Fred the spider… we may have to evict him

We have this humongous spider that has taken residence outside our front door. We have two thin but door height windows on each side of our front door and he made his web in one of those windows. Even though I am terrified of spiders I decided this guy could stay since he was there for at least a month before me and my boyfriend had an actual discussion on if we should get rid of him, it was then that we named him Fred.

Fred has grown in the two months he has lived with us, but he is also taking advantage of our niceness. He decided that he is now going to take up almost the whole porch to the point where I am afraid to go out of the front door. Not only that, he has moved in his whole family. I never knew spiders were pack animals. There are about 5 little Fred’s (they look just like him and by little i mean smaller then Fred, they are still big by my standards) that hang out with him on his web.

Even though I am terrified of him (picture every time I leave the house I usually end up screaming and shaking my hair out thinking he fell on me… the neighbors always laugh at me) I don’t want to kill him. My boyfriend refuses to move him in a humane manner and has told me if I want Fred and family gone he is taking the hose to them.

So, I know we have spider folks out there. What would you do? Is there a spider trap? If we hose down half his web and keep his window web is he going to move in more of his family and make more webs? Is there a way we can move them without touching or being close to them? Any advice would be helpful.

And yes, I know I’m a huge weirdo LOL.

I'm sorry, but I can't help but laugh at this. Not at you, but at the situation!

I have no advice for you, but are you sure you have a "Fred" and not a "Freida" or "Fredericka"

LOL no worries, I am laughing at myself for this whole situation. So is everyone else i tell and my nieghbors who are enjoying the morning maddness of me leaving my house lol.

Oh my gosh… you may be right. Fred may be a Frieda! That would explain the little Fredâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s that have arrived, they might have just grown overnight. There is enough mosquitoes at my house to feed a millions Fredâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s or Friedaâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s LOL. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m guessing there is no way to tell.

I don't know if spiders in your area are much different from where I live, but I'm guessing Fred is probably Fredricka and the smaller spiders are love struck suitors trying to get brave enough to make a few hundred more Freds.

Chances are the reason the web has expanded is to catch more bugs, she'll just rebuild if you tear it down. If you leave a porch light on at night that attracts bugs, turning it off might slow down the construction.

We get some here, the proper name is Agriope but they're known as Rune Writers because the male builds little zig zag webs in the females huge web. I've seen the girls to grow as big as the palm of my hand! Very bright colored, and really hard to convince to move. If it's one of those you're in luck because they don't tend to fall or jump out of the webs for anything, and if they bite they are slow to do so.

My middle daughter is also terrified of spiders, but these are so non aggressive that I've even convinced her to let them live. In fact, we have a system. If a spider invades her house I will go and put it outdoors, if a wasp comes in mine she comes and kills it.

Yeah, as much as I hate spiders too, I try to avoid killing them as well; It's just trying to make a living, too, eh.

However, taking into consideration the complex squatters statutes that govern his taking residence there, I would defintely be in favor of relocating him elsewhere, on the grounds of "OMFG THERE'S A HUGE !@# SPIDER OUTSIDE OUR DOOR!!!111!!"

How to go about this, however, I have no idea. Wouldn't get near it.

I think if it's a variety of spider that doesn't tend to jump the easiest way to move her would be with a broom. Just gently scoop her off her web, and set the broom down as far from the porch as you can get before hysteria takes over. Then set about sweeping away all the web on your porch before she comes back to it. If she's a jumper, sorry I don't know how to relocate them, they scare me too!

LOL thanks for all of the advice guys. It looks like we have the “Paris Hilton†of spiders then. My boyfriend just called me and told me we have 3 more spiders. So youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re telling me they all want to mate with her? Sheesh, I hope sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s not easy or we are going to have 50 billion spiders running around.

Ill take a picture of her later on and post it if I can, maybe someone can recognize her breed and I can do some more research. Thanks for all of the advice. I would love to keep her but I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have her taking over the whole front porch. She has until I get back from my work trip on Thursday, if she has more boyfriends or has taken up more of the front porch ill have to move her. Thanks for the broom idea, I wonâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t be doing it though, ill recruit my boyfriend for eviction duty LOL.

You've already gotten some great responses

I would love to see a pic if you can get one.

I do not know how your porch is, but on mine I've had to relocate spiders before.... I have a garden right in front of the porch so all I did was take a broom and using the handle, I got the web and spider hooked on..... I put em both in the garden....

They will make a new web, probally within hours (talented lil boogers) because of their current one being touched.

Another thought, since you are going on a work trip for a few days, without touching the spider itself, use a broom handle to detach the web from most of the surfaces, and see if she will relocate herself because her web is wrecked OR see if she just builds a new one, in which case, you'll have to relocate her.

Good luck

Originally Posted by BaloneysMom

LOL thanks for all of the advice guys. It looks like we have the “Paris Hilton†of spiders then. My boyfriend just called me and told me we have 3 more spiders. So youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re telling me they all want to mate with her? Sheesh, I hope sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s not easy or we are going to have 50 billion spiders running around.

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I'm getting evil looks from all the cats whos naptime was disturbed by my outburst of laughter. Tell her to just say no and keep all eight legs crossed!

Originally Posted by bookworm

I'm getting evil looks from all the cats whos naptime was disturbed by my outburst of laughter. Tell her to just say no and keep all eight legs crossed!

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HAHAH too funny!! Maybe closer to the truth then i would like though! At lunch i headed home and went to look for her to take her pic. She was all the way up in the corner, her legs were scrunch in close to her body and there was something else there, i think another spider... im not sure though. Either she was mating, or eating, or doing some spider thing i have never heard of ( i know nothing of spiders so that could be a lot lol). I couldnt see clearly due to the glare and some puffy stuff in the web.

I thought of this post when i saw that and started laughing. Keep all eight legs crossed!! Lol.

Actually, for all I know they cross their legs while mating! She may have been both eating and mating. I've read that while it's only the Black Widow who gets the bad press for it many female spiders eat their mates, and then wrap their own body in the egg sack to provide food for the young when they hatch. Pretty gross, but no one can accuse them of being unconcerned parents!

Well we have changed her name from Frieda to Frederica (I have a family member named Frieda, not too close to her lol).

My boyfriend keeps threatening to take the bleach to her when i am gone!! I know he wonâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t though. I took some photos of her below. If you can see the mass in the upper hand corner of the pic, thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s what we think is the eggs... if thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the case, we will have to get rid of that. What do you all think? Also, anyone know about the stance she is doing? It looks weird, she still has her legs up.

I am sitting here twitching, ever since i looked at the photo i keep freaking out that there are spiders all over me! LOL im such a weirdo.

Do you think the stance is her mate in her belly? Pretty weird lol.

Ugh she's a scary looking chick! Definately not one of our pretty rune writers, if it were my porch I think she'd have to move on. I don't know why she seems to be holding her belly. Wonder if something that stings got caught in her web? Maybe it's some mating ritual or part of the web spinning chores?

EWWWWWWWWWWWW! Fredericka would definitely have to go if she was on my porch! I did some searching to try and identify her. To me, she looks like a black widow, only brown. Creeps me out. I have had to move a good number of widows from my old home, I don't like to kill things either. For some reason though Fredericka looks even yuckier than a widow.

This is what I think she is:
http://pestcontrolcanada.com/Questio...tification.htm

Go down to the second picture of the cobweb spiders. Looks pretty much like Frederica. Bleck.


Gives me the heebie jeebies and I am thousands of miles away from you. I hope your SO sweeps her and her buddies right out the door and down the yard a ways.


BTW Keycube and Bookworm, you both had me ROFLMAO, until I saw that creepy picture!

Originally Posted by kittymonsters

BTW Keycube and Bookworm, you both had me ROFLMAO, until I saw that creepy picture!

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I know, it isn't so funny anymore once you get a look at her. You know there is a brown widow too, they just aren't venemous. There is a spider here in Georgia that I can't find on any website that is pretty but downright scary, and will literaly rear up on it's hind legs and wave it's front ones at you! (Which is how I've come to learn a bit about spiders, trying to identify it.)

Ok, I live in the woods, so we have tons of spiders.

Your spider is just a common garden spider and her buddies are her offspring.

We get her kind here all the time and, yes they are annoying. But they are beneficial in getting rid of pest insects.

Yes, she's kinda ugly and will give spider-haters the heebie-jeebies, but she won't do you any harm.

Get the broom as many have suggested and dismantle her web, making sure you snare her and as many of her babies as you can and relocate her and them as far away as possible. She will set up a new shop close to where you relocate her.

Oh and just be aware, she will attempt to run to her hiding spot when you try to snare her with the broom, so be quick.

Hahaha I had to laugh at your posts. I do have a tendency to try and save the ugliest, weirdest things on the planet and I usually get the same reaction. You guys expected a beautiful colorful spider and she turned out to be pretty nasty looking.

Now I have the heebie jeebies with the spider pic your posted LOL I am going to be shaking my hair out all night! Blah, I hate spiders! For some reason though I just donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have the heart to have the boyfriend kill her.

Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s going to take a lot of convincing, and maybe a special dinner to get my boyfriend to safely remove her, but I am going to try, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve grown fond of the ugly girl even though I am terrified of her LOL.

I really dislike my neighborâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s kids, they are always bothering Bruno and throwing balls at our cars, I am trying to bribe him by saying we can leave her on their lawn LOL.

Thanks for all the help guys, I told you at the beginning! Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m a weird chick! LOL.

Originally Posted by BabyWukong

Oooo leaving the spider and her group of suitors on the kids' lawns sounds like a wonderful idea! Serves them right for being so nasty.

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The little boogers would just kill her

This thread has renewed my curiosity as to what type two spiders I have encountered over the years are, and I spent over two hours (on a slow computer) searching for pictures of them last night. I totaly creeped myself out, and apparantly picked up some adware on one or the other site because the computer finaly froze up and is slower than ever this morning. Or is the machine afraid of spiders? The two spiders remain unidentified, but I had some really unpleasant dreams, lol.