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Men!!! (need to vent)

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
I've been complaining to DH for 2 weeks that I need power steering fluid in my car. I'm perfectly capable of putting it in myself, but I have NO idea where he hordes the fluids and oils for the car. I checked in the basement..nothing. We have a shed but it's locked and the key is on his keychain...which of course is always with him when he's not home. When he is home, it's too dark to check the shed because there isn't a light (and he can't find the flashlight )

So, for the past 2-3 weeks I've been fighting the steering on this car. It's not to bad when it's actually moving, it's worse when I'm sitting still or going slow, like coming out of a parking spot or something.

Anyway, he finally found the fluid yesterday and looked at it. I have a hole in the hose. So now, it's complete unsafe to drive, in his opinion. Funny, it was ok for me to drive it for 2 weeks, 30 miles each way to work, but now it's not safe to drive 1 1/2 miles to the store to get cat food. Guess what...I did it anyway...and survived!! (yeah, I could have walked but it's down hill most of the way. Getting there wouldn't have been a problem...coming back up carrying a 20lb bag of cat food would have sucked!)

Of course, this is the same man who, when I told him 9 months ago his car won't stay in 4th gear and it kept popping out, didn't believe me. Once it did it to him OMG, the transmission is going.

Why don't they listen to us? Having boobs does NOT make us stupid!

Ok, vent over. I feel better now.
post #2 of 21
I have learned that most men are doomsday prophets the world is going to end if the littlest thing goes wrong!
post #3 of 21
Shame on him.

The transmission thing, by the way, if you have a manual transmission, is a synchronizer wearing out. Get a bungee cord and hold the shifter in place.
post #4 of 21
Some thing kind of up that same road,I saw a story about men, women and sharing house work on my chezzey local news. It stated that men will make an attempt and do a half-hearted job so the female will will take the broom or whatever away and say, "Oh just let me do it." I have seen evidence of this in my own home. But I learned, I let him do his half done chores.
post #5 of 21
lol, good grief. Hopefully you'll be getting that hose fixed soon! I used to drive a car with no power steering, talk about a work out!
post #6 of 21
I pulled my arm out of socket and scraped my car when I was driving a huge '69 Plymouth and suddenly lost my power steering. Of course I only weighed 90 pounds back then.

When I was 21 I learned how to work on my own cars, but would always get "Are you sure you know how to install this (whatever it was)? Why don't you have your husband come in.?" at the parts stores. GRRR. Finally found one that was owned by a woman, and that was the end of the patronizing BS.
post #7 of 21
I finally gave up on getting my dh to do ANYTHING! He sits in front of his computer playing stupid video games all day long, and absolutely refuses to do anything else. Then he acts wounded if I get mad. He always asks if he can help bring in the groceries after I have already done it. He knows I am going to the store, but cannot seem to hear my VERY loud truck when I pull in.
I wanted him to go with me to get my truck inspected, but nooooo, I had to do it myself and got creamed on the inspection, so now I have to spend $300 to get stuff fixed so I can get a tag. I may even have to scrape off my tint on my @#$% windows.
Don't get me wrong, he is a very sweet guy, but sometimes I would like to smack him!
post #8 of 21
My DH won't accept that I am more astute when it comes to cars, He insists on checking my oil and being a part of the car repair decisions. I have to bite my tongue now that we're married. I secretly don't want him to have anything to do with the car
post #9 of 21
I've found that, in our home, it's not laziness so much as how important the task is to HIM. We've talked about this over and over again that even if it's not important to him, it's important to ME, therefore by proxy, should be important to him.

You just need to communicate.
post #10 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by emrldsky View Post
I've found that, in our home, it's not laziness so much as how important the task is to HIM. We've talked about this over and over again that even if it's not important to him, it's important to ME, therefore by proxy, should be important to him.

You just need to communicate.
That's the story here as well. My hubby is always busy doing something or other. The problem is the same as yours - he'll spend hours doing something he wants to do rather than the things we need to get done first. I get very frustrated and bite my tongue a lot.

He also doesn't listen to me. I told him I really needed new tires on the car and he kept saying they were OK. One day he checked the tires, long after I told him I needed new ones, and said the steel belts were showing and he apologized for not listening to me.
post #11 of 21
Ugh. My dad is the same way. He's a mechanic, so it's like I'm cheating on him if I take my car somewhere else. My brakes have sticking and dragging for months now due to a warped caliper that needs to be machined off at this point.... but hey! who needs brakes, right? They stop after all. Actually, the problem is that they won't let go so they're just overly ambitious.... so lets put it off a little more.
post #12 of 21
funny that, my hubby wont check my car, ive asked him to go and the oil and stuff so he can teach me how to check it properly and how to fill it ect, he expects me to already know.
He had a complete whinge when i got my car and needed the tyres pumped and i had no idea how to do them!

he is also one of those men who love to sit infront of the computer and play WOW all day grr!
He does do the gardening but geesh! for the last few days i was ready to smack him too!

thank goodness we are going on holidays on wednesday NO COMPUTER FOR A WEEK!!!!
post #13 of 21
My significant other totally takes care of the car maintenance on our vehicles and I really like this!
post #14 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan View Post
funny that, my hubby wont check my car, ive asked him to go and the oil and stuff so he can teach me how to check it properly and how to fill it ect, he expects me to already know.
He had a complete whinge when i got my car and needed the tyres pumped and i had no idea how to do them!

he is also one of those men who love to sit infront of the computer and play WOW all day grr!
He does do the gardening but geesh! for the last few days i was ready to smack him too!

thank goodness we are going on holidays on wednesday NO COMPUTER FOR A WEEK!!!!
OMG, don't get me started on WOW. I'm not saying my husband doesn't do things because he works he butt off...he just doesn't listen to me.

And, the last vacation we went on, he took the laptop with him so he could STILL play on the computer. What do they say? The difference between men and boys......?
post #15 of 21
Here's my take on this...

You say you fought the wheel for 2-3 weeks? Do you not have any places around where you live that sells PS fluid? I would have just gone and bought some...it's only like 3 bucks.

My 2 cents...
post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whisky'sDad View Post
Here's my take on this...

You say you fought the wheel for 2-3 weeks? Do you not have any places around where you live that sells PS fluid? I would have just gone and bought some...it's only like 3 bucks.

My 2 cents...
Good point. I used to try and boost DH's ego by letting him do all the car maintanance even though was capable, but when he started slacking I would just do it myself and keep quiet. Car repairs are too costly to risk letting something get worse becaus he was too "busy" to take care of a small thing. Since we traded in the old as guzzler for a smaller but more complex car the most either of us can do is check fluids!
post #17 of 21
I let the better half look after my car, he does get sick of me going on though haha every strange noise i hear i drag him to the car to listen
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whisky'sDad View Post
Here's my take on this...

You say you fought the wheel for 2-3 weeks? Do you not have any places around where you live that sells PS fluid? I would have just gone and bought some...it's only like 3 bucks.

My 2 cents...
Very true, and I should have. But we're tight on money and when I first mentioned it he told me we had some here and he would find it for me. It just took him 2 weeks to actually get around to it.
post #19 of 21
For what it's worth, some of the best mechanics I've ever met have been women. They often have a better "ear" when it comes to fine adjustments, etc.
post #20 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrblanche View Post
For what it's worth, some of the best mechanics I've ever met have been women. They often have a better "ear" when it comes to fine adjustments, etc.
Thank you! You make about the fourth man I have ever known who would even consider the possibility that a woman could be capable of mechanics. The buddy who grudgingly taught me the basics after a boyfriend made a mess of my car was amazed that I understood it.
Early in our relationship DH chewed out my SIL for calling me to find out why his car boiled over and letting me replace the radiator hose. It drove him nuts when he was working on a vehicle and I'd suggest something and be right.
Now that he can't see and I'm not strong enough to break a bolt loose, and cars are so darn complicated we no longer argue about it.... the silver lining to aging?
post #21 of 21
The good news is that modern cars are actually BETTER for women to work on, since much diagnosis is done with various computer tools, and many parts are pretty easily replaced with a minimum of brute force.

We once offered to pay for one of my female cousins to go to a mechanic's school, but by then she was too much committed in the family businesses.
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