I can't believe I'm writing this

jessy

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Villy's story is here:

http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=200535

Yesterday Villy was breathing really quickly - she was taking 37 breaths per minute, to Roxy's 17. I called the vet and he said to bring her in right away.

When we got there he listened to her chest and he couldn't even hear her heart sounds because her chest cavity was so full of fluid.

We had the option of going for more surgery, which may or may not have worked. She had low grade heart disease as well as chylothorax.

I've kept looking into her eyes and she looked tired. I let her out yesterday morning and she had a mooch about the garden. She even managed to jump over the gate, climb under the neighbours van and get all dusty. She enjoyed the feel of the sunshine on her fur and the grass under her paws. She smelled all the things in the garden. I took her back in after around 15 minutes as I didn't want her to get too tired.

She was exhausted. I carried her upstairs to the litter tray as I knew she would have needed to go and hadn't. She hopped right in. She used to hate being picked up but she let me carry her.

When I was at the vets I made the decision to let her be peaceful. It was the hardest decision I've ever made.

She's 11, perhaps, we don't know for sure. I couldn't bear to see her suffer any more. She wasn't having the normal catty life that she deserved, she's just been able to sit on the bed, or the sofa. She's been ill for almost 8 weeks now. The surgery may have worked, and the heart disease may not have troubled her, for maybe 4 years, or it may not have worked and we may have been in the same situation in a couple of weeks.

My vet was brilliant, he came in from home and talked it all through with me. He would support whichever decision I made. He wieghed up the options. I felt as though everything we'd done over the last 8 weeks was in vain, but at least we tried. Did I let her suffer too long? Or not try long enough? I'll never know.

The vet laid Villy on her towel on my lap, he put an injection in her leg, we both stroked her and I held her as she had the first injection to flush out the catheter, then the next was the anasthetic. She simply fell asleep, peaceful and dignified. He left her on my lap for a few minutes then wrapped her in her towel, put her in her carrier and took her away.

I don't know what to do with her body. I live in a rented house so might not be here for long. I thought about getting her cremated, then putting her in a big pot and planting a rose on top. I don't know.

When the vet put the anasthetic through I wanted to shout out no no no stop, take it out, bring her back.

I want my baby back. I can't believe I'll never hear her beautiful voice again, or feel her fur, or stroke her, or rub her belly, or hear her purr.

I fed her some of her favourite food yesterday, I can't believe I'll never do that again.

I miss my baby. She's gone because of my decision. At least she's comfortable now and can breathe freely again.

This is the hardest thing I've ever done.

Roxy is alone now, I think she knows. She's a bit sad. I'm giving her lots of love. We're comforting each other.

I love you Villy, you were the most amazing cat. The four years we had together were amazing. You are so special, you didn't deserve to suffer at all. You only deserve happiness. Be happy my baby, we've been through so much together, you've carried me through the hard times, and I wish I could have saved you. You will be in my heart forever.
 

alleygirl

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Oh no, I'm so so sorry to read this. I've been following Villy's story for weeks now and I know how much you love her and how hard to tried to make her well. Sometimes its just beyond us though.

Rest in peace Villy
 

snake_lady

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I am so very sorry your loss


Please know in your heart, you've done right by her....she is in a better place now, and checking in on you from time to time
 

otto

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Villy, My heart is breaking for you. You were very Brave and did what was best for her, and now she is waiting for you at the Bridge, free of sickness.

I followed her illness thread but don't know her story of how she came to you four years ago. When you feel up to it would you mind sharing it? (or provide a link if there is a thread on it)

Roxy will miss her too, take comfort in each other. It's a terrible thing to go through, for both of you.

xo
 

libby74

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Oh Sweetie, I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. It's never easy to make that final decision, but deep down you know you did what was best for Villy. It sounds as if she had a wonderful life with you. Just remember, you let her go with love and dignity and compassion.
 

darlili

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I am so sorry for your loss - you did everything possible for her happiness, including this final, hard decision. Bless you and Villy,
 

kluchetta

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Oh, I'm so sorry, and I know how hard it is - no one should have to make that decision, but sometimes we do. At least she's at peace now. Be good to yourself.
 

gardenandcats

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I'm so sorry.This is the hardest thing to have to do. Know you did your best and it was her time..R.I.P.
 

carolina

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Oh no Jessy..... Oh no..... I so didn't want to see this.....
You poor thing hang in there.... Villy loves you very much, and now she is your angel
....
RIP little one... you fought a brave fight
 

hissy

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I applaud your courage, your bravery, your insight, your wisdom. You will see Villy again, I know it. This love affair is far from over. Do not give in to the second guessings and the "what if's" for they can destroy you. Place Roxy on your lap and tell her what happened. It may sound crazy, but it helps the resident cat to deal with the grief. They understand far more than people give them credit for. You fought the brave fight with a courageous cat. Their eyes tell you when they have had enough. YOu did do the right thing-
 

Ms. Freya

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Oh Jessy, I'm so sorry.

That's never an easy decision, but she knows you loved her and did what was best. Please don't dwell on it or second-guess yourself.

R.I.P Villy
 

jupeycat

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I'm so, so sorry to hear this, I followed your other thread and was really hoping she'd be ok. Give Roxy lots of cuddles and take care of both of you.
 

sarahp

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I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP Villy. I know it was a hard decision, but it's good you could allow her to pass away with dignity with you holding her


At my shelter, they do cremations, and put the ashes in a nice little memorial box with a plaque on the side with the kitty's information. Maybe you can ask for something like that, then decide what to do with the ashes at a later date.
 

jcat

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Jessy, I'm very, very sorry to hear that it was time to give up the battle. You and Villy fought so hard, but the time for her to go had come, and I applaud your for recognizing that and helping her to cross the Bridge in peace.

Rest in peace, Villy, knowing that one day you'll be reunited with those who love you.
 

rosiemac

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Jessy, i'm so, so sorry


No matter how much you try and prepare yourself for the worst it just doesn't make it any easier. You did everything you could have done, and more, we could all see that


Villy will have the sun on her fur and the grass under her toes again once she crosses the bridge, so don't you worry about that


Have a swift crossing over the bridge Villy, be happy again, but please look down on your Mum and Roxy every now and then to see that their ok


________________________________________
 

aileen06

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I'm so sorry for Your loss. I was following Your story and I know You did everything You could for Her. Rest in Peace Villy.
 

eilcon

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I'm so sorry for your loss.
I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you made the most loving and courageous decision you could for Villy. She knows that.


RIP precious kitty.
 

clixpix

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I'm so sorry you lost your precious baby


You both fought so hard, but the decision to stop fighting was hers to make, and she did that. All you did was listen, and do what she asked you to do. That takes true courage and love.


Play happily at the bridge Villy
 
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