I am really hurting right now. Someone I had been friends with for 8 years just DUMPED me for no reason. I have no clue what happened. I have asked a couple of times and I get lame-o responses.
Now understand that this person, Christina, and I have been through a lot together. I considered her one of my best and dearest friends, as well as a colleague and a little sister of sorts. When she had no place to go on NYE, I would invite her over.
I made her first trip to NYC possible. She was afraid to go there and I was her enabler and tour guide. We stayed for FREE in my brother's city studio apt. That was the third week of Feb... Afterwards, there were a few emails back and forth. Then... I noticed she stopped answering my emails. Silence. Crickets chirping.... I called in April. Veeerryyy uncomfortable convo. I could tell she really didn't want to be on the phone with me.
Fast forward - we always celebrated each other's birthdays!! Dinner, funny cards, etc. For my 50th????? NOTHING. Nada. Zilch. Oh, a happy bday mention on my facebook page that I didn't even see until earlier this week.
I am not stupid. I know when I am being shunned. I wrote her this note, titled can we talk?:
My 50th birthday came and went. No word from you. I haven't seen you or hardly spoken to you in months - since the trip to NY. I asked a while back if I said or did something to offend you and you said no. But it seems that this friendship of nearly 8 years is over on your part. This makes me very sad. I don't just think of you as a friend and a colleague, but as a little sister. So cutting me off without so much as an explanation is very confusing to me. If you wanted to hurt my feelings, congrats - you did a great job.
If you don't wish to be connected or in touch with me anymore, that's ok. That is your perogative. I just would like to understand why. And if that is your decision, I ask one small favor from one professional to another. We worked together all those years and I think it was a good working relationship. Would you please write me a letter of recommendation/reference? You can send it to my mom's house. That way, I won't have any possible clients or employers bother you.
So, if you truly have pulled the plug, please do me this one last thing. I wish you well in your life and all your future endeavors.
Adrien
This is the lame-o response that I got from someone who cried on my shoulder, got lots of bucking up from me and she supported me with laughter and stories, etc.
Hi Adrien,
To be honest, I have been expecting your letter. I just needed a break this spring from things, to get perspective, that's why you haven't heard from me. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve come to realize that we have grown apart and look at life from different angles. So I think it is indeed time to say goodbye. No, you didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t "do" anything. Its just time.
I appreciate everything and would be happy to remain a professional reference for you. You do very good work and I stand behind the recommendation I posted on Linked In.
I wish you the best in everything,
Christina
This is so sad and hurtful. This is someone I really cared about and thought of highly. This is someone I thought I would be friends with for the rest of my lifetime. I don't make friends easily and we had so many things in common that none of this makes sense. I guess I am passe for her. There is the age difference - about 17 years my junior. But, so what?
She remains friends with people who just use her. Old college chums where there are bad habits and patterns. I never did that to her. I guess being used feels normal to her.
I just had to get this off my chest. I don't take these kinds of things very well. I am a very giving, caring person.
You know, sometimes, people just plain out and out SUCK!
If you actually got to the very end of this, thank you so much for reading.
Honestly, I feel like crying.
Now understand that this person, Christina, and I have been through a lot together. I considered her one of my best and dearest friends, as well as a colleague and a little sister of sorts. When she had no place to go on NYE, I would invite her over.
I made her first trip to NYC possible. She was afraid to go there and I was her enabler and tour guide. We stayed for FREE in my brother's city studio apt. That was the third week of Feb... Afterwards, there were a few emails back and forth. Then... I noticed she stopped answering my emails. Silence. Crickets chirping.... I called in April. Veeerryyy uncomfortable convo. I could tell she really didn't want to be on the phone with me.
Fast forward - we always celebrated each other's birthdays!! Dinner, funny cards, etc. For my 50th????? NOTHING. Nada. Zilch. Oh, a happy bday mention on my facebook page that I didn't even see until earlier this week.
I am not stupid. I know when I am being shunned. I wrote her this note, titled can we talk?:
My 50th birthday came and went. No word from you. I haven't seen you or hardly spoken to you in months - since the trip to NY. I asked a while back if I said or did something to offend you and you said no. But it seems that this friendship of nearly 8 years is over on your part. This makes me very sad. I don't just think of you as a friend and a colleague, but as a little sister. So cutting me off without so much as an explanation is very confusing to me. If you wanted to hurt my feelings, congrats - you did a great job.
If you don't wish to be connected or in touch with me anymore, that's ok. That is your perogative. I just would like to understand why. And if that is your decision, I ask one small favor from one professional to another. We worked together all those years and I think it was a good working relationship. Would you please write me a letter of recommendation/reference? You can send it to my mom's house. That way, I won't have any possible clients or employers bother you.
So, if you truly have pulled the plug, please do me this one last thing. I wish you well in your life and all your future endeavors.
Adrien
This is the lame-o response that I got from someone who cried on my shoulder, got lots of bucking up from me and she supported me with laughter and stories, etc.
Hi Adrien,
To be honest, I have been expecting your letter. I just needed a break this spring from things, to get perspective, that's why you haven't heard from me. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve come to realize that we have grown apart and look at life from different angles. So I think it is indeed time to say goodbye. No, you didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t "do" anything. Its just time.
I appreciate everything and would be happy to remain a professional reference for you. You do very good work and I stand behind the recommendation I posted on Linked In.
I wish you the best in everything,
Christina
This is so sad and hurtful. This is someone I really cared about and thought of highly. This is someone I thought I would be friends with for the rest of my lifetime. I don't make friends easily and we had so many things in common that none of this makes sense. I guess I am passe for her. There is the age difference - about 17 years my junior. But, so what?
She remains friends with people who just use her. Old college chums where there are bad habits and patterns. I never did that to her. I guess being used feels normal to her.
I just had to get this off my chest. I don't take these kinds of things very well. I am a very giving, caring person.
You know, sometimes, people just plain out and out SUCK!
If you actually got to the very end of this, thank you so much for reading.
Honestly, I feel like crying.