I think I need help

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trillcat

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I am drunk, almost all the time.
Not really drunk, but maintaining, well yes drunk but longing for sleep, for life, for something I cant explain. My life is going away again, and this upsets me, but I drink some more and that goes away. Not good.
I wake up with etreme anxiety atacks, when I try to sleep or in waking, it always happens to me, hung over or not.
I dont even like coming here now for fear of what i have said, and will probably not be here in the am. (Yes, i am drunk, again)
It is all I know, how do I change that?
No 12 step, been there, done that
 

carolina

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Yes, you do need help... And the first step is recognizing it - which it sounds like you do.
Do you have family you can ask for help? Close friends you can open up to and hand your life to them? Do you have health insurance? Can you see a psychiatrist?
Can you afford going to a rehab?
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by Trillcat

It is all I know, how do I change that?
No 12 step, been there, done that
You already know how to change it.

Acknowledging the problem is the first thing;

AA and the 12 steps is the next;

And the knowledge and will power to realize that you can't cave to the fleeting craving, because that craving will go away.


However, some people can't and won't quit until they have hit bottom 100% and have lost absolutely everything: family, friends, kids, job, home and are living on the streets.

I hope you won't end up being the latter that loses everything before finding the will power to quit and stick to it.

You may need in patient rehab for a period of time to get you started.

There is also medication that the doctor can prescribe that will make you puke if you drink alcohol. Maybe ask your doctor about that. That in combination with AA might be the key for you.
 

4dogs3cats

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Trillcat,
You don't "think" you need help...You KNOW you need it. You just need to look in the right place. Even a semi-anonymous posting in a forum where you may not know anyone personally is a genuine cry for help. But, you have to help yourself. You need some one-on-one therapy to find out why you don't love yourself more. I sincerely hope you have the resources to get therapy. God Bless You.
 

carolina

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Honey, have you got out of that relationship?? Please tell me that this is not because of him abusing you?

What is your family situation? Can they take you in? It is clear to me you can not take care of yourself right now.... and it is ok to ask for help.... I think you should go in...
 

coolcat

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I´m so sorry my friend...

I´m not an expert BUT as you recognized you need help
P L E A S E Do it by your own......

Originally Posted by carolinalima

Can you afford going to a rehab?
.......
GO don´t wait more.......
 
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trillcat

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

You already know how to change it.

Acknowledging the problem is the first thing;

AA and the 12 steps is the next;

And the knowledge and will power to realize that you can't cave to the fleeting craving, because that craving will go away.


However, some people can't and won't quit until they have hit bottom 100% and have lost absolutely everything: family, friends, kids, job, home and are living on the streets.

I hope you won't end up being the latter that loses everything before finding the will power to quit and stick to it.

You may need in patient rehab for a period of time to get you started.

There is also medication that the doctor can prescribe that will make you puke if you drink alcohol. Maybe ask your doctor about that. That in combination with AA might be the key for you.
AA is not for me, I have been through the rehab of them, I am not quite sure why I am baring my soul to you all like this!
AA Is a good program, but not for all, not for everyone. I will admit I am powerless over the booze, but refuse to submit my will.
 
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trillcat

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Originally Posted by carolinalima

Honey, have you got out of that relationship?? Please tell me that this is not because of him abusing you?

What is your family situation? Can they take you in? It is clear to me you can not take care of yourself right now.... and it is ok to ask for help.... I think you should go in...
No not more abuse. I have to take care of my self, I am 42 years freakin old, I have to be able to do this on my own!!!
 

carolina

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We are not capable of doing everything, and you are in a situation where you are powerless over alcohol as you said above. You will not be able to do it on your own, which is why you said yourself you need help....
there is nothing wrong in needing help... nothing...
If your family can help, ask for their help...
 
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trillcat

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Originally Posted by carolinalima

We are not capable of doing everything, and you are in a situation where you are powerless over alcohol as you said above. You will not be able to do it on your own, which is why you said yourself you need help....
there is nothing wrong in needing help... nothing...
If your family can help, ask for their help...
My family has helped too much already, Im am the lost soul of the family, my Name is not Laura, its "laura how much is she drinking." I cannot let them know I have fallen again.
I think I CAN do this, with help, on my own!
 

calico2222

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I believe you CAN do this on your own, and we are here to help in any way you need. AA isn't for everyone...some people need the added support, others need to do it on their own, and I completely understand that. What matters is that YOU want to stop, not what someone else tells you.

We're here for you sweetie
 

carolina

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How can we help?? I mean... we can support you, but we can't physically take that bottle out of your hands.... we can't be there to give you a hug...
What kind of help do you need?
 
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trillcat

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Originally Posted by calico2222

I believe you CAN do this on your own, and we are here to help in any way you need. AA isn't for everyone...some people need the added support, others need to do it on their own, and I completely understand that. What matters is that YOU want to stop, not what someone else tells you.

We're here for you sweetie
Thank you. someone who understands, AA is not always the way.
I am going to have a rough road for the next few days, while drunk here no dont seem bad, but it will be hell. Fast heart beat, barfing, sweating oh, its a joy detoxing. Anxiety attacks, no sleep, sweating through your clothes but cold. It is a true joy
I Am going to do this!!!I
 

addiebee

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Laura - no ifs ands or buts. You need to get some professional help for the drinking. I spent years and years dealing with depression, terrible depression. There were a few times where I was having suicidal ideation. Yes, I wanted to end my life. My family came very close to hospitalizing me. I finally, finally admitted that I couldn't battle my demons on my own. A diagnosis of disthymia and several runs at therapy didn't help UNTIL I found the right therapist AND starting taking SSRIs. No kidding aside that Prozac saved my life.

I still battle depression and I still take antidepressants.

The only reason I am talking about this in a PUBLIC forum is that I want to help you see that you need help. You are worth saving. Life IS worth living and you cannot do that through either a depressive or an alcholic haze.

 
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trillcat

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Originally Posted by carolinalima

How can we help?? I mean... we can support you, but we can't physically take that bottle out of your hands.... we can't be there to give you a hug...
What kind of help do you need?
Play this song for me!
it just makes me feel like me.
 

carolina

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Originally Posted by AddieBee

Laura - no ifs ands or buts. You need to get some professional help for the drinking. I spent years and years dealing with depression, terrible depression. There were a few times where I was having suicidal ideation. Yes, I wanted to end my life. My family came very close to hospitalizing me. I finally, finally admitted that I couldn't battle my demons on my own. A diagnosis of disthymia and several runs at therapy didn't help UNTIL I found the right therapist AND starting taking SSRIs. No kidding aside that Prozac saved my life.

I still battle depression and I still take antidepressants.

The only reason I am talking about this in a PUBLIC forum is that I want to help you see that you need help. You are worth saving. Life IS worth living and you cannot do that through either a depressive or an alcholic haze.

amen to that
 

ut0pia

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I'm sorry you are going through this. Is there anything that you are really passionate about that you like to do? This won't solve the problem by any means but when you are detoxing and going through hell thinking about alcohol, it sure will make things easier if you have something to do that can distract you.
I agree that AA is NOT the only way. You can do it on your own..you just need motivation and it's usually hard to find motivation on your own. But you can do it.
 

snake_lady

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Originally Posted by calico2222

I believe you CAN do this on your own, and we are here to help in any way you need. AA isn't for everyone...some people need the added support, others need to do it on their own, and I completely understand that. What matters is that YOU want to stop, not what someone else tells you.

We're here for you sweetie
Very well said.

Laura, you've done a great think by admitting your problem. You've also opened a door for those of us on here who have battled our own "demons" and beat them to offer our support, our ears, and any words we can share. I think you'd be surprised at how many recovering addicts are on this board


It is definately not for the faint of heart, but you do have the strength deep inside of you...you've already shown a bit of that strength. If there's anything, anything at all that I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.

Noone can force you to do anything... and having learned it over and over, you cannot change a person unless they want to change. That's why I extend the offer of support, if you want it.
 

calico2222

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Originally Posted by Trillcat

Play this song for me!
it just makes me feel like me.
I love that song! Actually, I love Queensryche all together, but that is one of my favorites. Playing it over and over for you, hope you get strength from it. "or has it just begun....." something to think about.
 

mews2much

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At least you admit you have a problem.
You need to get all the booze out of your house and stay away from places the sell it.
I can ask a friend to pray for you if you want me to.
 
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