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Life is what happens when you try and make plans

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
So I just found out last week that I have to say goodbye to a close friend. She has been battling cancer for the past year (she lives in the UK and I live in Canada) I've flown out to see her a bunch of times.

She went into remission, and as far as I knew 2 months ago, the last time I spoke to her, she was doing wonderfully. Well the cancer came back aggressively and she has been in and out of hospital for the past 2 months. There is nothing left the doctors can do, so I am flying out next week to see her, they only give her maybe 1 good month out of hospital left.....

I don't know what it's going to be like and I think I'm still numb from the whole thing, she is only 25 and I can't believe this is happening.

Then I went out mountain biking last night to blow off some steam and took a really bad tumble, I thought I was OK so I biked home, but this morning I was in bad shape so I went to the hospital and it turns out I fractured my collar bone and twisted my arm, so I am in a sling for a week or two then I need to go to physio, so it's going to be an uncomfortable plane ride out.

I just can't believe this is all happening, but it feels good to get it out in the open....
post #2 of 20
Losing a friend is hard. The only saving grace I see it that at least you get to say goodbye.

I lost a friend four months ago. She had been sick but her dying was shock.

for you and your friend.
post #3 of 20
I know how you feel - a friend of mine died last Friday. The funeral is tomorrow. She had been battling cancer for some time and the drs had given her 4-12 months. She died 3 weeks later.

My heart goes out to you. Give yourself some rest, you must be hurting in more ways than one.
post #4 of 20
So sorry to hear about your friend & your tumble, but you are a good friend for going out to visit her one last time. Enjoy the moments you have with her as I'm sure she will be soaking in every minute hanging out with you.
post #5 of 20
It always hurts to lose a friend, but it seems so unfair to lose one so young. I'm glad you'll get to say goodbye, sorry you have to go through it.
post #6 of 20
Lise, I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

Did you get a new bike?
post #7 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Lise, I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

Did you get a new bike?
I did, I bought a nice used one. Luckily it didn't get irreparably damaged in the fall. But I can't ride again until my arm and collar bone heal
post #8 of 20
I'm so sorry about your friend. Wish I could offer more comfort but I really don't know what to say other than I hope her doctors are wrong and she gets better anyway!

I'm a mountain biker too and I'm also sorry for your fall. Did you at least get a cool story from the spill? I never do. Seems like I always do something goofy!
post #9 of 20
That is really sad news. Sending lots of vibes that way
I hope you feel better soon.
post #10 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynsey View Post
So sorry to hear about your friend & your tumble, but you are a good friend for going out to visit her one last time. Enjoy the moments you have with her as I'm sure she will be soaking in every minute hanging out with you.
Ditto to that, and I hope you mend quickly and don't have too much pain in the meantime -- you've quite enough emotional pain. (gentle)
post #11 of 20
My heart goes out to you. I lost my Grandma yesterday and a dear friend 2 months ago. for you .
post #12 of 20
That is so sad, and she's so young That is so nice that you are going to see her. Sorry you fell
post #13 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone. I know it's terrible, but it makes me feel better to know other people have gone through similar things, and come out on the other side.


Quote:
Originally Posted by howtoholdacat View Post

I'm a mountain biker too and I'm also sorry for your fall. Did you at least get a cool story from the spill? I never do. Seems like I always do something goofy!
Unfortunatly not a great story. Going down a big hill, too fast on a bike I didn't know that well. I hit a pipe in the trail and wasn't able to recover, I braked and then endo'd a couple times. My speedometer said I was going 37 km/hr at the time (top speed) so I'm lucky it wasn't worse I guess! Thank the lord I just got my helmet refit on the weekend.
post #14 of 20
I'm so sorry

I went through something similar in Fall 2007 - Winter 2008. A friend of mine was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I spent a good portion of those few months flying to go see her (we lived in the same town but she left for a more equipped research hospital 5 hours away). It was so stressful, dealing with the grieving process before she even passed away. Knowing that she would pass away very soon but not knowing if it would be that day, that week, that month, or even that year. Toward the end, I did know when the last time I saw her was going to be and it was the most awful thing.

I know that doesn't help you feel any better or help the situation, but I am sending lots of virtual hugs your way.
post #15 of 20
awwww.. I am sorry to hear that.. It must be tough. My heart goes out to you
post #16 of 20
I am so very very sorry you are going through this... I lost my best guy friend to cancer last year... I could not say goodbye to him, as he didn't let anybody into the hospital to see him... He didn't want anybody to see what he looked like that sick... I will never get over that I didn't say goodbye... I will never get over the fact that I didn't hold him tighter, hugged him longer... I wish I could rewind to the last time I saw him... I would just said "I love you" forever and ever...
You are very lucky to get to share some of her time left with her... Say everything you need to say... laugh, cry, and most of all, hug and tell her over and over how much you love her... and when you leave, know that it is not a goodbye - it is see you later.
for you and her...
post #17 of 20
I'm so sorry, that's so sad

We had to say goodbye to our brother last year. We never actually said goodbye if you know what i mean?, but we knew what we were all thinking when we each gave him a hug before we left, and i'm sure he knew and was thinking the same. He was gone 3 days after .

It was awful, and it was very hard keeping the emotions under control, but i hope i never have to say goodbye to anyone like that again
post #18 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by lmunsie View Post
Thanks everyone. I know it's terrible, but it makes me feel better to know other people have gone through similar things, and come out on the other side.




Unfortunatly not a great story. Going down a big hill, too fast on a bike I didn't know that well. I hit a pipe in the trail and wasn't able to recover, I braked and then endo'd a couple times. My speedometer said I was going 37 km/hr at the time (top speed) so I'm lucky it wasn't worse I guess! Thank the lord I just got my helmet refit on the weekend.
Ouch! That is a good thing about the helmet. They make all the difference.
post #19 of 20
I am so sorry on both counts - physical and emotional pain. I don't knwo which is worse, though the physical pain usually heals quicker. Good vibes for your friend, that she enjoys whatever time she has left and htat you are able to have quality time with her.
post #20 of 20
So sorry to hear about your friend and your incident. Many prayers being sent up for the both of you.
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