My daughter has a pool friend

The only time this boy comes over to play is when she is in the pool. 5 minutes after she is in there he shows up towel in hand. He is only 6 but I find it annoying. I talked to his mother, because a week ago at the park , He told Raina he could play with her, because she is a girl. His mother told me, she thinks the best thing is for him to spend more time with Raina. I am not stupid he just wants to play in the pool, and his Mother is just giving in to him.

I'm sorry to laugh... but I saw the title and for a second I wondered if one of your cats went swimming with her!

Yeah, that's annoying. I don't get the whole exchange - what - he's not allowed to play with other boys?

Tell his mom you think it's great the kids are interacting, but Raina likes some pool time by herself!

Laurie

It's just rude to let him come over without your permission. That also makes you responsible for him while he's there. I'd be sending him right back home, but I'm mean, so you do what you think best.

Awwwww i'm feeling sorry for him

Does he have any other friends at all?

I wouldn't let him in the pool just because I wouldn't want to be responsible if anything horrible were to happen. Plus it's just plain rude for him and his mom to think it's ok to just pop over for a swim! What the he** happened to manners?

Originally Posted by clixpix

It's just rude to let him come over without your permission. That also makes you responsible for him while he's there. I'd be sending him right back home, but I'm mean, so you do what you think best.

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I would do exactly the same thing. Thats really brazen of his Mom.

Don't let him impose. It's YOUR house. Set boundaries such as he must call and see if it's okay to come over and if he just shows up, firmly but politely tell him that it's not a good time, then shut the door and send him on his way. If his mom won't set the rules for him, you have every right to set the rules for your home. I'm sure it's okay once in a while for him to come swim, but not just on a drop in basis.

He has lots of friends. The neighbourhood is full of boys. The boys always exclude Raina. I would mind if he was her friend. I just don't like that he uses her, and his Mother thinks it's okay. His older brother always comes over when we set up the blow-up water slide. I always supervise the kids in the pool. Dh says tell her to come supervise. The problem is her 5 boys are never supervised. They go where they please including the 2 year old. I don't trust her to supervise my child.

Originally Posted by mbjerkness

The neighbourhood is full of boys. The boys always exclude Raina. I would mind if he was her friend. I just don't like that he uses her

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Oh well in that case tell him to take his towel and scoot!!.

Originally Posted by mbjerkness

He has lots of friends. The neighbourhood is full of boys. The boys always exclude Raina. I would mind if he was her friend. I just don't like that he uses her, and his Mother thinks it's okay. His older brother always comes over when we set up the blow-up water slide. I always supervise the kids in the pool. Dh says tell her to come supervise. The problem is her 5 boys are never supervised. They go where they please including the 2 year old. I don't trust her to supervise my child.

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Honestly, I would tell her that I'm not prepared to supervise her children because I don't want to be responsible if anything happened to them so I would prefer that they not come over.

That's a tough one!

On one hand you have to supervise your daughter while she's in the pool, so really, what does it matter if there is one more child?

On the other hand she may be just using you as a babysitting service so that she has time to herself, which is not really fair.

Then there is the fact that perhaps the boy is lonely and doesn't have much other interaction with other kids and his Mom probably ignores him when he's at home.

So if it were me I would let the little boy come over, but not over stay his welcome. I would also let them know that you would like them to ask your permission first because it's not always a good time to have drop in guests.

When my daughter was young (under 10) I made the rule that any kid who came to swim in our pool MUST be accompanied by their parent. It's a known fact that NO ONE will watch a child as well as the parent (in almost all cases, that is).

I never had a complaint, and have many fond memories of sipping iced tea with a mom or moms while our kids played happily in the pool.

Cally

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

On one hand you have to supervise your daughter while she's in the pool, so really, what does it matter if there is one more child?

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While it is true that she has to already supervise her own daughter, if the boy was there and anything happened to him, she could be sued by the neighbour. Not only that, how would you feel if a child got hurt or drowned while at your place?

I definitely would set rules and not allow the children to just come over whenever they feel like it and one of the rules would be that the parent comes to supervise the child.

I personally wouldn't allow them to invade my privacy like that and it does sound as though the mom is using you as her own private, free babysitter.

Our neighbour has a pool and has told us we are welcome to come over and even if they aren't home we could use it. We have never done so - we feel it would be an imposition.

At our last home, we did tend the neighbour's pool while they were away for 2 weeks' vacation every year and we did use their pool at those times.

just for the pool!..

..poor boy...

Does your daughter enjoy his visits? I would set ground rules others talked about and if she actually does enjoy playing with him in the pool stick to them. If she doesn't really care for him, or you are in any way concerned, tell him no more.

Originally Posted by CoolCat

just for the pool!..

..poor boy...

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Jim told him yesterday. Girls have really long memories. A few years from now you might want to hang around her, and she gonna say. aren't you the little turd that threw sand in my hair.
I have decided to allow him to come. Raina does enjoy his company. I am hoping that maybe he will start to include her, when he's with his friends.

It makes me mad that this mother isn't teaching her son not to make friends only because they have things that he can benefit from, but for the sake of friendship...He will grow up and still think it's okay. I know many adults who have similar attitudes In fact I wouldn't be surprised if it was the mother who set the example...
I would definitely set boundaries and while still letting him play in the pool not to disappoint your daughter, I wouldn't let him in all the time.

Originally Posted by ut0pia

It makes me mad that this mother isn't teaching her son not to make friends only because they have things that he can benefit from,.

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