Now I remember...*rant!*

How about having the next one at a park and make it pot luck, with people committing to a dish along with their RSVP? Parks will let you reserve space for a fee that isn't too outrageous, and you won't have the clean up mess or the bathroom problem, and all the kids can run around as much as they want, as long as you have 2 people supervising the food.

If they commit to food, then they can't/won't be last minute no shows, and if they are, they would never receive a follow-up invite, ever!

If you want to do a cookout, then you supply the meat, and ask everyone attending to bring a salad or dessert of their choice. I love salad pot lucks because there are so many varieties - pasta, potato, broccoli, mandarin, the possibilities are endless!

If their own parents don't keep an eye on them, maybe the really bad ones will fall into the pond or river. (just kidding!)

I know hindsight is always 20/20, but if you ever CHANGE YOUR MIND (heh) and invite the children with the parents, I would absolutely enforce the no kid inside rule, UNLESS and only UNLESS one parent was with the child to go to the potty. No kid alone in the house. Period. But renting a portapotty is also a good idea!

One of my friends (with the 2 kids) offered to help clean up the table outside (bring in glasses and plates), but some of the food inside I didn't even find until after they left and I turned on more lights in the house! I knew her kids were rambunctious - she used to be on my bowling league and they were pretty wild there, running all over the alley, getting in front of bowlers, etc. She used to reprimand them, although they dont seem to listen well because they'd keep doing.

I guess I'm in such shock because I know my parents NEVER would have let me act in such a way, and they would have been extremely embarrassed if I or my brother disrespected someones home when we were guests.

I think I'm just done with kids near my house for awhile (maybe always!). I've never wanted any myself, and I'm not fond of being around them either. Then when they act like this, it makes me want to be around them even less. Lol.

For whatever reason, be it media saturation, video games, too many modern conveniences, lazy parents, parents living vicariously through their children, or whatever...the fact is that kids aren't the same as they were a generation ago, and no one needs an excuse to say, "I don't want them here". Having them around as part of an adult get-together is just plain "High risk-low reward".

And I actually like kids. But even among the people you think you know well and would make good parents, there's just too often a huge disconnect between those people in a non-parent state, and when they've gone brain-dead with their kids running rampant. They've created the disaster, let them deal with it in their own nightmarish environment.

Originally Posted by Dusty's Mom

I know hindsight is always 20/20, but if you ever CHANGE YOUR MIND (heh) and invite the children with the parents, I would absolutely enforce the no kid inside rule, UNLESS and only UNLESS one parent was with the child to go to the potty. No kid alone in the house. Period. But renting a portapotty is also a good idea!

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Oh yes, if I ever happen to change my mind, that will be the rule. I will LOCK my house and personally escort parent and child to the door, and then escort them out if I have to. This will never occur again.

But the porta potty thing will work too haha. My in-laws would probably split the rental cost with us anyway.

And I thought my step-sister's kids were wild! They sound tame compared to the bunch that ransacked your home.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

It might be worth holding any future cookouts at an outdoor public park. We have many of those that we can rent for a day. We have a family reunion every 2 years and rent an area of the park in the small town where my hubby was born and most of his family live. No muss, no fuss. They have a brick building with running water, sinks, public washrooms. The kids can run around, use the swings, we have races and games for them. Everyone brings food and it's great.

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I'm going to have to agree with this suggestion, too. Family has done this in the past and it generally works great.
The only downside is the same parents that aren't responsible enough to keep track of their kids going into your house are the same ones that will lose track of where their kids may be wandering off to while at the park.

However, you cannot leave messes at parks. Everyone MUST clean up after themselves and throw all trash away. So it's not like using a park is a way to get out of that.




I remember going to a couple of cook outs when I was little. I would usually go inside while the other kids stayed outside - large gatherings of people have always bothered me. No one minded because I would keep myself quietly entertained just sitting in one spot or I'd fall asleep. I suppose that's rare to find in most kids.

I can understand your frustration about this as well because I am not a kid person either. However I have a tendency to blame it more on the parents then the children. If children are taught to behave right from the beginning chances are they will. I certainly would have been saying something about it to the parents, bit then again parents with kids that bad generally see them as being perfect and it's always someone else fault if the child is acting up.

I would've had a fit also. I probably also would have said quite a bit and lose the parents as friends. I hate when parents can't or won't control their kids. They usually just let them run and so whatever they like. I am not a kids person either and never was so I stay away from them especially the brats.

Me and my kids would've been having a "come to Jesus meeting" in front of everybody......enough said.

Then again my kids know better than to act like that.

OMG I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU *HUGS*HUGS*HUGS* Im not a kid person either I only have 4 kids I know of that would be allowed in my house and thats my 2 (they live with my mom) and my friends Dee's sons who I know are good kids and her one has downs syndrome and is my "BF" Im the only person aside from her family he will let snuggle him up. If I were you I would have been having a 'come to jesus' talk with the parents because they need their butts spanked for letting their kids act like that. Its the parents and kids fault in the misbehaving the kids should have been taught better than that and they should have known how to act when they are company in someone elses home Geez even my "nephew" Rocco the pug has more manners than those kids but the parents should have stepped up and gotten those 'demons' under control so they either werent in your house or messing your stuff up! I hope your next BBQ goes better and I would completely understand why there would be a NO KIDS line on the invite!

Originally Posted by emrldsky

I still struggle with the thought that parents behave that way themselves. Sure, the kids behaved badly, but the fault is on the parents in this situation and honestly, THEY are the ones who behaved badly. I feel bad for the children, because they may never know how to behave properly in social situations as they get older.

I never struggle with the idea of inviting nieces and nephews over, but that's because if I tell my brothers that my cats may bite or scratch if their tails are pulled, my brothers make sure their kids don't do it! Then again, we do have an open rule where any family member may reprimand a misbehaving child (who is a member of the family). If it involves more than a reprimand, we let the parent know and it's taken care of, immediately.

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That is an excellent rule! When I am supervising my siblings' children, I AM IN CHARGE!!! If stringent measures are needed beyond a reprimand, a parent is called in. If no parent is around - like babysitting... I can punish.

Those children are being raised to behave like this b/c they have lazy and undisciplined PARENTS. Little kid = little problem. Don't nip it in the bud then.... big kid=BIIIIIGGGG problems. I would say something to the parents about their childrens' behavior in someone else's home.

ETA: those families need "Nanny 911"!!!!!

Ridiculous - the parents should have been in better control of their children. I dont see the kids as to blame, as they are just being kids, and actually arent rational enough to realize that leaving limes on a table is a problem (for example). And if at home when they crush chips into the carpet, mom just vacuums it up without saying anything, they arent going to think thats a problem either. The problem is 100% the parents (your friends) not understanding the terms of good conduct. And for your sake, do what you know you should have - dont invite those people over -- if they dont control their children at home, they will not be able to control them at your house.
That said, I have no kids, and would love to have friends that hosted cookouts like that!!! Send me an invite next time....yum!

I'm sorry this happened to you.

But if it had been me, I probably wouldn't have even been friends with the parents after this party because no way in hell are some strange kids going to be running amuck in my house.

My parents would have never let me act like that! It's so horrible what kids can get away with these days all because mom's and dad's are afraid of their own children!

Again, I'm sorry. I would have had a serious talk with mom and dad and told them to get their kids and leave if they couldn't get them under control.

Originally Posted by Februa

Ridiculous - the parents should have been in better control of their children. I dont see the kids as to blame, as they are just being kids, and actually arent rational enough to realize that leaving limes on a table is a problem (for example). And if at home when they crush chips into the carpet, mom just vacuums it up without saying anything, they arent going to think thats a problem either. The problem is 100% the parents (your friends) not understanding the terms of good conduct. And for your sake, do what you know you should have - dont invite those people over -- if they dont control their children at home, they will not be able to control them at your house.
That said, I have no kids, and would love to have friends that hosted cookouts like that!!! Send me an invite next time....yum!

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It is definately the parents that are the problem. I can't understand why they would allow their children to behave that way. Mine wouldn't dare try that. We have large family cookouts all of the time. I have never had children behave that badly. I wouldn't invite the parents back.

What a mess! I am sorry your party was ruined by such inconsiderate people.
This is why the only kid allowed in my house is my granddaughter.
My friends know if they bring their kids to my house, they are MINE while they are there, and if they do not behave, I will have no problem turning them over my knee and spanking their little butts.
The funny thing is, the 2 main ones that I did that to instantly became my friends, and love me to this day. They are grown now, but they never again misbehaved in my home, and loved to come there. They knew where they stood and never pushed my limits again. I expected something of them, and they knew it, and what the the consequences would be if those expectations were not met.
They were so polite and well behaved there, even their grandmother was amazed, because she could never get them to act like anything but little heathens.
They both have children of their own now, and I hear they are very well behaved.

You are my kind of woman krazy kat!