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The times have sure changed!

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
I tried to scan this article, but it is to faded to go through. It was taken from the magaizine Housekeeping Monthly on the 13th of May 1955 (my actual birthday too) I just got it in email and wanted to share it:


* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned for his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

*Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with some work-weary people

*Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide that much-needed lift

*Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before he arrives home.

*Clear away all the children's school books and potables. Place fresh flowers in a vase in the center of the dining room table.

*Over the cooler months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it it will give you a lift too. After all catering for his comfort will provide you with personal satisfaction.

*Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces, comb their hair and change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing that part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be still.

*Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

*Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.

* Let him talk first. Remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

*Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to underdstand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax when he does show up.

*Your goal is to try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can remew himself in body and spirit.

*Don't greet him with complaints and problems

* Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might of gone through in his day.

*Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

*Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

*Don't ask him questions about his actions, or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the Master of the House and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

*Remember, a good wife always knows her place.
post #2 of 18
that is crazy! it's hard to believe that people lived by that 'code' of behavior.

too funny.
post #3 of 18
that's disgusting!!!!! I don't know, I'm only 15 and all, but before I treated any guy like that (and demeaned myself so much), you'd have to hit me over the head with the frying pan! maybe I'm just mean...but that's sad.
post #4 of 18
Thread Starter 
When we were younger I mean. Only allowed dolls and easy-bake ovens, play irons, ironing boards. Always wearing dresses and speaking only when spoken to. Sitting straight at dinner table showing only impeccable manners. Accepting the given (back then) that men were superior in math and other areas. Being trained in business (typing) and general clerking. I wanted to be a vet, but no way- a gasp.....girl! Could not have that opportunity, so I went into nursing for awhile. Ironed my dad's shirts, his hankerchiefs, learned how to be a good hostess, oh we were so limited back then, and before us, our poor mothers actually had to do this stuff the article talks about. It has only been recently that my mother finally dropped my dad's surname to her she was Mrs. H.M. so-and so and went to her first name and his last name. Most of the now-adults that I know that grew up in that era, were abused too, so looks like that system didn't work. You are fortunate to be 15 years old and have limitless possibilities for your life. Whatever you do, don't waste that. Apply yourself in school it is more important than you think it is and will reflect on you later in life. Okay lecture over now...
post #5 of 18
Yes Hissy thats so true. I was born in 1951 and we were not allowed to wear pants to school.Dresses only. We were expected to play with dolls and such. I was a bit of a tomboy though and insisted on playing with plastic cars and trucks with my cousin who was a boy.I remember my mom though always doing everything my dads way and never arguing. He was king. Actually they are still like that.

I remember my dad telling me to take a business course in high school so I could be a secretary. He was a doctor. The sixties came along and did change a lot of that kind of thinking here anyway. I unfortunatly went kind of wild and ended up quitting school and running away from home. But thats another story.

Anyway thanks for sharing.
post #6 of 18
I sure am glad I was born in the 70's. I did get a lot of the basics like cooking, taking care of the house and such. Now days mom is not home all the time. She is out working 40hours a week and needs a little help. I am glad hubby pitches in, but I still try to be a housewife as well. Except for occasions like today(had a rough day) I am having leftover hot dogs, daughter is having ribs and hubby gets a hot pocket. Of course I will make it up to them later this week
post #7 of 18
First off, there are TONS of jokes there, but I'll leave those alone..

Ya know my mom was JUST LIKE THAT! And because I grew up like that, it was VERY hard for me to break out of that mindset. Luckily I did, cuz yes folks times they have a changed. But I did read an article about a month ago whilst waiting the waiting room of one of the many Drs I frequent these days that brought up a point about how society has been affected just by the fact women are not staying home and doing those things. I could see the points tht it made, such as the latch key child issue, and a fact about how it does affect the male, not having a mate to sturdy them (cuz ya'll know we need alot of that, we have fragile egos) and a bunch of other stuff. But then I thought, uh huh, this is just like society to pin it's ill's on one thing, like ooooooo it must be the music that makes kids kill other kids.. fact is, it's a whole lot of stuff all wrapped up together, but im thinkin that it comes down to parents caring about what their kids are doing and communication. Where is this going you ask?

Well, I have sons who are 18 and 15 (from a previos marriage) and I would ALWAYS know what they were up to, and most of the time all that it took was trust and communication, and of course eye's in the back of my head.
Now that I have a 7 yr old girl, going on 30, what I want for her, more than anything is NOT to have to rely on any man to make her way in the world, and the thing that makes it so difficult to instill that is society, cuz see, alot of society still thinks that women should be the way they were back then... not openly of course, but in covert little ways. It does make it hard.

On the other hand, just because one would decide to do that for a partner, I dont really think is demeaning, I mean, it doesn't demean Sandie to work a 40 and at the same time take care of us (I'm sure ya'll have heard the Queen of clean tag) it's a hard job she has, and to be honest, I don't really know anyone her age Male of Female, that could do it as well as she has all these years, and mostly have to do it by herself most of the time (and I do mean most of the time), I also don't think it demeans me as a man to vacuum or clean or make dinner or do laundry or any of the other things that I do, far too infrequently.

So maybe time haven't really changed.. we just look at them different. give and take here and there on both side of the fence, as it were.... Yeah, I know Im rambling...they told me this would happen... heh

post #8 of 18
Well, I was only a kid during the 1950s so I can't attest to whether or not those guidelines were an ideal or a norm. After all, the only females I spent time with were my mother and my girlfriend. Even though those strictures read like a script from the make-believe world of Ozzie and Harriet, I suppose some women carried out some of those "orders."

My guess is that a list of equal length and amazement could have been drawn up regarding what was expected of men in the 1950s. Every generation thinks it has cornered the market on wisdom! If the present generation thinks it knows everything, so be it.

What's lost in all this is the fact that individuals, not templates, lived in real society during the 1950s — or whenever — and I sure hope a list on paper doesn't end up becoming a greater witness to an era than actual people who muddled through with their actual lives.

post #9 of 18
Well, I grew up with the philosophy that I was nothing without a man. I married at the age of 20 to a man who believed that a woman should stay at home and take care of her man. I was to have dinner on the table the minute he arrived from work and when he was finished eating, he got up and went to watch television while I cleaned up, did the rest of my chores, etc. Needless to say I was divorced by the time I was 24 and still felt inferior unless I had a boyfriend (and was miserable). It took years to break that way of thinking. I am now 48 and for the first time in years I am content with my life, have tons of friends not to mention cats and am not waiting around for a man to walk into my life.

I think that "a woman should know her place" is one sided and barbaric.
post #10 of 18
June Cleaver, I'm not! I have seen this as well - made me laugh, especially the last line!
post #11 of 18
Remember his topics of conversatin are more important than yours...\\
What a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get angry just thinking that woman used to live like that...although sometimes I think I do too.
post #12 of 18
I find the most amazing part of that article is the number of women, especially, who laugh and say that they are so glad that times have changed, yet they run out and marry the first fool who comes along because they feel they have to still live up to that standard. I know WAY too many women who get married to have the day and the dress. They are more in love with the idea of a wedding than the person they are marrying. Have we really left those days behind? I wonder.
post #13 of 18
Thread Starter 
All those fairy tales they were told when they were little, all the different ways they were programmed that there really is a Prince Charming and just look at the size of the ring he is offering. I think that is what makes woman lose their reasoning and common sense. The only trouble is sometimes Prince Charming either turns out to be the wolf in Goldilocks, or the troll who lives under the bridge and scares women.
post #14 of 18
Deb25, I can't tell you how many women I know who way before they got married had the ENTIRE wedding already planned out. colors, flowers, dresses, the whole bit. out of my closest friends I'm the only single one, and the only one who doesn't have childern.

just 2 weeks ago, my best friend, who I have known since I was 12, said she was concerned that I wasn't happy because I don't have any immediate plans to marry my boyfriend. she said she just wanted me to know the happiness of marriage and childern. while I appreciate the concern behind it, why is it I can't be as happy as her if I'm not married & don't have kids? why can't I want something different for myself? why can't I concentrate on my career?

I like my life. I do what I want when I want. I pay my own way. I own my own townhouse. I don't need anyone to take care of me, financially. my boyfriend lives with me (when the army hasn't sent him away) and I enjoy our life together. he supports me emotionally and while he's not perfect we are happy. he's not sure he wants any more kids (he has one already) and I don't know if I want any. but I don't fit into what is expected of me, so I have friends and family who think something is wrong because I haven't 'settled' down. I went to NYC last week on a days notice & tomorrow I leave for LA for 5 days. i like not worrying about anything besides my cats.

rant over

post #15 of 18

I am in awe of you. Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and know exactly what you want out of life. I married early because my boyfriend and I had planned to live together first. My father said "No daughter of mine is going to live in sin." So, at the age of 20, I got married. 6 months after I got married, what does my father do??? Moves in with his slutty girlfriend (she had been married 3 times) who years later turned into my stepmonster. That's where the old saying "Don't do as I do, do as I say." My feeling is, and I hope no one will take offense at this (nothing personal Mr. Cat, Imagyne, Meowman, etc.) "A woman needs a man like a needs a bicycle."
post #16 of 18

really the credit goes to my mom & grandmother. my mom got married at 18 & never went to college. she really regretted not following her own dreams. growing up all I ever heard was 'you're going to get an education first & then worry about the boys' both my grandmother & my mom always encouraged me to be independant and discouraged me against getting married at a young age. while I was in college after my mom died, whenever I spoke to my grandmother on the phone, the first words out of her mouth were (with NO exceptions) 'how are your grades??' and then it was 'you're not too serious with that boyfriend of yours are you?' without that support I don't think I would be where I am now.

thanks so much for your words. In regards to my life I get more confusion at why I'm single than 'you go girl!' in fairness my friends do envy the ease in which I'm able to pick up & go, but they still can't believe I don't want to be married.
post #17 of 18
And vice-versa!

post #18 of 18

You go girl!!

Keep living your life by your own terms. There is definitely something wrong with people who attach more significance to a day than the partnership they are supposed to be building.
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