Did anyone keep thier last name?

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

I don't get the "sadness" over a name. Names don't make a person who they are. IMO you should be proud enough to take your husband's name as you are now a part of him. The "two become one". Names don't change you at all. You are still two individual people but share the same last name.
I can understand the "sadness" behind it.

All your life you are known by a particular name: Your father's name. It's become your identity. Suddenly 25 years later you are asked to give it up and take on a different name.

Yes, you are the same person, but it's also like you are relinquishing something that has been part of you and your life for 25 years. Something that your father gave you.

I know when and if I ever get married, I'm going to keep the name that I have. People marry each other for the person that they are, not because of their names. It shouldn't matter that one doesn't want to change their name.

Besides, why should the woman have to change her name to the man's? Why can't he change his to her last name instead? Chances are he wouldn't and doesn't want to because his last name is part of his identity.
 

wellingtoncats

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I can understand the "sadness" behind it.

All your life you are known by a particular name: Your father's name. It's become your identity. Suddenly 25 years later you are asked to give it up and take on a different name.

Yes, you are the same person, but it's also like you are relinquishing something that has been part of you and your life for 25 years. Something that your father gave you.

I know when and if I ever get married, I'm going to keep the name that I have. People marry each other for the person that they are, not because of their names. It shouldn't matter that one doesn't want to change their name.

Besides, why should the woman have to change her name to the man's? Why can't he change his to her last name instead? Chances are he wouldn't and doesn't want to because his last name is part of his identity.
Doesn't always have to be your father - I have my mother's last name
 

oscarsmommy

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I'll be changing my name to Trav's. Although my name I have been made fun of my whole life(those of you who know me know how that would be
)


I feel it is the end of one family and the beginning of another. My last name will end with me anyways. There are no boys in my family
 

pushylady

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Originally Posted by Yosemite

In the Province of Quebec, Canada, a woman is not allowed to take her husband's name after marriage - she must retain her maiden name.
Huh! I didn't know that. I know that in Italy (and I assume other European countries) women keep their maiden name.

Originally Posted by WellingtonCats

Doesn't always have to be your father - I have my mother's last name
Good for you! It does seem rather antiquated that the man assumes ownership of the wife and kids!
 

kimberleigh

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I took my husband's name. I didn't even think of not taking it. To me, getting a new last name is showing that I'm opening a new chapter in my life and sharing it with someone I love.
 

calico2222

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I took my husband's name. Not that I wasn't proud of my family name, but it was 11 letters and took forever to write! Now, my last name is 4 letters...saves a lot of wear and tear on the hand.

When I went to the social security office to legally change it, the worker automatically put my maiden name as my middle name and I almost didn't catch it since I was so used to seeing it after my first name.

Of course, using my husband's last name I now sound like a character from a children's story (Hope Hare). Hmmmm, should I change my middle name to "The"?
 

cococat

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It is very common to see the last name of the wife like this "Smith-Wilson", instead of just taking one last name together to represent the family. Maiden names go in the middle name spot all the time it seems now.
 

missymotus

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Originally Posted by Yosemite

In the Province of Quebec, Canada, a woman is not allowed to take her husband's name after marriage - she must retain her maiden name.
I got married in Montreal so didn't change it, but wanted to keep my own name anyway. And since we are no longer together I didn't have to change anything back
 

twstychik

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Besides, why should the woman have to change her name to the man's? Why can't he change his to her last name instead? Chances are he wouldn't and doesn't want to because his last name is part of his identity.
A friend of mine took his wife's last name when they got married... why? Because his name was a part of his identity that he wanted to get away from. It works both ways and I agree with others that if a name is such a big deal then there are likely other issues at hand.

"A rose by any other name is still a rose." ~WS
 

binkyhoo

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I kept both. I got married later on in life and did not want to run around changing every thing. On some counts I use my maiden, onsome counts I use his, on some counts I use both. I have never had a problem.
 

seiko7

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I am a newbie here but here it goes
I kept my last name,,,I have been married for 13 years(I was 35 when I got married)
I did not give the option...thus no decision for the other person's part.This was not a discussion,tho I did have my own special reasons.
Easy
 
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