Did anyone keep thier last name?

I just got married on Thursday, and I know Jon wants me to take his name. I kind of want to have both our names. Just writing Krysta Farber out just looks sad, like it's missing something. It's been Krysta Nelson for 23 years and now I'm not? I'm not that big of a feminist but maybe that's part of it; I want to recognize and represent who I was before I got married. But of course I want to recognize and represent that I got married too. I really should discuss it with Jon further. I don't see what wrong with having both last names and then I would still be myself and Mrs. Farber.

Anyone have a story, words of wisdom or advice?

I hyphenated. My dad is a pretty reputable lawyer in town and I'm still hoping to take over the firm. Given that I wanted to keep my surname so that if/when I take over I can keep the familiar name. There are days I wish I had made my maiden name a middle name instead because now I have a different last name from both my hubby and son but it's done now. Had it not been for the firm I would have made it a middle name. See, I was 28 when we got married and I was adopted so I take a lot of pride in my name. There was no way I was going to forsake it completly even if I didn't want to take over the firm.

I took my husband's last name, but if it could have worked out, I would have used both or hyphenated. However, Cloud Case or Cloud-Case just wouldn't have worked right. So it's just Case now.

I spent my whole life hearing, "Wow, what a cool name!" and now I just get, "Jade is a pretty name." It does change things a lot.

When I got married a few years ago I did take my husband's last name, we are divorced now, but if I ever do get married again I will not change my name. It is a real PITA to change it on everything and then change it back

I dropped my middle name and use my maiden name instead. If I'm ordering takeout, I'm Angela Jones, if I'm signing legal papers, I'm Angela Mabrey Jones.

Originally Posted by nurseangel

I dropped my middle name and use my maiden name instead. If I'm ordering takeout, I'm Angela Jones, if I'm signing legal papers, I'm Angela Mabrey Jones.

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I think I might do that. I think Jon be good with that too.

When I married I just used my husband's name. When I got divorced I took my maiden name back legally, there were no kids involved so it wasn't a big deal.

Originally Posted by nurseangel

I dropped my middle name and use my maiden name instead. If I'm ordering takeout, I'm Angela Jones, if I'm signing legal papers, I'm Angela Mabrey Jones.

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I do the same thing. Technically I have a hyphenated last name but if it's something non-consequential then I use DH's last name.

I don't get the "sadness" over a name. Names don't make a person who they are. IMO you should be proud enough to take your husband's name as you are now a part of him. The "two become one". Names don't change you at all. You are still two individual people but share the same last name.

I could not wait to change back to my maiden name after the divorce and couldn't wait to change it again when I remarried!

BTW the number one reason why a guy would back out of a marriage (when engaged) is the refusal for the woman to take his last name! This was on a radio program that did guessing on the #1 answers to surveys.

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

BTW the number one reason why a guy would back out of a marriage (when engaged) is the refusal for the woman to take his last name! This was on a radio program that did guessing on the #1 answers to surveys.

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Well, maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't want to marry a guy who wasn't comfortable with my making the choice for myself!

I’m not married , but I have let my boyfriend know if we do get married I will be keeping my last name, I wouldn’t even consider changing it. I even offered for him to change his last name to mine! LOL. He didn’t want my last name and told me it’s no biggie that I keep my last name and do whatever pleases me. So at least I know that won’t be an issue.

We were having issues with the children’s last name. We did argue over what last name the kids should have. We ended in compromise that the kids will have his last name as long as they are raised Jewish (he is Catholic, from a somewhat religious family).

So it all works out in the end =). Its very important to me to have a Jewish family, and its very important to him that the family have his name.

I have a few friends for whom this is a real issue in their mariages. The women don't want to take their husbands' last names for various reasons. I see their point, fair enough if it means that much to them, but personally it was never an issue with me at all. I like my new last name and didn't think twice about changing it.

My BIL and his wife go by both their names hyphenated. The children go by his last name only.

In the Province of Quebec, Canada, a woman is not allowed to take her husband's name after marriage - she must retain her maiden name.

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

I don't get the "sadness" over a name. Names don't make a person who they are. IMO you should be proud enough to take your husband's name as you are now a part of him. The "two become one". Names don't change you at all. You are still two individual people but share the same last name.

I could not wait to change back to my maiden name after the divorce and couldn't wait to change it again when I remarried!

BTW the number one reason why a guy would back out of a marriage (when engaged) is the refusal for the woman to take his last name! This was on a radio program that did guessing on the #1 answers to surveys.

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I do want to take his name, as I said, it has nothing to do with not being proud. And obviously if someone would back out of a marriage over something as stupid as a name, there were other issues to begin with. Something wrong there.

When I get married we're both going to take on each other's names, I think it sounds quite posh and only fair that we both have to make a change.

My first marriage I took his name. This one I kept the one I'd had for several decades. The only place I am known as Mrs. H is the Water Utility., who would not accept the contract under two seperate names. So when I get junk mail addressed to Jennie H, I know it was the water co that sold the list!

When I got married, I took my husband's last name. I kept it when we divorced (probably under the misguided optimism that we would eventually work it out...) Now, 20+ years later, everything I have, including my education, my home, my entire identity, is my ex-husband's last name. I wish I had returned to my maiden name (even though nobody can pronounce it.) Ah well, hind sight is always 20/20.

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

When I got married a few years ago I did take my husband's last name, we are divorced now, but if I ever do get married again I will not change my name. It is a real PITA to change it on everything and then change it back

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I will never ever ever again change my last name.... I don't think there is anything wrong in keeping your name... On the contrary - this is a tradition that should be long gone... you are not his property.... is he changing his name??

Originally Posted by carolinalima

I will never ever ever again change my last name.... I don't think there is anything wrong in keeping your name... On the contrary - this is a tradition that should be long gone... you are not his property.... is he changing his name??

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Yeah that!