be able to afford vet care for her....
What do I do?
Hope before:


Hope after:

She is so gorgeous, I can understand totally your feeling. You only have to look at the expression in her eyes in each photo to know the difference you have made to her.

You know you must be responsible (which is more than some people are) but you can afford the bare necessities of everyday life plus the insurance. I would look very carefully at your budget to see where you can spare just a dollar or three a week, and be sure to save that amount every week in a separate account for emergencies. You will be amazed how quickly it will mount up. Tell your family/friends what you are doing and ask for kitty help (a tray or bag of food/ litter/cash for birthdays and Christmas until you get on your feet again. I think people will respond and respect you. But you cannot let this little one down again.

If that really doesn't work, is there anyone you know and trust where you could rehome her? It is not ideal but at least it is better than the shelter, if you know where she is.

I do hope you manage to keep her.

I agree with jennyransom's excellent advice. You have worked a miracle in this cat, and forcing her to adjust to a new home would probably undo it all. Keep her! And save your pennies towards emergencies!

I can't foster without falling in love and wanting to keep them either, therefore I no longer foster. While medical expenses can occur at any time, the odds are that she won't need any expensive medical care until she starts to age. If you can afford the $20 for medical insurance for her now, and save a little bit each week for emergencies, hopefully you won't need your medical emergency fund for a long time and you'll be OK.

I have taken in feral kittens with the intention of adopting them out once they become socialized. Then I grow attached to them, or they remain skittish (as any cat an be) and I keep them. I understand your dilemna, and I'm not one to tell you to try to adopt her out.

Originally Posted by jennyranson

She is so gorgeous, I can understand totally your feeling. You only have to look at the expression in her eyes in each photo to know the difference you have made to her.

You know you must be responsible (which is more than some people are) but you can afford the bare necessities of everyday life plus the insurance. I would look very carefully at your budget to see where you can spare just a dollar or three a week, and be sure to save that amount every week in a separate account for emergencies. You will be amazed how quickly it will mount up. Tell your family/friends what you are doing and ask for kitty help (a tray or bag of food/ litter/cash for birthdays and Christmas until you get on your feet again. I think people will respond and respect you. But you cannot let this little one down again.

If that really doesn't work, is there anyone you know and trust where you could rehome her? It is not ideal but at least it is better than the shelter, if you know where she is.

I do hope you manage to keep her.

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I too can only echo what jenny ransom said. She gave you very good advice. Personally, I hope that you can find a way to keep Hope.

If I where you, I´ll take her...

I mean...is a fact that you soon on maybe in a short time maybe you will going to get a job.....(let´s going to be optimistics)... ..........I know you´re in the hunt of job, I wish of all heart you can get it soon!...
I know she will going to be a good girl and going to behave herself to really get very well along with your other fur-kitts...

As a failed foster meowmy myself the advice I can offer on a personal level is this. Having the time that you have had with her, you ultimately know what is best for her. If you feel deep in your heart that it is best she stay with you, make it happen.

When I brought pregnant Ginger into my life, I never dreamed she would stay part of my life. My ultimate goal was to insure she not continue to add to the pet overpopulation and that her babies not do the same. But even with our only connection being honestly through words of the bars of that enclosure I grew to love and trust her, and she me. Although I tried to find her a home, I knew that in today's economy I could only trust myself to provide to her through thick and thin. There were no takers for her, and although I wish she could live in someone's home or my home and being lying on a couch, she is happier on our front porch than she would be lying in a cage at the kill shelter, waiting her death day.

Trust your gut, and I firmly believe that you would go without long before you'd let your cats go without. You're a great meowmy.

Leslie

That's just how it was with our Abby -- it took five years to overcome this poor little girl's terror. She still stays in her own room, but now we can leave the doors open and let other kitties visit her -- and she adores both Mom and me. She comes running to meet us when we go in, mewing so sweetly and flinging herself down for a tummyrub!

I admire your wish to be a responsible kittymom -- but I think at this point, the "irresponsible" thing might be moving Hope to a new home where she would have to adjust to all over again. Y'know?

I think you have a kitty.

She chose you as her human.

So far as expenses go, you can give her what she needs at the moment.

So far as the insurance goes, personally I wouldn't put her on it. I would instead put the $20 aside for future vet costs for her. The yearly amount you would be spending on the insurance is $240.00. She's young and healthy. Pet insurance is for times when the cat is sick. While there is no guaranties, Hope is not likely to need vet care for an illness for years. At which time you will have $240.00 times how ever many years, put into the bank. You also may have a job by then too.

I say let her stay with you, where she is happy, and with a family that is totally in love with her!

I'll echo everyone who says to let her stay. You've worked wonders with her and she's definately accepted you as her human. You've said you can afford the basics, and since she's not 'normal', I think it's better that she stays with someone who can understand that.

Life happens, circumstances change, as Coolcat said, before long you'll have a job again. I think Hope will be happier staying with the family that loves her.

If there is any way possible to keep her, I would do so. You have done so much for her, and Lucky has bonded with her. But you know your financial situation better than anyone and what you can afford to do. Blessing to you for all that you've done, and for the future. You are such a kindhearted person, I hope great things happen for you soon.

Bless those that are able to foster - I couldn't bring them into my heart and then give them up. ugh!

I've rescued 1 stray, and a feral Mommy (kittens were born before I could TNR). I couldn't take the babies away from Mommy, she would have grieved so much and I would have had to watch her. So, all four are in my care (and my husband's) and they have found a home with us.

I totally agree with Jenny's advice - in this case, I truly believe fate or God or destiny has arranged this relationship, and will provide what you need when you need. You're not being irresponsible in this case - you're thinking long and hard about it, but sometimes we are instruments in a greater cause.

Originally Posted by darlili

I totally agree with Jenny's advice - in this case, I truly believe fate or God or destiny has arranged this relationship, and will provide what you need when you need. You're not being irresponsible in this case - you're thinking long and hard about it, but sometimes we are instruments in a greater cause.

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Yep - agree - I believe that the cats were brought to me to take care of.

I think that if I was suppose to give up a cat, I would be a peace about the decision. Other opportunities would be given - like, if someone I know is crazy about cats, and would fawn all over one, then, I would seriously consider that it was that person's turn to care of it.

(I'm in a hurry - I hope the above paragraph makes sense.)

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

She chose you as her human.

So far as expenses go, you can give her what she needs at the moment.

So far as the insurance goes, personally I wouldn't put her on it. I would instead put the $20 aside for future vet costs for her. The yearly amount you would be spending on the insurance is $240.00. She's young and healthy. Pet insurance is for times when the cat is sick. While there is no guaranties, Hope is not likely to need vet care for an illness for years. At which time you will have $240.00 times how ever many years, put into the bank. You also may have a job by then too.

I say let her stay with you, where she is happy, and with a family that is totally in love with her!

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Thank you Natalie, but not a chance in the World I am leaving her out of insurance... Both Lucky and Bugsy are young, and both of them have used insurance already... I understand what you are saying, but being under the financial circumstances that I am, being unemployed and all, I can Absolutely NOT take that risk... Accidents and Illnesses CAN and DO happen and God forbid if they do... then what? I don't want to ever ever ever face a situation where I might have to put one of my babies to sleep because I can not afford the treatment... I have seen that happening more than once in here, and it was not with old cats... If I were employed, and had an income, and another choice... sure, I might agree with you, but - no - this is a Russian roulette I am not willing to play...

You guys are the best! Thank you for supporting us!!!

Say Hello to the newest OFFICIAL member of the family:

H

O

P

E

I called the rescue she belonged to, and had a long heart to heart conversation with the lady.... She said that before she came to me, her adoption chances were "0". She also said that now so many people are surrendering and returning kitties because of the economy, and she has soooooo many cats in house, out of which many are purebred ragdolls (Bugsy's breeder closed, and released all kitties to her)... She said unfortunately everybody only wants Ragdolls... Long story short, if I return her, her chances of being adopted are pretty much flat - and I agree with her... I went to her site and looked at the new kitties.... lets face it.... people want purebred kitties.... And she has MANY now... Hope would be there for a long time, and very unhappy. So......... No, that is not going to happen.
So, as of today, she is my girl, all mine - but I will share her with Lucky and Bugsy too
Come Monday I will be adding her to our insurance policy, and I know in my heart that she WILL have what she needs, no matter what I have to do, I will figure it out; she will stay with me, where she is loved, cherished, and appreciated, with all her quirkiness!

Hola HOPE y bienvenida a TCS, ...Catulina

y Milky

te saludan!!!........

(Translate: Hi HOPE and Welcome to TCS, Catulina and Milky say hello to you!!!... )

Please ask whatever you need to know, there are plenty of good members and of course our tireness Mod´s to help us here!.... ...BUT also, Milky & Catulina will be pleasant to send some PM´s & some scritches time in time... ...

See you on the forums!, Glad that you join us!

yay!!!!

I didn't even realize she wasn't your cat! You seem like such a responsible owner; I know you can handle it! I hope you will decide that you can keep her!

OH WOW!!! (note to self, read entire thread before posting! ) CONGRATULATIONS on your official new addition!! Yea for Hope!!!!!