Okay, so this is a bit of an odd thing I've been dwelling on lately.
I'm friends with a number of my work colleagues outside of work. About a year back, one of these friends (I'll call her J) did something I found really hurtfull - basically threw me and two of our other friends under the bus to try and get a position at work that she wasn't qualified for...it didn't work and she ended up basically being black-balled by management for the attempt. Since we still work together, I really pulled back from the firendship, but kept up civilities at work. J really doesn't see anything wrong with what she did and I figured I couldn't change her so was just making the best of the situation since we stil had to work togeher, but I stopped going to anything with her outside of work.
Fast forward to now and J's just gotten back from Maternity leave. I'm happy for her, since she was really excited about the baby, and congratulated her. Now heres my dilemma. I usually make gifts for any and all of my friends who have babies. All of my colleagus who've had children since I worked with them had baby blankets or sweaters. I custom made a set of curtains as a housewarming gift for my supervisor (she picked the fabric) and just finished an anniversary quilt for another friend. I've not made a present for J and I don't really intend to.
While I'm not really angry over last year's incident anymore, I just don't really consider her a friend and definately not one I'd hand-make something for. I'll buy something little as a congratulations, but she'll be the only person at work who I didn't make something for and for some reason I feel odd about that. Not guilty, just a little sad. My husband thinks I'm just feeling sad over the loss of the friendship. What do you guys think?
Sorry for the vent, I've just been stewing a bit and thought it might help to get this out.
I'm friends with a number of my work colleagues outside of work. About a year back, one of these friends (I'll call her J) did something I found really hurtfull - basically threw me and two of our other friends under the bus to try and get a position at work that she wasn't qualified for...it didn't work and she ended up basically being black-balled by management for the attempt. Since we still work together, I really pulled back from the firendship, but kept up civilities at work. J really doesn't see anything wrong with what she did and I figured I couldn't change her so was just making the best of the situation since we stil had to work togeher, but I stopped going to anything with her outside of work.
Fast forward to now and J's just gotten back from Maternity leave. I'm happy for her, since she was really excited about the baby, and congratulated her. Now heres my dilemma. I usually make gifts for any and all of my friends who have babies. All of my colleagus who've had children since I worked with them had baby blankets or sweaters. I custom made a set of curtains as a housewarming gift for my supervisor (she picked the fabric) and just finished an anniversary quilt for another friend. I've not made a present for J and I don't really intend to.
While I'm not really angry over last year's incident anymore, I just don't really consider her a friend and definately not one I'd hand-make something for. I'll buy something little as a congratulations, but she'll be the only person at work who I didn't make something for and for some reason I feel odd about that. Not guilty, just a little sad. My husband thinks I'm just feeling sad over the loss of the friendship. What do you guys think?
Sorry for the vent, I've just been stewing a bit and thought it might help to get this out.