Advice about adopting a cat or cats?

mina

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Hey everyone,

I'm 22 and will be starting an 8-year graduate school program in a few weeks. I have loved and been around cats all my life, and I am thrilled that I will finally be living in a spacious place that allows cats (in college I lived in the dorms, followed by an apartment complex that would evict you if they caught you with pets in your place
). There's an animal shelter in the city I'll be moving to, and I hope to adopt a cat, or maybe two, in the next few months. I have been looking at the shelter's adoptable pet webpages for months and months, and all the cats look sooo cute and so deserving of a loving home that it makes me sad that I can't all of them home with me!

I guess what I'm looking for is a young cat (less than a year old) who has a gentle and loving disposition. I have a big soft spot for orange tabby boys, since our family cat Calypso (who will be staying with my parents when I move - I'll miss him terribly!) is a 4-year old orange boy who's the sweetest cat I've ever known (we got him from a shelter when he was 7 months old - he picked us! Calypso was in a cage by himself, and he reached through the cage and gently touched my dad's hand with his paw
....he's a very gentle and loving cat all-around.)

But I have some concerns. I will be away from home (on the college campus) probably 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. I want a cat who is still young enough to bond with me easily and whose behavior patterns and personality are not yet firmly established (based on experience I've had with cats that were adopted at 2-3 years old), but as cute and utterly adorable as kittens are, I don't have hours and hours every day to spend litter-box training and loving on a new kitten. I want to make sure my cat gets enough love and attention, so that the cat will grow up to be friendly and affectionate, rather than aloof and wanting to be left alone all the time (though I know cat personalities can only be molded to a certain extent). Is there a particular age of cat I should look for? I was thinking 4 months-9 months - the "young adult" stage where they're loving but not super-needy (and hopefully litter-box trained!) - what do you all think?

I am also toying with the idea of adopting two siblings, so they're less lonely during the times that I'm gone (like I said before, this program lasts 8 years, and after that, I'll be working in positions that require fairly long hours). The shelter that I plan on adopting from seems to have constant influxes of litters of multiple siblings....Has anywhere here adopted siblings together? Is there a better combo to get - two brothers? Two sisters? A brother and sister? Or two unrelated cats, maybe grouped in the same cage or room at the shelter, about the same age, adopted at the same time? Still, I don't want to bite off more than I can chew - i.e. two dominant cats who constantly fight, or a cat who doesn't get along with other cats...has anyone here had sibling cats who don't get along?

BTW, my home will be spacious - carpeted stairs, lots of windows overlooking trees (our family cat loves to birdwatch and sunbathe - I'm hoping my cat will too), and a small den with a skylight window that I will be converting into the cat room. I plan on staying there for the duration of grad school, so hopefully it should be a comfortable, stable home for a kitty.

If anyone has any advice to offer, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for reading =D.
 

carolina

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Since you are not going to be home a lot, I would not get a kitten...
As far as getting attached... My Lucky girl came home when she was 8 months old, Bugsy when he was almost 2, and my foster girl, Hope, they tyhink she is anywhere in between 2 and 4. All of them bonded with me equally, taking approximately the same amount of time... They did bond in different ways, but not because of their age; but because of their personality.
IMO, personalities are formed very very early, so I don't think that age would matter as much as their background. With that stated...... I would definitely recommend 2 cats, instead of one... You can take a look at petfinder.com under the zip code you are moving to, and see if they have litter mates available...
I would strongly recommend older kitties, a young adult, around 2 years old... They still have lots of energy, but are somewhat independent, which you want it do to your schedule...
In any case, good luck on your new place, your course, and your new kitties!!!
 

white cat lover

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From the standpoint of one who helps people chose the right shelter kitty - my advice is go for slightly older kitties. You have no idea how many people like you have adopted 2 kitties who are under 2 years of age - and returned them a few months later because they are miserable.


I do strongly suggest you consider a pair of adults - what difference does 2 - 4 years make? We often have pairs we would love to place together. And just because they are 4 years old instead of just under 1 year old doesn't mean they won't play or cuddle - it just means they'll fit into your lifestyle better (demand less attention, less one-on-one play time, etc).

I've also fostered a pair of brothers from 6 weeks to 1.5 years. They were absolutely positive destructive beyond belief. I am gone a lot. I have other cats. I have dogs. They were living in over 1500 sq ft, with cat trees, interactive toys, & 3 other cats. We played with a wand toy 2x a day for 15 mins (morning & night). Those were the worst foster's I've ever survived through & I'm not real inclined to do it again.
 
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mina

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Thanks for the advice, carolinalima and white cat lover. The kitties in both of your avatars and signatures are beautiful!

I'm a bit wary of getting older cats at a shelter (more than a year or two old) because I'd have no idea what kind of home, if any, they were raised in. Two other cats in my life were siblings (a boy and a girl) that my uncle, who lived in our basement at the time, adopted from a woman who was moving and couldn't take her cats. The cats were two or three years old at the time; their old owner worked all the time and didn't have money for catfood, so the cats licked moisture off the walls and ate the leftovers of the woman's frozen entrees. Needless to say, when my uncle got them, the transition was neither easy nor short. These kitties had a really hard time trusting people; they spent weeks in hiding, and when they came out, they tore up and peed on furniture. They were very slow to warm up to my uncle, my mom, and I; they would bite and scratch, and they never (and to this day they won't) let anyone hold them. Eventually they came around; the boy is a one-person cat and favors my uncle; the girl is sweet but temperamental (but now, at the age of 15 or so, she's mellowed out considerably. I flew in to visit my uncle last week, and she was a total lovebug, sitting next to me and purring constantly
).

Another of my concerns with getting an older cat now is that seven or eight years down the line, I will have a very busy schedule completing my 3rd and 4th year clinical rotations in med school. I want to adopt a kitty or kitties for life, and I want to be able to provide for its or their needs at all stages of life. A 4-year-old or 6-year-old cat is probably not going to have a lot of health needs, but when cats get into their tweens and teens, they inevitably begin their decline (My uncle's two cats are somewhere in their final stages now. It broke my heart to say goodbye to them when I came back because I don't know if they'll be around the next time I visit
). Who knows, 8 years down the road I might have a boyfriend/husband or close friends I can rely on for help/emotional support, but at this point it's so far off that I can't know what my situation will be.

I do want a cat that's young enough to teach new habits to, and still young enough to be playful and active. Our family cat Lipso is 4 now, and he might chase after a catnip mouse or play with his string toy a few times a month if he's in a crazy mood, but mostly he's laidback, and sits around and works on perfecting his "I want a treat" meowing technique and pitiful look. When we got him at 7 months, and for about a year afterward, he was very playful (and yet litterbox-trained from the day we brought him home, very well-behaved, gentle, and non-destructive toward our furniture!) and chased his toys morning and night, and it was really fun to bond with him in that stage. Also we were able to 'train' Lipso a little starting when he was young - he squirmed in my arms when I tried to hold him when we first got him, but after a while he let me hold him for a little while, and now he lets all of us walk around holding him for longer periods of time. I know not all cats like being held and cuddled, and some will never tolerate it, but it'd be nice to get a cat young enough so that they might become more comfortable with it if they don't enjoy it at first.

If anyone else has any advice, I'd love to hear it =D. If I end up getting two kitties (probably littermates), do their sexes matter much? (The cats will already come neutered or spayed from the shelter.)
 

princess79

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I myself grew up with cats in my home and my mom was always a firm believer of adopting and especially older cats. People always adopt kittens therefore the older cats get left behind. Older cats are great because they don't need training, they don't destroy anything, often they are fixed(less the cost for you) and they are generally easier to take care of.
If you are going to be away from home for 10hr/day I would highly recommend 2 cats that are 2yrs or older. I hear your issues on older cats but my suggestion to you would be spending some time with the cat you like, learn about it's traits and ask lots of questions to the staff. They will be honest, they want you to adopt a cat that will meet your needs not one you'll bring back. I think getting kittens would be an issue as they require alot of time and attention. Getting 2 cats is perfect though as they'll keep eachother company while they await your return.
 

jack31

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I think that many of us have the understanding that cats go to the shelter solely based on bad behavior when in todays society that truly isn't the case. I think you will find that many of the older cats in the shelters today are there because their owners are losing their jobs and simply cannot provide for their cats. Not because of behavior issues etc. My recommendation is to go to a shelter and see what cats you connect with--and go with an open mind on age, simply choose on purrsonality. All of my cats chose me in one way or another. I think that everyone here has a different experience with what sex gets along better etc. I have two males and two females, although one female is outdoors only. On any given day the way they get along changes. I think it all depends on personality, I have a dominate male and a submissive male, and a dominate female inside.

Leslie
 

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Hi Mina. Welcome to TCS!
What field are you going into that requires 8 years of graduate work?

I agree with what others have said about getting two cats, possibly older cats. I would suggest getting both cats at the same time. They don't have to be littermates. In fact, sometimes there is a lot of competition between littermates. It sounds like you'll have plenty of room, just make sure you provide vertical space for them as well. That can be a cat tree, tall bookcases, shelves attached to the wall, etc.

A lot of kitties are dumped, but there are also many who are surrendered by their owners for various reasons. The shelter staff will be able to tell you the histories of the cats if they are known. They will also be able to tell you something about their personalities and which cats get along well together.

Many shelters will have a separate room where you can interact with the cats and see if any of them are lap kitties. Allow yourself plenty of time so you can meet several kitties.

As far as getting a kitty who likes to be held, my experience is that that has very little to do with training and more to do with the individual cat. Two of mine are sisters whom I got at 7-1/2 weeks and 3 months. They're now 2+ years old. They both like to be carried around like babies. However, as soon as I sit down, Shareena is off like a shot while Miss Patchwillow will stay on my lap or dig in behind me on the couch.

My other two are sisters, now 11 months old, whom I have had since the day they were born. Iris is a total lap kitty and loves for me to walk around the house with her draped across my shoulder. Cali will let me pick her up for all of 5 seconds, then starts squirming to get down. She prefers to simply walk across me on her way from point A to point B.
 

StefanZ

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I agree with the others.
Mina, I understand you do have an ideal picture for yourself. It is of course your right to pursuit it and be happy with your own picture. After all, so did I and my wife too...

But you asked for advice, and you did get advices...


2, preferably grown ups, may be even a little older. 2 friends or at least, friendly to other cats, so you are fairly sure they will get pals.
If you take them from shelter, you can probably agree to have them for a try out period...
Most of these try out cats dont need to go back. But it gives a feeling and a measure of safety to the new owner - and in fact - to the cats. And this is worth much!


Good luck!
 

goldenkitty45

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Because you will be gone for long hours, I agree with the others in not adopting a young kitten (even 2 of them). Older kittens (9 months or over) will adjust much better as an only cat if you cannot adopt two of them.

But the ideal would be to adopt 2 companion cats that have lived together. Many times shelters have "pairs" of cats they try to rehome together. But these cats are usually several years older.

I'm sure you can find the right ones if you look long enough. BTW Red Tabby boys are one of my favs too
 

booktigger

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I agree with Jack about just giong along and seeing what they have, you might end up coming out with something completely different to what you thought you would - I have fostered 80 cats and age has no impact on how playful they will be, or how much they will adjust (my youngest is 11-12yo and is as playful as an 11-12mo, and loves to be held like a baby, sits like a meercat to be picked up - he was picked up off the streets) - some of my oldest foster cats have been the ones to settle in quicker - the eldest I have taken in is 17yo, both adjusted very quickly, and one had a very bad home life, one had spent months in a shelter.
 

lmunsie

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Hi Mina and welcome!

I am just going to give you my experience. I adopted me cats, like you, once I graduated undergrad and have started a PhD program. I went the older cat route and a bonded pair for all the reasons you stated. I am away 10+ hours a day sometimes 7 days a week, and sometimes I have to go away for weekends on conferences etc.

Having older cats was perfect for that, as they never destroyed a single thing, and I never had to worry about them (I do have someone check in on them daily when I'm away) also having a bonded pair means they never get lonely.

As for bonding, I have NEVER had cats bond with me like these two, they were 7 when I got them, I am entering my third year of graduate school so they are 9 now with no sign of health problems (although I had emergency's with both at one point, nothing to do with age..... just bad luck) to which point, you may be concerned about health issues with 'older cats' but anything can happen to any cat of any age and you have to be prepared to deal with this. Kittens and young cats can get into a lot of trouble which could mean health issues (eating something they couldn't, getting loose etc.) a lot less to worry about as a graduate student with older cats. That said, saving a cat, is saving a cat. They are GREAT companions for the long road of graduate school.

Best of luck
 

alicatjoy

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Before I begin, I'd just like to welcome you, Mina. This site has been a tremendous bright spot in my life since I joined a couple of months back and I hope your experience here is much the same
.

I was in a similar situation to you 3 years ago. Since then, my life has drastically changed, but I can see where you're coming from because, just a year ago, I was considering the adoption of my first two cats. I'll try to keep this as brief as possible, but I feel like I have a lot to share on this issue. So, please, bear with me.

Three years ago this past spring, I was contemplating taking a very lucrative job as well as planning to return to school to finish my degree with the hope of then moving on to graduate school. I was living in my first home with a roommate and had already brought with me my two dogs and my cockatiel. But, even with a house full of love and companionship, I knew one thing was missing -- a cat! I had grown up with and around kitties and missed them terribly. I knew that I was going to adopt a cat to fill the hole in my home and heart and even knew exactly what I was looking for -- not one, but two kittens! That way I'd be able to bond with them and train them from the beginning. It would be perfect! But, from my past experience with cats, I knew that taking on two kittens would be a tremendous undertaking and I also knew that I needed to do some serious introspection and research before adopting my perfect kittens. And, really, I thank God every day since because I may have made a huge mistake had I gone with what I wanted versus what I, deep down, knew was right.

And, so I made a decision. I decided that in order to figure out not only what I wanted, but what was right for my living and work situation, I needed to consider going to local animal shelter and doing some investigative work. I did and instead of making a rash decision, I opted to foster a pair of 4 month old female kittens named Amelia and Ellie. They were what I felt were perfect -- a product of an unwanted litter, healthy, happy, and full of love to give with a side of rambunctious behavior! I took the pair on purely as fosters, but it was always understood, by me, that if all signs pointed to go, I would be adopting them and making them a part of my family. But, it's a good thing I acted as I did because having two, young kittens in the house was definitely not what I expected it to be. First off, I was working 8-10 hours a day with a minimum hour commute each way. And even though my roommate was home for the majority of the day, the kittens needed more time and patience than we had to offer. They were often destructive despite daily play time and chose to bond to one another and not to either myself or my roommate -- despite our constant work with them. To top it off, Amelia became ill at 6 months old with diabetes and needed insulin shots 2 times daily along with a special diet. This diagnosis came after a harrowing ordeal which found her hospitalized at the emergency vet clinic for over a week after nearly losing her life. Following everything that happened with Amelia as well as the continued behavioral issues, it became apparent that my perfect kittens were not the perfect cats for me. And since, by that time, they were ready for adoption, it wasn't long before I worked with the shelter to find them a loving, forever home.

So, being me, I thought, well, if Amelia and Ellie weren't right for me, then two other foster kittens would be. Off to the shelter I ran and came home with two new kittens -- two males named Max and Seymour. This time, I knew it would be different. And, in some ways it was. I was much more closely bonded with this pair and they were less destructive than my previous fosters, but, still they weren't the right kittens for me. No matter how hard I tried, they were lonely and discontent. They had a terrible time acclimating to my schedule and grew distant and depressed. They needed more than I was able to give them and when Max got injured and broke his leg after taking a leap and subsequent fall while I wasn't home, I made the tough decision to let the shelter know that they should be put up for adoption. Since they were successful fosters and were adopted within days to a lovely family, I was able to speak to the shelter manager and discuss all of my options. While my experiences fostering were largely positive, I knew that I wasn't able to go through the heartbreak of watching kittens be adopted again and it was then that I decided to forego another foster situation and instead adopt an adult cat.

Enter Henry (a.k.a. Hank). I adopted Hank when he was 11 years old. He was one of the "unadoptables" at the shelter. His age and the fact that he was rather ordinary looking (as if
!) made him a cat no one wanted. But, in Hank, I saw something special. And I immediately knew that I had made the right option, the perfect option, for both Henry and myself. Of all the cats I've had in my life up to that point, Hank bonded to me both quicker and closer than any other. He was my heart cat
. He acclimated well to my schedule, to his new home, and to everything that life with me had to offer. And, just as the kittens before him, he was the product of an owner who could no longer care for him, healthy, happy, and full of love to give with a side of rambunctious behavior! He had no behavioral issues aside from being shy in the beginning and was as full of life and vigor as he would have been if he was just a tyke. I was blessed to have Henry in my life for 3+ years and he was an amazing cat. He had no health issues and died in his sleep. A subsequent necropsy showed that he did not die of a pre-existing condition and that it was likely sudden heart failure. I was thankful for the time I had with Hank and I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything in this world.

This year, after having time to come to terms with the loss of my beloved Hank, I returned to the shelter and adopted a year old cat named Cassidy. I then returned and adopted Delaney who was just under a year and brought her home. And, finally, I adopted Emory, who is nearly 2, just this month. I went to the shelter, each time, with little to no expectation of what I was looking for in my next kitty. And, each time, I walked out of the shelter with the perfect addition to my family. I've come a long way from the person who had expectations and beliefs about what my perfect cat would be. I'm a lot happier now and with the changes that have taken place in my life over the last couple of years, I had the time, financial means, and emotional maturity to take in younger cats -- and multiple ones at that.

While I won't look down on you whatever you decide, I would strongly suggest that you rethink what perfection in a cat or cats means to you. Also, if you're so set on getting a kitten or pair of kittens, I'd suggest fostering first. Young cats can have difficulties with bonding, can have behavioral options, and can have health issues and emergencies. So can older cats. Definitely think about the experiences and suggestions offered here -- we're all here because we love felines and care about cats and their owners alike. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I'd ask you to consider some additional research before making a decision that can change your life (and the lives of precious cats and/or kittens) forever. Good luck and, remember, we're all here if you need us.
 

StefanZ

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Originally Posted by Alison Joy

Young cats can have difficulties with bonding...
Right into the middle! We are saying also older cats do bond to their new Ma / Pa.
But it may be the other way around: older cats do bond better then kittens.


The old recommendation of taking kittens, preferably young, for them to bond and get adapted to the owner, is thus more or less a myth, taken from the dogs world. It may be thrue for dogs, but apparently is not especially thrue for cats.


Tx Alison Joy for your lenghy witnessing, and tx for helping me to get into this insight.
 

mrblanche

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When you go to a shelter, ask the workers/volunteers there for advice on the cats there. They often have a lot of experience with them, if it's not a high-kill shelter. As an example, at our shelter we often have kittens and cats for over a month.

If you came into our shelter and talked to me, I would tell you about some of the adult cats that we have that are there because their owners got transferred, or died, or lost their house, or some such thing. We have had, occasionally, two cats come in who were declawed and healthy, never been outside, friendly, etc. That sort of situation would be perfect for you.

In addition, we usually know the character of the animals we have. For example, we had one person who came in wanting to adopt two very active kittens; we had just the pair. But we also have kittens who are calm and cuddly. Often, you can't tell that in a brief visit.
 

lyrajean

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I'm going to repeat what everyone else has said and suggest one or two older cats. you don't realize but even a cat beyond kitten stage 6mos to 2years is quite active and needy of stimulation, and may become frustrated and destructive if left alone for too long.

Before I had Aya, who is 9m/o and very needy of my attention whenever I am home, all my cats were older adoptees from the shelter. We adopted 2 4 year old cats (one at a time) from our local HS. Both cats adapted to our home and bonded with me and my family members with no problems. We had Gracie for 10 years and luckilly she was healthy up until her last 6months of life. Midori is now going on 9 and other than some dental disease is very happy.

But definitely go to the shelter and talk to the volunteers or employees. Tell them your living situation and they may suggest nice animals to you. Good shelters will try to figure out the personality of a surrendered pet and often put up a profile of important personality traits: shyness, good with strangers, playful, talkative, good with other pets, good with kids, etc...
 

carolina

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Another option you have, is to get a couple of older cats from a rescue place... That is how I got my three... They are PERFECT together, and all bonded beautifully with me. I definitely credit this to the knowledge from my rescue lady - she knew exactly how to match my needs and my lifestyle with the right kitty, and matching the kitties with each other, by knowing they personalities really well. There are cases where a cat will stay in a rescue for quite sometime, and the rescuers will know their personalities to a T.
I truly think the best ages for you are between 1 1/2 and 2 yrs old...
 

lostmary

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Wow, you sure are going to be busy. I really don't have much more to add then what has already been posted, but I wanted you to know that whatever you decide, you will be giving a couple of cats/kitten a very good life. I've got dogs, horses, outside cats, (I have NEVER liked cats). I now have 3 indoor cats, all of which were ferals. They are all different. One I found as a 5 mo old kitten in the barn. She is such a lover. the other one (they are both calico), was a rescue from a TNR group. She is about the same age, very laid back, and very scared of people. My newest is a 4 mo old kitten, and she is not friendly and can be very aggressive. They each are so different that each other. Go with what you fall in love with when you see them. I do think that an older kitten or young cat will be the best. My 2 are now almost a year, and I really like their personalities and ability to not be so needy as before.

Mary
 
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mina

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Thank you so much for your replies and advice, princess79, Jack31, Goldycat, StefanZ, GoldenKitty45, booktigger, lmunsie, Alison Joy, mrblanche, Lyrajean, carolinalima, and lostmary!

Per your advice, when I go to the shelter (as early as next week), I'll go with an open mind and spend enough time to see if there is a cat or cats that are right for me. I've been reading up on the shelter's adoption policies and procedures online - one good thing is that they require potential adoptive families to interact in a separate room with the kitty or kitties they're interested in before deciding to go ahead with the adoption process. They also offer a program where if you adopt two adult cats, the adoption fee for the second one is waived (however, they don't define "adult" - 1 year or older? 2 years or older?). So we'll see - I'll keep you all updated!
 

GoldyCat

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Originally Posted by Mina

Thank you so much for your replies and advice, princess79, Jack31, Goldycat, StefanZ, GoldenKitty45, booktigger, lmunsie, Alison Joy, mrblanche, Lyrajean, carolinalima, and lostmary!

Per your advice, when I go to the shelter (as early as next week), I'll go with an open mind and spend enough time to see if there is a cat or cats that are right for me. I've been reading up on the shelter's adoption policies and procedures online - one good thing is that they require potential adoptive families to interact in a separate room with the kitty or kitties they're interested in before deciding to go ahead with the adoption process. They also offer a program where if you adopt two adult cats, the adoption fee for the second one is waived (however, they don't define "adult" - 1 year or older? 2 years or older?). So we'll see - I'll keep you all updated!
Sounds like a good plan!
 

booktigger

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Good luck with your visit and am sure you will find your perfect cats, whatever they end up being.
 
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