Last spring I posted a question, asking if I was being unreasonable about DH's repeated vacation trips to Florida with his Mom and step-Dad. I hate to travel, so have no desire to go and wouldn't go with his folks if you paid me. He and DD have gone with them in 2001, '02, '04, and '06. I flat out told him there wouldn't be anymore trips unless he had the cash to pay for them. DD had a talk with her Dad this spring about vacation; she was going to sign up for a few summer classes at our community college, so there wasn't going to be a trip to Florida this year.
Fast forward to July 5th. DH goes to work and leaves a note for me saying, "I told Mom yes, I'll go." I had no idea what he meant, so when I went to have lunch with him I asked him about it. Apparently, his Mom had been on him for weeks about driving them to Florida again and he'd finally "caved in"
on July 3rd. Then it took him 2 days to tell me about it, and he didn't even tell me to my face! I asked him if he had enough to pay for it; he said yes, and that his folks would take their car, pay for the gas, and for the rooms. I said, "What about R? (DD) She's not out of school yet." He told me she wasn't going, that his Mom was taking her other son instead. I asked if DD knew she wasn't invited? Well, no, he hadn't told her yet.
To say I was livid is putting it mildly. I've told DH for years---I don't care if you go as long as you have the cash; just don't let me be the last to know what's going on. Then, to decide to take this trip without our daughter!? I immediately got hold of her and asked how hard it would be for her to finish her college classes so she could go. To say she was upset is an understatement. She couldn't believe her Dad would plan a trip that didn't include her. I believe she was just as mad as I was. When she got off work that night she actually stopped by her grandmother's house and gave her hell! By the time she got home she was so mad she was literally shaking!
She managed to work things out with her teachers, knuckled down and finished 7 math chapters and took 3 tests in less than 2 weeks. Of all the players in this stupid little drama, DD is the only one that showed any maturity. I was extremely proud of her.
Fast forward again, this time to July 19th. I've packed everything, made sure both DH & DD were set for 2 weeks away from home. His folks pull up outside, DH hugs me then says, "Can I have the credit card just in case?" If looks could kill, he wouldn't be in Florida right now. Did I give it to him? Yes. Am I totally ticked off? You betcha. Then he rushed out the door so quickly he didn't even say goodbye. And as a final insult, he took all the spending money that was supposed to last me for another week!
I always have some extra cash stashed around the house, but geez, he could have told me!
I honestly don't know if I'm more angry or hurt by ths whole mess. One minute I'm crying and the next minute I could just slap DH's face. I mentioned DD was the only one that was showing any maturity. She calls me a couple of time a day to make sure I'm ok; she told me that one day she actually took her Dad's wallet away from him to stop him from blowing any more money than he already had! That's my girl! Plus, today is her 20th birthday and it's another birthday that I've missed.
I really don't know what I expect anyone to tell me. I know DH is being selfish and inconsiderate. I'm so mad at his Mom for putting all this in motion that I can't stand it. I honestly think I just needed to vent to people who aren't involved in the situation. I'm afraid, tho, that I've lost a whole lot of respect for DH at this point. I can't believe he'd think it was ok to go off and leave DD behind. From what DD has said over the past few days, everyone has been sniping at each other, and you know what? I'm glad to hear it.
Fast forward to July 5th. DH goes to work and leaves a note for me saying, "I told Mom yes, I'll go." I had no idea what he meant, so when I went to have lunch with him I asked him about it. Apparently, his Mom had been on him for weeks about driving them to Florida again and he'd finally "caved in"
To say I was livid is putting it mildly. I've told DH for years---I don't care if you go as long as you have the cash; just don't let me be the last to know what's going on. Then, to decide to take this trip without our daughter!? I immediately got hold of her and asked how hard it would be for her to finish her college classes so she could go. To say she was upset is an understatement. She couldn't believe her Dad would plan a trip that didn't include her. I believe she was just as mad as I was. When she got off work that night she actually stopped by her grandmother's house and gave her hell! By the time she got home she was so mad she was literally shaking!
She managed to work things out with her teachers, knuckled down and finished 7 math chapters and took 3 tests in less than 2 weeks. Of all the players in this stupid little drama, DD is the only one that showed any maturity. I was extremely proud of her.
Fast forward again, this time to July 19th. I've packed everything, made sure both DH & DD were set for 2 weeks away from home. His folks pull up outside, DH hugs me then says, "Can I have the credit card just in case?" If looks could kill, he wouldn't be in Florida right now. Did I give it to him? Yes. Am I totally ticked off? You betcha. Then he rushed out the door so quickly he didn't even say goodbye. And as a final insult, he took all the spending money that was supposed to last me for another week!
I always have some extra cash stashed around the house, but geez, he could have told me!
I honestly don't know if I'm more angry or hurt by ths whole mess. One minute I'm crying and the next minute I could just slap DH's face. I mentioned DD was the only one that was showing any maturity. She calls me a couple of time a day to make sure I'm ok; she told me that one day she actually took her Dad's wallet away from him to stop him from blowing any more money than he already had! That's my girl! Plus, today is her 20th birthday and it's another birthday that I've missed.
I really don't know what I expect anyone to tell me. I know DH is being selfish and inconsiderate. I'm so mad at his Mom for putting all this in motion that I can't stand it. I honestly think I just needed to vent to people who aren't involved in the situation. I'm afraid, tho, that I've lost a whole lot of respect for DH at this point. I can't believe he'd think it was ok to go off and leave DD behind. From what DD has said over the past few days, everyone has been sniping at each other, and you know what? I'm glad to hear it.