I dont know if its just me or just today or these past two years but it seems like THOSE days just come more and more often! And more and more often it feels like the days just keep getting worse. If I may vent a little to all of you people who will read/listen...I appreciate it!
In the past two years Ive hit the lowest low ever in my life, I lost my daughters whom I still love dearly, my mother is adopting them because it was decided among family that Im just not a good mother despite loving my daughters. I was in that time heavily addicted to drugs and couldnt manage to function without them. Im glad to say that at this moment Im ten days away from 19 mths sober from drugs and alcohol...I even graduated the county DUI court program which consisted of extreme outpatient rehab, house arrest and probation contact twice a week and bi weekly court meetings with a judge personally involved in my case. I am currently holding down a job granted its not the greatest job but its a job and in my area they are few and far between to get nowadays. I have an amazing boyfriend whom I love dearly but we are not without our own issues within our relationship..Trust being the main thing and that of course puts additional strains on everything. We have both graduated DUI court together and that has helped both of us continue on our road thru recovery and sobriety. Ive also gained the love of a gorgeous mini doxie named Franklin who at this moment is driving me bananas my lovey dovey pork chop kitty FatMan whom I adopted from a friend who could no longer afford to feed him, Hercules my abandoned bottlefed 2 yr old who is thriving even though he was abandoned by his mother at birth and my lovely deaf kitten GiGi who is a bundle of energy and I love seeing her thriving inside and playing with Frankling. But through all this good stuff comes the strain and pain of being a resposible adult in society. Bills, uncertain income are the worst days. There are sometimes I can go to work needing to make over a hundred dollars and Ill be lucky if I make fifty. And its stressful my boyfriend lost his job because neither of us have licenses and the dealership he used to work at was going to take him back till 3 mths after his license eligibilty came in he got another letter from PENNDOT saying he lost his license for another 5 years. I just found out that I havent gotten my license back because probation LOST all my paper work and now its my job to hunt everything up and get it to them so I can get my license back and dont have to mooch rides of anyone anymore.
Right now I feel like this is all getting to be too much...Life is just getting to stressful, quite literally I can say I have NO friends in which I can call and talk to and vent about this stuff and that just adds more because I keep it all bottled up inside. And if anyone has read my other thread about Herc and GiGi you know my added stresses of hunting up low cost spaying and neutering services and so far in my hunt for these Ive been unable to contact anyone in my area thats willing to help the only place Ive found that can help me this moment is three hours away and after talking to my mom who is my ride everywhere she is unable to take me to and from to get them fixed. So now Im also hunting to rehome either Hercules or Gigi if I cant find clinic/vet help......I just dont know what to do anymore......Living off a waitress income for two adults with fines/costs (300 a mth) rent (200) electric phone and food....Its just a little too much I really feel like Im not doing anything right anymore!!! I feel like Im an irresposible pet owner and an irresponsible human all together!!
Thank you for listening to me vent and just letting me rant on here!! I love this site and all the advice you all give to everyone involved...I take everything you all say to heart and appreciate your wisdom...
Best wishes and health to everyone on TCS!!!!
*Tyler*
In the past two years Ive hit the lowest low ever in my life, I lost my daughters whom I still love dearly, my mother is adopting them because it was decided among family that Im just not a good mother despite loving my daughters. I was in that time heavily addicted to drugs and couldnt manage to function without them. Im glad to say that at this moment Im ten days away from 19 mths sober from drugs and alcohol...I even graduated the county DUI court program which consisted of extreme outpatient rehab, house arrest and probation contact twice a week and bi weekly court meetings with a judge personally involved in my case. I am currently holding down a job granted its not the greatest job but its a job and in my area they are few and far between to get nowadays. I have an amazing boyfriend whom I love dearly but we are not without our own issues within our relationship..Trust being the main thing and that of course puts additional strains on everything. We have both graduated DUI court together and that has helped both of us continue on our road thru recovery and sobriety. Ive also gained the love of a gorgeous mini doxie named Franklin who at this moment is driving me bananas my lovey dovey pork chop kitty FatMan whom I adopted from a friend who could no longer afford to feed him, Hercules my abandoned bottlefed 2 yr old who is thriving even though he was abandoned by his mother at birth and my lovely deaf kitten GiGi who is a bundle of energy and I love seeing her thriving inside and playing with Frankling. But through all this good stuff comes the strain and pain of being a resposible adult in society. Bills, uncertain income are the worst days. There are sometimes I can go to work needing to make over a hundred dollars and Ill be lucky if I make fifty. And its stressful my boyfriend lost his job because neither of us have licenses and the dealership he used to work at was going to take him back till 3 mths after his license eligibilty came in he got another letter from PENNDOT saying he lost his license for another 5 years. I just found out that I havent gotten my license back because probation LOST all my paper work and now its my job to hunt everything up and get it to them so I can get my license back and dont have to mooch rides of anyone anymore.
Right now I feel like this is all getting to be too much...Life is just getting to stressful, quite literally I can say I have NO friends in which I can call and talk to and vent about this stuff and that just adds more because I keep it all bottled up inside. And if anyone has read my other thread about Herc and GiGi you know my added stresses of hunting up low cost spaying and neutering services and so far in my hunt for these Ive been unable to contact anyone in my area thats willing to help the only place Ive found that can help me this moment is three hours away and after talking to my mom who is my ride everywhere she is unable to take me to and from to get them fixed. So now Im also hunting to rehome either Hercules or Gigi if I cant find clinic/vet help......I just dont know what to do anymore......Living off a waitress income for two adults with fines/costs (300 a mth) rent (200) electric phone and food....Its just a little too much I really feel like Im not doing anything right anymore!!! I feel like Im an irresposible pet owner and an irresponsible human all together!!
Thank you for listening to me vent and just letting me rant on here!! I love this site and all the advice you all give to everyone involved...I take everything you all say to heart and appreciate your wisdom...
Best wishes and health to everyone on TCS!!!!
*Tyler*
