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Would you accept/sign a write up at work if you didn't think it was fair?

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I work in a daycare center with infants and we have one set of parents (particularly the mom and the dad is just plain whipped and goes along with everything she says) that are simply put a PITA. They complain about everything, nothing we do is ever right, and if we do what they ask they turn around and say they want the opposite. It is all about control for these people. I understand it is their child, and they have the right to be picky, but these parents are absolutely rediculous in their expectations and wants. I won't go into details about everything they expect b/c it would take centuries. Not joking.

Well, today we each (all the girls that work in my room) get pulled into the office for a "talk". They have a 3 page note in tiny print about all the complaints the parents have had recently and what they expect us to do to remedy it. Everything is stuff that has either already been addressed or the parents just don't like the answer. Each complaint was numbered and during the "talk" the directors just quickly went over each one and then said that we needed to sign it and return it. They wouldn't let me get a good look at it while we were talking and wouldn't let me read it in front of them.

I take it back to the classroom and read the first paragraph and it states "This is considered a formal write up for each infant teacher". They never said anything in the "talk" that this was a write up, so I consider this both being blind sided and extremely passive agressive. At that point I didn't any further than that.

We have had nothing but problems from these parents since they started. I just want to know at what point do the directors realize that nothing is going to make these parents happy and that they need to start siding with their staff? Is the income they get from this one family worth losing a bunch of staff?

I don't even technically work in that room anymore, I moved up to the next room and only work in that room in the afternoons when I get back from my break (at 3pm), and about 90% of the stuff covered in the letter doesn't even apply to me or have anything to do with me. Oh, and I also found out through the letter that every time something goes wrong two of the girls I work with blame everything on me and the other girl that I work with in the afternoon. Lovely, huh?

Would you sign and agree to being written up if this were the case? I do have an interview for another position at a different center on Thursday, that I made prior to this "talk". I'm also applying at another center sometime this week. My husband doesn't want me to sign it, but I'm afraid doing so will cost me my job. Granted, I've never interviewed for a daycare position and not gotten the job (I have over 15 years of experience, which is hard to find), but I don't know. I also don't want to get the mark on my job record b/c I've never been written up before. I don't want future employers to call them and find out that I was written up.

I just don't know what to do. What would you do??
post #2 of 16
You don't need to sign the copy you were given as is - You can respond to it, paragraph by paragraph, and request that to be attached to the original document and put on your file. Make sure to not be emotional, and explain each point very rationally.Give both documents back together.
good luck
post #3 of 16
Good advice Carolinalima! I wish I had thought of that a month or so back.

We got a new shift manager, who was new to our company's way of book keeping, and my cash drawer came up short the first night he did the books. Part of the shortage he found immediately, he had mis counted the cash, and the biggest part was found the next shift incorrectly entered on the books, thus doubling the amount it was off. Beyond that, now that they only have a cashier during peak business hours, there were 14 people besides me in that cash drawer over the course of the day!

Like a fool I meekly signed the write up not thinking that I could add context by describing the circumstances.
post #4 of 16
From what I understand, the only thing that a business can disclose is whether or not you worked for them, and confirm the dates, and final pay rate. It is against the law to mention anything about attendance, job performance, education, or any disciplinary action that has been taken against the employee. Any write ups, verbal discipline, or disciplinary time off is between you and that employer.....I believe it is covered under that particular state's information privacy act, but you'd have to make sure there is one for your state. Many companies take part in this practice due to the fact that so many people become litigious at the drop of a hat!
post #5 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by kara_leigh View Post
I work in a daycare center with infants and we have one set of parents (particularly the mom and the dad is just plain whipped and goes along with everything she says) that are simply put a PITA. They complain about everything, nothing we do is ever right, and if we do what they ask they turn around and say they want the opposite. It is all about control for these people. I understand it is their child, and they have the right to be picky, but these parents are absolutely rediculous in their expectations and wants. I won't go into details about everything they expect b/c it would take centuries. Not joking.

Well, today we each (all the girls that work in my room) get pulled into the office for a "talk". They have a 3 page note in tiny print about all the complaints the parents have had recently and what they expect us to do to remedy it. Everything is stuff that has either already been addressed or the parents just don't like the answer. Each complaint was numbered and during the "talk" the directors just quickly went over each one and then said that we needed to sign it and return it. They wouldn't let me get a good look at it while we were talking and wouldn't let me read it in front of them.

I take it back to the classroom and read the first paragraph and it states "This is considered a formal write up for each infant teacher". They never said anything in the "talk" that this was a write up, so I consider this both being blind sided and extremely passive agressive. At that point I didn't any further than that.

We have had nothing but problems from these parents since they started. I just want to know at what point do the directors realize that nothing is going to make these parents happy and that they need to start siding with their staff? Is the income they get from this one family worth losing a bunch of staff?

I don't even technically work in that room anymore, I moved up to the next room and only work in that room in the afternoons when I get back from my break (at 3pm), and about 90% of the stuff covered in the letter doesn't even apply to me or have anything to do with me. Oh, and I also found out through the letter that every time something goes wrong two of the girls I work with blame everything on me and the other girl that I work with in the afternoon. Lovely, huh?

Would you sign and agree to being written up if this were the case? I do have an interview for another position at a different center on Thursday, that I made prior to this "talk". I'm also applying at another center sometime this week. My husband doesn't want me to sign it, but I'm afraid doing so will cost me my job. Granted, I've never interviewed for a daycare position and not gotten the job (I have over 15 years of experience, which is hard to find), but I don't know. I also don't want to get the mark on my job record b/c I've never been written up before. I don't want future employers to call them and find out that I was written up.

I just don't know what to do. What would you do??
Nope, I wouldn't sign it. I also work in a day care center. To my knowledge I have never been written up, at least I have never been told that I had. And also our director tells our parents that she will check with the teachers to see what went on, and goes from there. I know how you feel about the parents though, some parents are just idiots and wanna complain about everything. I know, we have lots of idiots at our center. I wonder sometimes why God gave them children to raise.

I hope you get the postion at the new day care.
post #6 of 16
I didn't agree with a write up I had years ago & for similar reasons as you. What was suggested and I did was write my own letter on why I disagreed and signed my own letter.
post #7 of 16
I like Carolinalima's suggestion. I definitely would not sign something I did not agree with.

I would be inclined to have a coffee get-together with my other co-workers and write up my own letter stating all the unreasonable demands the parents have made that you are all aware of and present that to your boss. Ask her to please ensure a copy gets put in your personnel files.
post #8 of 16
Well I think you should sign it but make sure you write exactly why you don't agree and how it isn't fair, and then sign it. I've worked in this lab where people would get so many write ups since the organization of the whole company was so poor that things got lost all the time and then someone had to be responsible for it. My boss would always tell me to write why I don't agree with the write up because he didn't agree either since it came from above him and he was nice enough to give me advice.
post #9 of 16
Quote:
From what I understand, the only thing that a business can disclose is whether or not you worked for them, and confirm the dates, and final pay rate. It is against the law to mention anything about attendance, job performance, education, or any disciplinary action that has been taken against the employee.
That's how it is here. You can also ask if the employer would hire that person again... but that's it really.

Personally, I wouldn't sign it. The directors obviously don't work with these people on a daily basis and don't understand how irrational they are. Also they didn't make you aware in the meeting that you were all being written up until you read the form on your own. I'd mill it over until you find out if you got the other job :p
post #10 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie-poo View Post
From what I understand, the only thing that a business can disclose is whether or not you worked for them, and confirm the dates, and final pay rate. It is against the law to mention anything about attendance, job performance, education, or any disciplinary action that has been taken against the employee. Any write ups, verbal discipline, or disciplinary time off is between you and that employer.....I believe it is covered under that particular state's information privacy act, but you'd have to make sure there is one for your state. Many companies take part in this practice due to the fact that so many people become litigious at the drop of a hat!
That is also true here, but believe me, a past employer has ways of letting a future employer know they were not happy with the person through very subtle communication.
post #11 of 16
It is your right to not sign anything ever if you aren't comfortable with the document.

You should take the advice and write your own letter in response to this "write up".
post #12 of 16
The rule where I work is "don't sign anything but your pay check".

We are supposed to get a written review yearly. Some of the people that I work for let it slide and don't do it unless you are moving to another department.

This review becomes part of your permanent record. If some where down the road they have a grudge against you they can pull it out and use it against you. If that happens more than likely you will lose because you signed it.

In 30 years I have only signed once. And only because at that time I was young and the boss intimidated me into doing it.

These days my reviews are all good. Still I never sign them but I do keep a copy of the one signed by the boss.

This is because in this state the only thing an employer is obligated to do is say that you did work for them and this is the only thing I have to prove that I am good at my job.
post #13 of 16
Don't sign it. It can cause way more problems. I was told to sign I didn't agree with and did not, as it was not my fault at all. Later I got talked into signing it "just to show I got it". And that is all. I read it over and believed the boss. Later it came back to bite me bad Don't do it.
post #14 of 16
Nope. I would definately not sign it. If you sign it you're stating you accept and agree with everything in it and that you're responsible for it. Carolinalima has a good suggestion - write and sign a response, but definately not the actual complaint document.

If you can cite where your actions were in accordnce with your workplace policy, that could be a good thing, but I'll second the advice to keep it rational and unemotional.

You have the right not to sign anything unless you agree with the terms laid out in it.
post #15 of 16
Hi,

if you definately know you want to find a new job and think you won't have a problem doing so due to your work experience I'd sign it if I were in your position without a comment- and then go and find that new job.

I know it's highly unfair, but that's life. I'd say it's more important to make sure you get a good reference from your current employer so you get that other job.

regards,

Christine
post #16 of 16
I agree with those that have said do not sign it, you are basically accepting every word that is in the letter as true when you sign it. Carolina's suggestion of a rebuttal letter is an excellent one
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