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economic disparity

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
I make more money, than Bill does. He is determined to live, within his income and does not like to accept money from me. The harsh reality is that I HAVE to contribute, both to maintain a comfortable lifestyle and for my own self-respect.

Approximately one-quarter of my monthly income goes toward basic living expenses: mortgage, truck payments and utilities. This eases the burden on both of us. Since I get paid bi-weekly, I buy groceries, every two weeks, too.

We each maintain our own vehicles (gas, insurance, etc. and support our own vices: tobacco and beer)

The house is in Bill's name but, he has made provisions to leave it to me. Mortgage insurance is cost-prohibitive, though and I would not be able to keep the house, if anything happens to Bill.

What I CAN afford, is premiums on a life insurance policy, that will pay enough to pay off the house. We are currently shopping for a policy. I don't mind the investment because it is protecting my home.

Bill says that he doesn't mind me doing this but, I get the feeling that it bothers him, not being able to "look after" me, completely. He's not one of these macho types but, he IS the kind of man who wants to take care of his family. I don't want him to feel emasculated but, he IS 13 years older than I am and I don't want to find myself homeless, in my later years.

After losing absolutely EVERYTHING, in my divorce, security is very important to me and I feel the need to be responsible for my own financial security. I believe that Bill understands this but, I don't want our economic disparity to undermine our relationship. I don't need Bill, for financial support but, I REALLY need his emotional support.
post #2 of 6
It sounds like a difficult situation. I would try to tell him that for so long he has been helping you out (while you were out of work, etc), that you feel that it is important to you to contribute now while you have the chance. Esplain that while you hope nothing happens to him in the near future, and while you espect to spend your lives together, you need to ensure that after he is gone that you are taken care of. I would suggest amybe getting a policy on the both of you, so he has support in case, God forbid, you are the 1st to go.
post #3 of 6
there's so many two income households out there. i don't think bill needs to feel threatened. he just needs to understand that a partnership does not make him any less a provider.

heck the house we live in is in my name as are most of the bills, investments, etc.

i am considering getting an insurance policy on duane (sounds so morbid) because if anything happened to him i could not pay off his debts and hold onto the house, either. he has a few retirement accounts that would help a little, but with an exwife and kids there is no guarantee they would be available for me to pay off his bills.

i hope bill will understand that money is not a measure of a man's worth, at least not to a lady such as yourself.
post #4 of 6
I think some of the folks here sell or work for insurance companies, they may be able to help you find just the right policy. Good luck in your search and I will ask hubby who we have our insurance through. Ask the mortgage company if they have a policy that you could sign up for.
post #5 of 6
I hear you loud and clear, Cindy. I will never, EVER be in a situation where I am not able to financially provide for myself.
post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
Bill is cool with the idea. I was making more out of it, than he was. He knows about my emotional state and understands my need for security. In addition, he doesn't want me out in the street and he doesn't want his drug-addled kid getting everything.

Mark is the beneficiary on my life insurance and Bill wants me to leave it that way. We're both going the pre-paid cremation route so, that's taken care of.
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