Missing my Headbutts of kisses ; (

Hi Im new here and hope to get some answers if u could, as I am very sad to the new behavior I am seeing from my baby 'Toonces" ( and yes he looks just like Toonces the Driving Cat from SNL..lol )

Ok Toonces is or at least was THE MOST AFFECTIONATE LOVING CAT THERE WAS!! I have had my share of many cats thruout the years .. but this boy was special .. he was the kind of cat that would cuddles with me nose to nose lay his head on my pillow at night and headbutt me with nuuuuuuuuumerous kisses .. sometimes to the point when I have to say .. 'ok.. Toonce thats enough'..lol and then kiss his lil head and hope he stops kissing me .. Ooooooonly to then have him proceed to lick and clean my hand , face.. and then I laugh and we go to bed.. as he used to love to sleep with me!!.. But I have noticed that most recently he has stopped doing that .. and is not as affectionate at all.. I hardly hear him purring when I scratch and pet him.. as he used to purr soooooooo loud and often.. now mind u he is a baby only 3 yrs old so he isnt old enough to just stop.. I did read about that .. as that is sad! But something is wrong here.. he has a brother.. (not blood) but he loves very much and used to headbutt him too with kisses and rub up all on him often .. only to see he is not only acting distant to me.. but to his brother as well.

Now the only thing that has changed over the past few months was that my longdistance boyfriend of 4 years has actually moved closer and is now staying over on the weekends.. But let me tell u .. this man is very affectionate to the boys and the boys show affection and luv to him as well.. but it is understood when he is here they both sleep on the bed with us.. just Toonce wont sleep on my pillow alllll the time.. which is ok.. But when said boyfriend is gone for the mon-thurs .. I would think we would go back to the nose to nose thingie and all would be good.. However he hasnt been really wanting to do that with me... and it makes me sad .. very sad cuz I miss his affectionate side alot .. and seems like he is acting out like a teenager would or something.. I dunno!

But he is happy and excited around dinner time .. that is when him and his bro go outside in the backyard and play with the other 2 stray cats that have been their buddies for years (I had them both spayed and their shots)as it is the cutest thing .. Its like .. 'hey ma, I wanna go play with my friends..'' lol so I let them out for a few hours they play.. sometimes I take the laser light out and mess with them...they all have fun.. then they come in..though I have noticed that lately it is harder getting Toonces to come in for the night..so ugggg!! again.. rebelious teenager .. doesnt come when I call him.. and yes he did use to .. he knows some 'fetching' tricks and all too.. my cats I have trained to do things that well I am sure not most cats can do ..and well he isnt really down for those types of things either now , he just looks at me like.. "pfft whatever" and I just dont know why.. Also another thing.. he used to look me in the eyes before he headbutted me with love and kisses and all.. and I mean like 20 a day ~to nothing ..or maybe one or 2 at that.. so I am really confused and would like to know what u think??


oooh and one more thing~ the boyfriend is moving in come September and I really hope things go back to normal.. or else I dread it may get worse.. Is he jealous maybe .. even though we both go out of our way to show him love?? I just dont get it!

Thanks so much
Miss my baby Toonces

Hey baby. I thought I would post my thoughts as well to see what everyone else thinks. My thinking is that Toonce is confused by the constant change of me visiting every weekend. I think he's more sensitive to routine changes than Maurice and he's upset and confused by my constant coming and going and he will settle down after I've moved in.

That said, I'm not really a cat person, although I do love my new adopted boys. I'm not as knowledgable about feline behavior as I am canine behavior, so if anyone can shed some light on this we would both appreciate it.

BK

Well, first, let me welcome you both to TCS Maurice and Toonces sound like 2 very special boys

I really think that BK is on to something, cats are very easily upset by change, some more than others and it appears that Toonces is one of those upset by change. Also, and this just my opinion, but I do think that cats feel a jealousy of sorts, but it is more like territoriality. What I mean is that Toonces is very obviously closely bonded to you, zappme, and he could be feeling a bit put out now that your BF is around more often. I do suggest giving him aa much attention as you possibly can so he knows that he is still important in the grand scheme of thing. I do have the greatest confidence that once your BF moves in and a regular routine is established that Toonces will slowly return to normal

Thank you both!!!.. I certainly hope so.. I am really just thrown off as to the non purring and distant kind of behavior .. when this boy certainly showed it as often as possible before.. And although his behavior has changed his brother Maurice is thankfully acting the same .. a few years older so I know his behavior farely well and yup.. he's ok with it all.. Just hoping lil Toonces gets with the program .. as I forgot to mention.. he did just recently poop in the bedroom.. which he never ever did... so maybe that is it.. as I hadnt had someone live with me or even spend the night in some years .. like 2 so .. Brian.. its all ur fault.!! haahah jk baby.. he loves u lots.. I am sure we can help him get back to him in no time.. heres hoping

oh yeah, the pooping really leads me to believe that Toonces is upset by the changes going on

A change in behavior is often a sign of illness as well, especially if he is not as interested in his brother either. Maybe a check up and blood tests at the vet to rule out any health issue that is not outwardly noticed. Cats do not show pain or illness which is often why a behavior change is the first sign.

Wishing all the best to you both and to both your boys.

Originally Posted by Skimble

A change in behavior is often a sign of illness as well, especially if he is not as interested in his brother either. Maybe a check up and blood tests at the vet to rule out any health issue that is not outwardly noticed. Cats do not show pain or illness which is often why a behavior change is the first sign.

Wishing all the best to you both and to both your boys.

Click to expand...

Actually that was my first thought as well. A change in behaviour can indicate an illness even though the cat is not showing the signs. A thorough check with a vet would be a good idea IMO. Also, you say they are hanging out with some strays in the yard - he could have picked up something from one of the strays. Definitely worth having a vet check IMO.

Welcome to TCS!

Everyone has already said what I would have guessed. A vet visit is a good thing so you can put your mind at ease that it's nothing medical, but it does sound as if there are changes going on he doesn't care for. I would give him extra lovin'

It's great that you are both on here trying to find out what's wrong. Welcome!

I agree, first stop would be the vets to make sure there isn't a physical problem. Change of behavior is usually the first sign that something is wrong (not necessarily serious...don't want to scare you) and especially with him playing with the stray cats outside he may have picked up something.

Another possibility is he's just grown up. Cats stay in their kitten stage until around age 2 or 3. As in playful, full of energy, affectionate, etc. Then some grow out of it. Harley was my little love bug when he was younger. He followed me around better than a dog, always wanting pettings and purring his head off. It was to the point it was annoying. Then around age 3 he preferred to be by himself. We (DH and I) were worried that something was wrong and took him to the vet and he got a clean bill of health. The vet explained that maturity wise, he basically was an adult and didn't need the constant attention he did when he was little. Which makes sense, but it was still depressing. We still get lovings from him but on HIS terms, which in a way makes them even more special. He still demands his 10 minutes of uninterrupted attention from us at bedtime, but when he's had enough he hops off the bed and walks out the door.

I hope you find out what is wrong and again, I'm glad you guys came here for answers! Stick around, you'll enjoy it here!

Thank you everyone for your input. FYI, since I've settled in, Toonce has reverted to his normal, lovable, headbutting self. It seems I was right about the inconsistent routine.

Thanks for the update - and so happy it wasn't anything physical!

this is wonderful to hear! have you posted photos of the cats yet?