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Hate it when people blame my cats *rant*

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I just needed to let off a little steam. Tonight i had a friend come round and he really criticisized me. My flat isn't looking the greatest I've had a really bad cold and I been a bit lazy the past few days. I also havn't been eating too well (I paid off a huge bill a couple a weeks a go that left me with not much money).

So anyway he came round and said you are spending all your money on those cats! You care more about those cats than yourself. Can't you see having this many cats is unhealthy, your living in a mess and not eating properly.

I feel so cross how dare he blame my cats!! The difficulty I am at the moment has nothing to do with them if anything they are helping me through this hard time. They are my family and they don't cost a fortune to look after. I feel so cross!!

Thanks for listening, this meowmy just needed to let off a little steam !!

I wonder if any one else finds people blame their felines when they are going through a rough patch....
post #2 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by RussianKitten View Post
I just needed to let off a little steam. Tonight i had a friend come round and he really criticisized me. My flat isn't looking the greatest I've had a really bad cold and I been a bit lazy the past few days. I also havn't been eating too well (I paid off a huge bill a couple a weeks a go that left me with not much money).

So anyway he came round and said you are spending all your money on those cats! You care more about those cats than yourself. Can't you see having this many cats is unhealthy, your living in a mess and not eating properly.

I feel so cross how dare he blame my cats!! The difficulty I am at the moment has nothing to do with them if anything they are helping me through this hard time. They are my family and they don't cost a fortune to look after. I feel so cross!!

Thanks for listening, this meowmy just needed to let off a little steam !!

I wonder if any one else finds people blame their felines when they are going through a rough patch....
I feel that if somebody comes to my house and lectures me on my house keeping skills or my cats, they can leave.
post #3 of 19
I have had people make stupid thoughtless comments. Like I borrowed money from my parents once before they knew about my 4th cat. My sister made some comment about the fact that they wouldn't be happy to lend me money just to find out I was "collecting" cats. Now mind you when I adopted Maggie, I knew I shouldn't, but she is now 4 & I have not taken any other cats home since. I don't consider 4 well cared for cats "collecting" cats. My Grandmother always makes a sour face when I say I have 4 cats (she has dementia & never remebers how many I have). For me it's mostly my family that makes comments, most of the people I consider friends have multiple cats & most other people just accept that I am a cat lady. I'm totally confident in my pet ownership. So I've learned to ignore them. It took a long time, but now I know it is my choice to have these cats. If I have to go without something, I am fine with that because they make it all worth while. I often wonder if people like that would say such in considerate things if they were human kids. One of my favorite jokes is the one about the sign put up in the house & one of the rules for visitors is that "to me they are children who walk on all fours & don't speak very clearly." To me that is what my babies are, I may not always understand them, but I have met children who are harder to understand than my cats.
post #4 of 19
Thread Starter 
Indeed !! I told him what for and I hope I never see him again. Well I might like to see his face when the two ferals from the form come next week that would be classic actually maybe not but the ideas funny.... muhahha..
post #5 of 19
We have 2 dogs, 3 cats, 1 horse & 1 toddler (and another on the way) and live on a single salary of an apprentice tradesman. No one who knows me well has EVER suggested I get ride of any of my pets. We may not have a whole lot of money, but we are the happiest poor people you've ever met!
post #6 of 19
I have gotten some rude comments from friends,family...but exes mostly.And not just about the cats,also about my other pets.I don't understand people like that! People that DON'T have pets are usually cold hearted and stuck up in my opinion!

Quote:
Originally Posted by abbycats View Post
I feel that if somebody comes to my house and lectures me on my house keeping skills or my cats, they can leave.
Exactly!
post #7 of 19
Oh and I am a dog person,but currently have my two cats.
People keep asking me WHY I have cats and not dogs,when I am a dog person and they automatically assume that since I am a dog person,I shouldn't have cats!
post #8 of 19
My parents are the worst...when Klein got sick earlier this month, they kept trying to blame it on all my other cats, which part of me thought might be true and I felt horrible! It turns out that what happened to Klein was acute liver failure. The vet said that as far as his tests showed there was no other sickness present that set it off, nothing that he could have gotten from another cat or any outside source for that matter. It seemed to be something that was just destined to happen; it's possible Kleiny had a bad liver from birth. But the 'rents still say that I'm to blame for having him around all the other cats. Then Mira has to go to vet because of an abcess and "if I didn't have those other cats, she wouldn't be fighting with them and it wouldn't have happened". They complain about the stench of my cats when they come over even though I'm an imaculate housekeeper and for the life of me I can't smell anything. Then they go and pull out all the stops: they told me they are willing to give me back my cat Roxy, who they kept against my will when I moved out years ago, IF I get rid of all my other cats, save Mira and Kipper! I love my Roxy, and it broke my heart that they wouldn't let me take her with me when I moved out on my own. So this is a dirty, underhanded move on their part. I'm not sure what to do here. It would be great to have Roxy back but I love all my cats and I'm not sure the sacrifice is worth it. So you see what I deal with?
post #9 of 19
If I may play amateur shrink here, I would hazard a guess that in ongoing power struggles with ones with parents, the issue that is seemingly causing all the problems (in my case it was my weight), is only a screen for the real issues that are so uncomfortable and frightening that they can't be confronted openly.

It has been said that it isn't until we reach our forties (in my case fifties) where we gain the self-confidence to set boundaries with the significant people in our lives.

I'm so sorry that your parents are using emotional blackmail to pull your strings.

Love,

Elizabeth
post #10 of 19
I have one daughter who is so jealous of my cats that it isn't funny. "you love your cats more than you do your grandchildren?" No, although I must say that my cats have much better manners than some of my grandchildren. "If you didn't spend all your money on your cats you could afford to (fill in the blank with something I have no interest in doing)"

It's an ongoing debate, although I might consider trading a cat or two for a human size bark collar.....
post #11 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by abbycats View Post
I feel that if somebody comes to my house and lectures me on my house keeping skills or my cats, they can leave.
I agree!!
post #12 of 19
Rant away - that would annoy me no end Some people love to criticize the life choices of others. We get loads of comments for having 4 kids, and we will probably end up wit at least 2 cats too.

If they don't like ti they should just shut up....
post #13 of 19
Did you tell him that since you'de been feeling so bad and hadn't had the energy to clean that, as a friend, he should help you do it??
post #14 of 19
What a jerk! He would never darken my door again.
I have few people that come to my house, and they know not to say a word about the cats. If they just do not care for cats and are polite about it, I will put the cats away from them. If anyone is the least bit nasty about them, they are ejected permanently from my house. The cats live here, people are welcome to get the h*ll out.
My daughter, granddaughter and sister are cat people, so i will never have to hear anything from them.
post #15 of 19
Thread Starter 
Arh well I never liked that guy much anyway. He wasn't covered in fur and didn't stalk around on all fours going meow and he didn't even have a taste for mice..
post #16 of 19
People can say what they want. Don't let anyone get to you. Everyone struggles at some point, kitties or not. So silly to blame the cats.
post #17 of 19
Flip him! People who want to criticize me for my cats can bite me! I have three and my dog and I love them all equally and they are all taken care of but heaven forbid the cats be here BF's stepmother is "allergic" (yeah thats a bunch of bullmalarkey) and she cant be around them so I gotta get rid of them well she can bite me and say hi from the outside because my babies are here to stay and if anyone tries to make me get rid of them flip them! Im keeping them I already told BF he tries to make me get rid of them Ill leave and I dont care I love them and they love me and thats all I need I dont need him to support me because Im the one supporting him! Argh people are so rude and ignorant sometimes!
post #18 of 19
I have four cats and a dog (our foster was adopted 2 weeks ago) and have never had an issue with anyone critisizing the way I tend to my animals or my life. BUT (!), I'm also a bit compulsive about cleanliness and have the advantage of working from home, plus my husband helps out any time I ask him to, so there's never much to criticize.

HOWEVER, the one thing that people do say that completely insults and annoys me to no end is when they refer to me as the "crazy cat lady". To me, this is a reference to a hoarder, someone with more animals than she can care for and whose entire life is enveloped by the massive collection of animals they've taken on. While I love my cats like they are my babies (because they are), I do have other interests and I am in no way unable to care for my animals. They are spoiled beyond belief.

I guess that's just my own little thing like we all have that make us twitch. It's insulting to me. I'm gonna man up one of these days and let people know how much it bothers me.
post #19 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by RussianKitten View Post
Thanks for listening, this meowmy just needed to let off a little steam !!

I wonder if any one else finds people blame their felines when they are going through a rough patch....

My family and friends don't scapegoat my cats. Many of my relatives have cats and they know my cats are helpful to me emotionally. My friends are aware of that as well.

I would tell your friend that he needs to precede his comments with "In my opinion" and that just because he says something doesn't make it true. I would also tell him you give zero credence to his simplistic snap judgments and simplistic snap judgments made by anyone (not just him)

On a related note, I've seen my brother's house. It's not tidy and there are no pets living there, just 2 children and 2 adults and tidyness is definitely not their forte. In other words my house is tidyer by far.

However, and this is a parallel I suppose, I have noticed people seem to love to attack my food choices (what I eat) because I rarely eat meat and if I do, it's usually fish, not beef. I laugh it off because they're wasting their breath. Ya I'm really going to change just because so-and-so-person says such-and-such. BIG laugh --Please.

But, oversimplifying is something I'm guilty of too --I must admit I'm rather quick to judge if I sense a friend is drinking too much alcohol and the ill effects are obvious to me and other people. It takes me less than a minute for me to open my mouth and blame the alcoholism. The difference is, alcoholism is a major problem. Owning a few cats usually isn't. Drug and alcohol abuse are 2 areas where I don't hold my tongue.

Another thing about receiving criticism: I always judge the source. Does the source impress me beyond the blue sky as some sort of uber example of human perfection??? ...the answer's always no, hence my laughter
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