Possibly moving!! Some advice needed!

I think there are two issues here that need to be considered.

1. The ownership of the house. Will both of you own it as joint tenants, or will it only be in your BF's name? You need to consider this, as all couples can eventually split, and if he owns the house solely, then you may be screwed if he wants you to leave, even if you've put your money and sweat equity into improving it.

2. How much self-control do you have? If you've been drug-free for a year or more, then you should be able to stay away from old friends and habits that contributed to your prior troubles. Keep busy working and fixing up the new place, and stay away from people and places that would tempt you.

It sounds like an incredible deal that isn't likely to be offered again any time soon. However, you know yourself better than we do. Are you going to be able to stay strong when you get into a situation where people are pressuring you?

Take some time to think through possible situations that will be hard for you. Make a list of the things you are willing to do and the things you want to avoid entirely. Practice ahead of time what you're going to say. Write it down if that helps you. Be up front about it, but it doesn't have to be confrontational. Something like, "I'm clean and sober and I like the person I am now. That means I'm not going to parties (or whatever activity) where there are drugs. So thanks for the invitation, but no thanks." If it happens to be a person with whom you want to continue a relationship, suggest some other activity you can do together. Also, be prepared to stand up to those who say you are being rude---and they will say it. It's your life and you can't live it if you're constantly trying to tiptoe around other people's feelings.

that you make the right decision and things work out better than you ever expect.

It seems to be a very risky proposition which leaves you with next to no safety nets. You don't have the benefit of marriage, so that complicates things. You will be obliged to your bf's father since he is doing the financing for you, which is also risky. You are moving into a place where you said you NEVER EVER wanted to live again. Extremely risky.

Why don't you and your BF work on saving up more money so you can make this decision with all the right components in place? A "good deal" can be a terrible deal with so many potential pitfalls attached to it.

I keep thinking about it all day and so far Im thinking that it really seems like we cant pass this up. And the house would be in both of our names and if Im not in the bars or anything nooone will know that Im there and since all the people I used to hang out with are afraid of BF they really wouldnt dare try and stop and talk to me. Plus we only use cell phones and my number is EXTREMELY restricted...And Ive called my D&A counselor and talked to her about it and how she felt I would do and she thinks Id be ok expecially because I still go to once a month aftercare meetings and am in regular contact with our probation officer who is a friend of mine since 5th grade and is someone I know I can go to for help. So far everyone Ive talked to thinks that this is really just too good to be true and the man who owns the house cant afford it because his wife has cancer and he just doesnt have the time or money to put into the house!
We have decided that if we move ahead with all of this we have a friend who is willing to rent out a back bay in the garage and live in the house and help up get ready with cleaning and remodeling and painting and stuff and pay rent to cover the mortgage costs till we move in..And the bonus the payment is only 300 a mth thats only a hundred more than we pay now....We arent going to make and decisions yet and I appreciate everyones input!!! Ill keep you all updated!!

Keeping looking there is lots of sale all over. Don't do it. You will be tempted. You will have a bad day or a fight and end up where you don't want to be. Go somewhere else.

Does your BF know about your past? Why would he even suggest moving there?

BF knows everything he actually met me while I was in the midst of downward spiral! And we have actually completed our counties DUI court program together and have been as out P.O. puts it his "shining stars" anyone in recovery can tell you nothing is for certain and you have to take things one second one minute one day at a time. I cant say what could happen if we did move there. Id love to say that for sure Im not going to see anyone from my past and get roped into that scene again. HOWEVER after all the talking and phone calls Ive made today I feel quite a bit more self assured that IF this move did take place I have the proper tools in place to be able to make sure I dont fall down the same road as before. It also helps that I keep in regular contact with my sponser family friends and counselors from Gaudenzia. I feel like I could handle this move alot more. I dont want to live back in that town because I associate it with so many nightmares and so much pain. But I also look at it that I KNOW where everyone goes and hangs out and those arent places Im likely to be found nowadays one because I have a job that keeps me busy constantly and I thoroughly ENJOY making money and also becuase when Im off work Im either A taking care of the house and pets or B on here!!!! LOL...Im trying very hard to weigh this decision in every aspect and Im not making a choice as of yet just kind of talking it out thinking it out and mentally preparing for the worst.
The problem with looking to buy a house in this area there are slim to no house available with business ready garages and its either buy a house with property in the boonies and building a garage for BF to work out of which is basically what we have now and the problem with that is that NOONE but his friends who cant afford the type of work he doesn knows about him being there because we are so off the beaten path. And the last two places we looked at were so far run down it was more beneficial to completely tear down the whole house and garage. This place is just mostly cosmetic work which is what we were hoping to find. And we have been having some ups and downs lately and a lot of that is due to us being stressed tired cranky and just being ourselves. We have since worked out most of our problems in about 3 days worth of screaming yelling and terrifying our pets but things have been amazing granted not without their moments of pure h e double hockey stix but hey its life. I really appreciate everyones input on here!! You guys are adding more things for me to think about...Ive got some more people to talk to and Im going to keep thinking but HEYY Guess what everyone!! 12 more days till my 25th birthday!!!! ) haha Lets end on a positive note!!

Much love you you fellow TCS lovers!!!!!!!

*Tyler*