Am I crazy?

So, now that DH and I are in our own home (a rather large home for the two of us, but we plan on having and raising our children in it), I thought we could host Thanksgiving dinner at our place. I enjoy entertaining and I thought it might be a bit easier on my family.

After doing a informal count, we could have anywhere from 18-23 people, including DH and I. Our everyday dish set only serves 12 (actually 10, because we've broken two large plates) and our all-white dishes only serve 8. Putting both sets together does not make for a nice presentation (everyday is Sango Nova Black, white set has decorative edge).

Obviously, even everyday dishes that are nice are around $40+ for 4 servings. DH says that it's just too expensive to buy enough to serve 18-23 people (or 20-24 servings, seeing as most sets serve 4).

But, am I crazy for not wanting to serve family, for the first time in our new home, on dishes that do NOT match at all?

I've never know the dishes to change the taste of the food or make me love my relatives any less.

I understand what you're saying, but I guess I wouldn't do it. It's a lot of money to spend on dishes, especially when you have so many already. Is the family going to notice or care? If they don't care, then I don't think you should either.

I don't know if this is possible, but can you rent dishes? Do people rent dishes for weddings and such? Maybe they don't, I don't know.

Originally Posted by mrblanche

I've never know the dishes to change the taste of the food or make me love my relatives any less.

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Oh, I know, but it's about the presentation!

Originally Posted by clixpix

I understand what you're saying, but I guess I wouldn't do it. It's a lot of money to spend on dishes, especially when you have so many already. Is the family going to notice or care? If they don't care, then I don't think you should either.

I don't know if this is possible, but can you rent dishes? Do people rent dishes for weddings and such? Maybe they don't, I don't know.

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In all honesty, I HATE our everyday dishes. I have dreams of taking them outside and breaking each and every one of them. It's so sad. But I gave in to DH because I was tired and frustrated with wedding planning when we registered for them. I just didn't want to argue. lol

No your not crazy to want everything to match, but it is because you want everything perfect for your first time hosting Thanksgiving.

However having the family all together, making a fantastic meal and being able to do it in your own home will more then make up for a few mismatched dishes.

Have you thought about maybe enlisting a few china patterns from other family members and going for a wide variety making the whole affair Shabby Chic. which is quite popular these days.

I vote yes! But that's just because I personally wouldn't care if everyone had different plates. That isn't a big deal to me and I prefer a casual atmosphere. 2 years ago BF and I had 2 of our friends over for Thanksgiving since none of us has family in LB, and while we had matching plates and stuff, we don't have a big enough table for 4 people PLUS food, so it was "Grab your plate and fill it up in the kitchen!" Mashed potatoes and veggies in pots, etc... It was an awesome dinner!

I hope you can figure out a plan that works out ok!!!

Have you thought about checking some second hand shops or craigslist for a set of dishes that are inexpensive?
I think that even if your dishes don't match it sounds like it would be a lot of fun!

I voted no, but I think I meant yes! I agree that your relatives will probably not even notice the dishes - they will be enjoying your yummy food!

And if the food's not yummy, well, that is a problem.

Originally Posted by MonaxLisa

Have you thought about checking some second hand shops or craigslist for a set of dishes that are inexpensive?

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I second this if you feel you must have more dishes.

Will you be making all of the food or will some people be bringing a few things? I ask because if you are making everything it is going to be expensive! The money that you spend on new matching dishes might be needed for food.


Now this may sound bad but most of the holiday get-togethers, even with DH's rich side of the family, have used nice paper plates and plastic cups. When you get around 20+ people and then consider that some will be getting another plate/dish for dessert then you can quickly end up with 30 or 40 dishes to wash, plus silverware and whatever you used to cook and present the food in. Whether there will be younger children or those prone to breaking things present may be a point to consider, too.

For any large family gathering, we always used disposable for everything but the serving platters and stuff (no one wanted to be the one to wash all that). There are some nice disposable plates out there--not that they'll fool anyone, but they won't look tacky--for a lot less than buying that many place settings.

Edit: strange_wings posted while I was typing. Great minds!

I have seen very classy people who had NO matching plates or dishes. They had very nice stuff, antique and all, but they had bought it at many different places (and maybe stolen some of it from very swanky hotels), so it definitely did not match.

Personally, we bought Corelle. We bought place setting for 24, I believe, but put 12 of them in storage so it's no disaster if the pattern is discontinued and we break some.

I'd buy inexpensive simple dishes from somewhere like a dollar store but make sure they match. I wouldn't serve unmatching dishes lol...so you are not crazy..
If they don't match you have people thinking they got a smaller serving than the other person, etc....

You dont have to have the same color place settings to match ..... you can do every other place setting to match or every 3rd to match, but use the same napkin color. Have the table set before the guests arrive, so that it will look pulled together.

You can also rent plates and dishes, like Kelly said.

Originally Posted by ut0pia

If they don't match you have people thinking they got a smaller serving than the other person, etc....

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Usually only children would be immature enough to make an issue of such a thing.


As for disposable everything... Not silverware and knives, that's just cruel.

I think youre "crazy" to want it all to match based on the # of people...if it were for 12, Id say try to make it match, but let me put it this way: if a cousin of mine (for example) married w/o children hosted an event that sized and everything matched, Id think they were totally nuts to have everything matching - and yes, Id judge them a little for this, especially given our current economy. I certainly agree with others who mention the classier disposable option - not el cheapo white jobbies, but especially around Thanksgiving and Christmas there are some really decent options available.
The other thing is: will all those people really attend, or is that just your invite list? Often the main family hosted Thanksgiving in my family doesnt include EVERYONE as there are usually options for most people and some will always choose a different plan (husbands vs wifes family, staying home and not making a big deal etc.)....so you might not need as many as you think
Or, make everything deliberately NOT matching by going thrift - often plates can be as cheap as .25 and then everyone will have a unique experience

When you are hosting that many people you need to go the route of disposable plates and glasses. And divy up the cooking. For example, one brings the potatoes, another the veggies, another the salad, a couple bring dessert etc. You do the Turkey.

Dinner gatherings should be fun, not a huge amount of work. You get together to spend time with the people, not to slave for days on end cooking and then cleaning up afterward.

As others mentioned, when we have a big family gathering we use disposable plates and cups.

But if you wish to use the dinnerware you have, I'd go with Pami's suggestion.

Matching dishes is what Thanksgiving is all about!
Just kidding.


I think it's a silly thing to be concerned about.

I'd suggest checking out rental places in your area - in a lot of cities and suburbs, you can rent out linens, glassware, silverware and dinnerware for a pretty reasonable price (as well as extra tables and seating if you'd like, and coffee urns, etc.). That might be a way to go, or to give you some ideas of what you'd like. I don't think it's nuts to want to make a nice presentation, especially for your first big event - but don't make yourself crazy or drive yourself to the poorhouse!

My advice is to use the two sets of dishes that you have and use the money and energy (that you would spend on getting new dishes) instead on the delicious food and drinks you are going to serve.

Are you going to seat all those people? If so, when you set the table simply alternate dishes, every other dish will be from the same set. If they are different colors, use the centerpiece and napkins to bring the two colors together. And if you don't have enough real dishes, use paper plates for the kids.

If the dinner is buffet-style, nobody is going to see the different plates! Just stack the plates, really nobody cares.

I generally don't like using plastic or paper plates for dinner, real plates are so much nicer. But the focus will be on the food and the family, not on the plates. There are some really nice reusable or disposable plastic dishes and flatware that look and feel like the real thing.

Make sure you start cooking at least five days ahead of time, then you can relax and have fun at the dinner.