Now I remember...*rant!*

tara g

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why I dont let kids come to my house parties.

This weekend Rob and I had a bonfire cookout for Labor Day. I decided to allow people to bring their kids this time because last time we said no children and only 4 people showed up. A co-worker told me I was crazy for saying yes this time, and he was right! I'm not a kid person to begin with, so this certainly didn't help.

The cookout got off to a slow start - only 1 person showed up at 12:30, the rest showed up between 2-3pm. One of my friends/co-workers brought her two kids, who are 5 and 10. A girl from my fitness class brought her 4 year old. This other couple brought their 9 year old and 1 year old (and those were the only 2 who behaved!) I didn't want any kids in the house unsupervised - we have loaded guns in our bedroom, and two cats who aren't allowed outside. Plus, the party was outside - the only reason anyone needed to be inside was to use the bathroom.

Well first, the 5 and 10 year old kept going in the house, running around, crushed chips into my carpet, dumped a bowl of water and lime slices onto the floor, used up all my Magic Grip chalk for pole just randomly spraying it on themselves, wouldn't leave my pole alone, were wearing my shoes, going through my pantry and eating my food out of there (instead of the food we cooked outside!), helping themselves into my cabinets taking out my measuring cups (and have the audacity to ask me why I dumped the ice out of the cup and put it in the sink!) They would take food from the grill or tables and then only eat a bite out of it and leave it laying around somewhere. Kept trying to get into our strawberry banana daquiris.

The 5 year old was the worst and did most of the above. She terrorized poor Nero, he kept mewing when she'd grab him and try and pick him up. I had to keep telling her to put him down because she was hurting him. I sort of wish he went attack cat on her - then she wouldn't have touched him again...but who knows if she would have tried to hit him. She covered herself in sand from the horseshoe pit then brushed herself off INSIDE my house.

The 4 year old wanted to go inside too, and her mom said only if you have to use the bathroom. So she said she did. When I came inside, she was hiding in the closet with the 5 year old. Then proceeded to say "I only told my mommy I needed to potty, so I can come inside!" Neither one of the moms wanted to go retrieve their kids, so a few times I was the one trying to get them back outside!

Never ever ever again. Ever.
 

-_aj_-

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Dunno how you managed to get through the day, i cringe going into supermarkets when parents are letting their children run around and shout and scream.

I was never brought up to go against what my mam or dad said i wouldnt of dared they were firm but fair with me and my two brothers we wouldnt of dared do what them children did to your house, it is just disrespectful.
 

mrblanche

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Mark Twain said there are only 2 ways to do things. First class, and with children.
 
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tara g

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Originally Posted by -_aj_-

Dunno how you managed to get through the day, i cringe going into supermarkets when parents are letting their children run around and shout and scream.

I was never brought up to go against what my mam or dad said i wouldnt of dared they were firm but fair with me and my two brothers we wouldnt of dared do what them children did to your house, it is just disrespectful.
My parents kept me in line as well. I wouldn't have dreamed of causing a scene, going through other people's things, etc. Even going out to dinner, I used to quietly sit there and eat - I didn't run around the restaurant like I see many do now. I hate being at restaurants, supermarkets, and other public places where people just let their kids wreak havoc. I was brought up different, and so was my husband. His mom was appalled at what was going on!

That night when I finally came back in the house and looked around, besides finding chips in my carpet, I found lime slices sitting on my glass dining room table, practically stuck and dried on the table. Chicken on my kitchen island. I seriously dont know how I made it through either. I was losing my mind.
 

snake_lady

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If you ever decide to do it again, which I doubt you will but just in case...... look into renting a porta potty.... that way there is NO REASON anyone needs to be in the house.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this bs
some peoples kids just have no respect these days.
 

gailc

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I would have been upset also. Sounds like those childre needed a dose of discipline!
 

bbdoll22

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and people have the nerve of calling cats animals. cats are much more well behaved than those undisiplined children are. when i was a child you were always on your best behavior going out, nowdays children have no respect or manners.
 
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tara g

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We had a porta potty once at one of our last bonfires, and my MIL said at their next event (pig roast bonfire in January) they will be renting one because they don't want their house disrespected like ours, and next time we have an event they will rent one for that too.

Hoshi and Nero were EXTREMELY well behaved for all the bustling going on around them! They are both lovey cats, but when Nero has had enough or gets touched on the stomach, it's on! He curls up into a little ball of claws and teeth. He didn't do that this weekend to anyone who picked him up when he didn't want to be bothered. Hoshi hates being picked up but he didn't bite or scratch any of them when they struggled to lift his 16 pound booty. They definitely had better behavior than those 3 kids.

Hubby doesn't want to have anymore cookouts mainly because he is disappointed in how many "friends" dont bother showing up when they say they will, and instead of saying something came up, they dont say a word. I'd still like to have some in the future, but if I ever allow anyone to bring children again (this was a 1st, I really dont like kids lol. My cats are my kids) they will NOT be going in my house (it will be locked) and there will be a porta potty for usage.
 

otto

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Did you tell your friend/coworker how disappointed you were that she allowed her children to behave so?

Where were all these parents? It seems they felt your invitation included free child care.

I really don't understand how people can be so rude and oblivious. Those children are being raised to have no respect for anyone or anything.

The future leaders of our world. Scary thought!
 

libby74

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Wow. you need a hug!

You were extremely brave to invite people with kids, something I refuse to do. One of my nephews brings his 2 little ones over on Halloween and, even tho' they're well behaved, I have to follow them around the house to protect the cats and belongings. Kids love to explore a new place and their parents don't always realize how nervous that makes their host.
No, I'm not sticking up for the parents of the little animals that invaded your home. If I had behaved that way when I was a kid I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week. I'm sorry your party turned out to be such a mess.
 

-_aj_-

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I think the porta potty is a good idea means you wouldnt have to worry about your house and the kitties getting frightened i dont have kids round to mine because sooty is terrified of people and sometimes lashes out and i wouldnt want to take the risk of him hurting a child as hes bad enough with adults.

How did you not say anything to the parents i dont think i could of held my tongue, actually i think i would of told everyone to go home
 

emrldsky

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Nuh uh...might give me away!
I still struggle with the thought that parents behave that way themselves. Sure, the kids behaved badly, but the fault is on the parents in this situation and honestly, THEY are the ones who behaved badly. I feel bad for the children, because they may never know how to behave properly in social situations as they get older.

I never struggle with the idea of inviting nieces and nephews over, but that's because if I tell my brothers that my cats may bite or scratch if their tails are pulled, my brothers make sure their kids don't do it! Then again, we do have an open rule where any family member may reprimand a misbehaving child (who is a member of the family). If it involves more than a reprimand, we let the parent know and it's taken care of, immediately.
 

yosemite

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Honestly, it's not the childrens' fault - it's the parents. They would not be invited back to any future parties if they insisted on bringing those brats.

As for the Port-a-potty, I personally wouldn't do that. I don't think it is very "tasteful".

It might be worth holding any future cookouts at an outdoor public park. We have many of those that we can rent for a day. We have a family reunion every 2 years and rent an area of the park in the small town where my hubby was born and most of his family live. No muss, no fuss. They have a brick building with running water, sinks, public washrooms. The kids can run around, use the swings, we have races and games for them. Everyone brings food and it's great.
 

lync

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What a horrible experience! I would have said something to the parents of those kids. I would have taken them off to the side and politely asked them to keep their kids out of the house and if they needed to go to the bathroom, that one parent accompany them. That you have cats indoors and don't want them to escape. Or something like that. Truly awful for you and hubby. I don't think I would be thinking of throwing any parties for a awhile.
 
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tara g

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Originally Posted by otto

Did you tell your friend/coworker how disappointed you were that she allowed her children to behave so?

Where were all these parents? It seems they felt your invitation included free child care.

I really don't understand how people can be so rude and oblivious. Those children are being raised to have no respect for anyone or anything.

The future leaders of our world. Scary thought!
I told my friend again this morning about the random food I found, and how dirty my house became. She's like "sorry, my kids are too wild". So she acknowledges, but didn't do anything about it. The day of the cookout she told me that she tries to tell them they are misbehaving when they do things like that, but all of her friends tell them "oh its okay" whenever they do something wrong at their homes.

The parents were sitting right outside, and I even said to them "there are to be no kids in the house unsupervised, and no kids inside except for bathroom breaks". I even mentioned the guns to them, and they still didn't get up to do anything.

My invitation even said "If you brings kids, they are YOUR responsibility." !!!!! Besides, both people who brought them know that I'm not a kid person, and I only really did it so they would be able to come out and enjoy themselves since last time we had a cookout, no one wanted to try and find sitters. They certainly did enjoy themselves, while I stressed out trying to keep their kids in line. Ughhh. Never again. This was exactly why I dont let people bring their kids to my parties. Its now been validated.

I warned them that Nero may scratch or bite if touched in the wrong place, that didn't matter they still let them play with my cats. He is the biggest ball of love in the world, but when he gets excited and wound up, he's the biggest nut job in the world. Even when I told the kids to be careful with him, they didn't care. The 10 year old asked if she could pet him and I said yes, as long as she didn't touch the tummy. The 5 year old didn't care and was pulling him all over the place like a teddy bear. I was shocked he didn't go crazy. At one point, the 5 year old came outside and left the door wide open with both kitties standing there sniffing outside.

The mother of the 4 year old kept her kid on a tight leash after I said she needed to get out of my house lol. She wouldn't let her walk 5 feet away after that. But when the mom came inside to get something the kid followed, then started screaming and crying she wanted to stay inside so they went home.

The reason we had it at our house is because we have a HUGE pile of wood from when our land was cleared, and it was a good excuse to get together and have some food and burn some of that wood!

We even had toys and games outside for the kids to play with, but they ignored that. My MIL tried to get them into playing horseshoes with her and frisbee, which lasted all of 5 minutes before they were back in my house messing with all our stuff.
 

nes

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I don't know, my son was the HIT of our labour-day bash
. We did a dinner thing so everyone came around 6. Lucas ran around making friends, being completely adorable and con-ing food and cuddles from everyone until he went to bed at 9pm. The adults got to stay up a little later (2am
I'm still tired!!).

Maybe next year just live with the smaller crowd - that sounds like a better idea for you guys!


I know when we go places with the little man, if gramma or papas are their (or unwilling aunts & uncles, muhahahaha!) they'll get put in charge of him for a few minutes so mommy can sit down; but I'd never just let him run loose in another person's house!! I KNOW what he does to mine!!
There are potatoes everywhere, he found where I kept them yesterday and keeps stealing them & throwing the "balls" for the dogs
. I don't hate anyone that much!
 

lynsey

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WOW. I'm sorry you and your husband had to live through this nightmare. I mean if these "friends" had respect for you guys, they would have retrieved their kids and picked up their kids mess (or at least offered to). Sounds like some people have that "her house is my house" mentality.
 

natalie_ca

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OMG! I can so relate!!!

Several years ago I invited my friend over for dinner and a movie. She had 2 kids at the time and she understood to get a babysitter for them.

A day or two before she told me that her babysitter cancelled and that she couldn't find anyone else. Her kids were relatively well behaved so I told her to bring them along. Plus they were a bit older than the last time they had been over where they not only destroyed an antique lamp, but ended up dumping 2 newly watered plants all over the rug.

The day they were to come over she called to tell me that her (very serious relationship) boyfriend had called her and wanted to do something with them and wondered if it was ok if he came along.

What was I to say? No? So I said ok.

Well, he showed up with his 2 kids which were about the same age as her 2 kids.

So I went from cooking for 2 adults to cooking for 3 adults and 4 kids!!!

I live in a 1 bedroom apartment. My friend's daughter though around 9 at the time was a total pig when she ate. It looked like a war zone after she had finished eating, which was partly why I didn't want her kids over. I had the kids eat at the table while us adults ate at the coffee table in the living room area. By the time they left I was washing spaghetti sauce off the chair seats, the walls, the floor and even the window by the table.l

That was the last time I ever invited them over. My nerves just couldn't handle it.

I've never wanted to have kids. I don't even really like children all that much. Though sometimes I can tolerate them in small doses if they are well behaved. But if they are running around yelling and/or misbehaving and/or crying, I just want to run in the other direction to get away from the noise.

So I don't blame you for not wanting to have kids at your party.
 
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