How to meet new people?

duchess15

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The relationship I was in did not end well. It wasn't on my part either. However, there were quite a few things that he did/did not do that bothered me. He did not put me first as he should have.

Basically, his mom hated me and did not like anything about me. Her reasons were unwarranted and she had no evidence to back it up. She even insulted me which really made me mad. She also had no compassion for another human being so that made me realize that she is a bitter, old woman who deserves what she gets. So he chose his family over me.

What is the best way to meet new people? What really works? I am not as outgoing as some people, but I have gotten a lot better. I am also shy at first, but will open up more once I feel more comfortable.
 

mismaris777

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I'd like to know too- how does one go about getting to know people? Especially when they don't really have the chance to be around people often?
 

mrblanche

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Turn off the computer and go where the people are.

Duchess, the problem is that no guy is ever good enough for a woman's daughter. You just have tolerate it, with the support of the guy. If he won't support you against his mother, kick him to the curb, because you are in for long years of misery if you stick with him.
 

blast-off-girl

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I'm not sure where you live. However, there is an interesting site called Meetup.com. Basically, the site offers meet-up groups for a variety of interests throughout the USA. It's not a dating site but I've known people who have connected because of mutual interests. I have even met new friends because of Meetup. I joined several groups including film, doll collecting, trivia, etc. There is something for everyone.
 

going nova

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I've always met interesting men in class! Take a class in something that interests you- cooking, a language, a sport, dancing, etc. You'll already have a common interest to talk about and discussing an assignment is a great excuse to get someone's phone number.
Maybe you can take a conversational class in a foreign language so your assignment is to chat someone up.

Maybe you could meet a compassionate man through volunteer work?

I'm pretty shy about starting conversations, but I'll talk with anyone who talks with me. I think it helps to turn up the corners of your mouth so you have a slight smile, it makes you look approachable. At least, I think this works for me. I usually put a scowl on my face if I don't want people to talk to me.
 
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duchess15

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Those are some good ideas! I was going to go back to the craft place also to see if I could take some classes. I am in audubon (birding), but most of the members are older.


The problem with classes is - I work 8-5 so most of the time I can't take one because I work during those hours.

I was also thinking of going back to the shelter to volunteer.

Anyone ever try eharmony?
 
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duchess15

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Originally Posted by mrblanche

Turn off the computer and go where the people are.

Duchess, the problem is that no guy is ever good enough for a woman's daughter. You just have tolerate it, with the support of the guy. If he won't support you against his mother, kick him to the curb, because you are in for long years of misery if you stick with him.
I no longer see or talk to him. He is a mama's boy and I told him what I thought. He can either take my advice or not.
 

binkyhoo

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I feel for you. Thats a hard one for a shy person. I find it hard to take myself new places alone. I like the classes idea. At least it is getting out of the house and socializing for a bit. 3yr back I went to the local university and got 10 more credits in chemistry ( which I need like a hole in the head), but I had a blast doing the lab with the peoples.

Chemistry is not everyones cup of tea
but the idea is just as well.
 

binkyhoo

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Originally Posted by Duchess15

Anyone ever try eharmony?
My cousin met his wife on eHarmony. It is very expensive tho. i took the test and most of my matches where well over 200 miles away, some in other states. But I would recommend taking the free personality test, and then decide if it is for you. The test is free, but you have to pay if you want to communicate with such matches.

One more thing, make sure you have the time. It took me 3 hrs. And give them a spam email account.
 

snake_lady

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Originally Posted by Duchess15

Anyone ever try eharmony?
My next door neighbour and friend has been with her partner for bout 6mos now, she met him over eharmony.

My husband and I, first met 13yrs ago on a telephone dating service. (kinda like the online dating thing...you place an ad, and respond to those you find interesting)

 

oscarsmommy

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My sister met my now Brother-in-law on match.com. They swear by it since they are so great for each other
 

mrblanche

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My sister met her husband on a dating service (this was 20+ years ago).

Just a warning. After her first date, she thought, "What a dork!" But eventually she DID marry him!
 
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duchess15

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Originally Posted by mrblanche

My sister met her husband on a dating service (this was 20+ years ago).

Just a warning. After her first date, she thought, "What a dork!" But eventually she DID marry him!
That is funny!
I just wonder how you would trust someone enough, you know? I'm also very cautious.

I'll probably be an old maid!
 

tigerontheprowl

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Well Sabrina you sound exactly like how I used to be. I was way too shy to go talk to women (I'm a guy). I could start a conversation, but within minutes, it would die. I've got a lot more confidence now and here's a little tip. If you go talk to a guy, one of 2 things will usually happen. Either he will be completely uninterested, in which case you will probably never see him again anyways. Or he will be interested and will ask for your number and probably call you to get together with you.

Anyone who isn't interested or doesn't want to get involved with anyone or whatever the case may be, don't let them get you down. Sooner or later you will find the right person for you.

As far as how to go about meeting new people, take a class, go to the gym, and if you know of any parties that your friends are having, I would suggest that too. And contrary to popular belief, avoid bars and clubs. From a male standpoint, I can tell you that we generally don't go to bars to meet women. Sometime we will end up leaving with someone, but we usually just go to bars to get drunk or to celebrate something. Either way, most of the people there will be drunk and so they will not be the same person when they are sober.
 
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duchess15

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Originally Posted by TigerOnTheProwl

Well Sabrina you sound exactly like how I used to be. I was way too shy to go talk to women (I'm a guy). I could start a conversation, but within minutes, it would die. I've got a lot more confidence now and here's a little tip. If you go talk to a guy, one of 2 things will usually happen. Either he will be completely uninterested, in which case you will probably never see him again anyways. Or he will be interested and will ask for your number and probably call you to get together with you.

Anyone who isn't interested or doesn't want to get involved with anyone or whatever the case may be, don't let them get you down. Sooner or later you will find the right person for you.

As far as how to go about meeting new people, take a class, go to the gym, and if you know of any parties that your friends are having, I would suggest that too. And contrary to popular belief, avoid bars and clubs. From a male standpoint, I can tell you that we generally don't go to bars to meet women. Sometime we will end up leaving with someone, but we usually just go to bars to get drunk or to celebrate something. Either way, most of the people there will be drunk and so they will not be the same person when they are sober.
I knew about the bars and clubs.
Thanks for the advice! I do go to the gym about twice a week to keep in shape.

I wish I could take a class, but it is always during the time that I work.
 

mrblanche

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The best places I have heard of are classes, laundromats, and churches.
 

binkyhoo

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Originally Posted by mrblanche

Turn off the computer and go where the people are.

.
Hey I met my Hubby in a Yahoo chat room! Realistic, I just got lucky on that one. We talked for 2 yrs before we ever met face to face. And we did do alot of phone time. Now we are married with Cats and Rats.


I do like the church idea too if you are so inclined.
 

snake_lady

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In this day and age, it seems alot more people are meeting their SO's online


I guess it all depends on your situation/age though.

I went through the telephone dating service because I didn't do the bar scene, am not a church goer, and at the time I was a single stay at home mom..... not a whole lot of "meeting people" oppurtunities.

Good luck with meeting someone
Remember tho, it usually happens when you aren't deliberately "looking".
 
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