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Please help, my kitty is so unhappy :(

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Hi, I really need some helpful guidance because my little kitty cat is so unhappy at the moment. I don't wish to bore you with a huge, detailed account of my past so i'll try and keep this as simple as possible.

My fiance and I rescued two tiny kittens with cat flu last November who have always been quite sickly and weak. They are called Pixie and Mojo. Both pulled through and grew to be happy healthy 6mnth olds.

two weeks ago, my fiance and I broke up. I moved out and got a small flat with a friend and He moved in with a work mate.He took one cat and I took the other as neither of our flatmates would allow both to live with them and my fiance could not bear to part with Mojo who was always 'his cat'.

So far, mojo has been doing great with my ex but it is not the case for Pixie. He is very tense and although he is still affectionate and loves cuddles for reassurance, he meows and howls constantly during the evening and night. I have tried to deal with this by calling him into my bedroom for reassurance and to try and take his mind off things. This didn't work so I tried ignoring him and so far have had no luck.

I understand that he misses his brother and that the situation is pretty miserable for him and for that I feel terribly guilty as I have changed his living arrangement drastically. My flat is rented and some of the neighbours have commented about the noise.

I feel awful for him and really want to help him to adjust and become the happy little cat he was.

Thanks, Jen x
post #2 of 17
Is it possible for your ex to take both kitties for now at least? I think from your post that you are not able to have 2 cats so this might be the better option for now. When you are more settled in a permanent place, perhaps you could try again with Pixel or maybe not split them up and get another kitty. I feel your pain, I don't know what I would do if hubby and I split up and only one of us can take Bijou. We both love him so very much.

In your case, perhaps you can arrange with your ex (if you are on good terms) to take Pixel back to be with Mojo and have visitation.
post #3 of 17
The OP already said neither of the new roommates would allow both cats, so the ex taking Pixel back doesn't sound like an option.

Have you tried Rescue Remedy or Feliway as a calming agent? Could you get an old shirt from your ex BF that he's worn but not washed? Put it in Pixel's bed or somewhere he likes to hide. A blanket or towel with Mojo's scent on it might help, too.

Calming for you and kitty both. If you're tense he's probably picking up on that. Find something to do that relaxes you as well.
post #4 of 17
Would you be able to fit in more time playing with him, especially in the evening, and maybe moving his evening meal later and later, towards bedtime? I'm just wondering if he's worn out with play and has a full tummy, he might sleep better at night, and the increase interactive play might help both of you in the bonding process. I agree that maybe a tee-shirt with familiar scents may help, and I've had good luck with the Feliway diffuser - although that doesn't work instantly, darn it.

Best wishes to you, your ex, and both kitties as you all try to work out new lives....
post #5 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldyCat View Post
The OP already said neither of the new roommates would allow both cats, so the ex taking Pixel back doesn't sound like an option.
You're right! I missed that on my read through. Too darn many threads to read!
post #6 of 17
Thread Starter 
thank you for your suggestions. I think if i could get something that Pixie and Mojo shared for him to sleep with/ play with that could help as it it obvious to me that he is meowing trying to find his brother. It truly is heartbreaking and because I am also upset, I'm sure it rubs off on him too.

I have also upped our play time and started feeding him later as he seems to want to sleep as soon as he has been fed.

Thanks again, as a first time cat owner, it really has been an eye opener! So fortunate to have a forum fot discussion such as this xx
post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 
also, funnily enough, Pixie looks just like Miss Patchwillow
post #8 of 17
He is also probably missing the familiar smells and sounds of his old home, so that adds to his anxiety. I think that if you can get an old shirt from your ex and/or something that the other cat has slept on, that will help. I'd also suggest a small stuffed toy for him to have as a "companion" as well as Feliway.
post #9 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by PixieJen View Post
also, funnily enough, Pixie looks just like Miss Patchwillow
Miss Patchwillow is very happy to know she has a twin. We need
post #10 of 17
I'm so sorry that you and Pixie are going through this. From what I understand pets grieve similar to us humans. It is a process that you go through when you loose someone.

You are doing good things by spending extra time with him and feeding him something late in the day.

The more you can make a new routine, I believe will make it better. Do everything at the same time, in the same order every day. It will make him feel safe.

Time will heal this along with your love and patience.
post #11 of 17
Awwww...I know it is heartbreaking for you to see your kitty so sad . I agree with skimble...the only thing that will fix this is a lot of love and patience. Your cat has no way of understanding what is going on. Your cat has lost his home and part of his family. It sounds as though you are giving your kitty lots of love and attention though and he will be ok. Change is difficult for everyone.
post #12 of 17
I would encourage you to take your kitty to the vet as soon as possible and have a full work-up done (including a blood panel) Many times when animals are separated they become stressed and stress is the number one cause for illness for cats.

You have put him in a strange place with smells he can't identify, as well as his friend being gone. I would suggest and I know it sounds strange, but ask your ex if you have the other cat's litter pan and you will buy him a new one. The smell in the pan that has soaked into the plastic will help comfort him. I would also suggest you invest in a snugglekittie as a friend and comfort for your kitten.

Ideally for the cats is to stay together, but you might be surprised if you took him for a playdate, he won't remember his friend (depending on how old these kittens are) and there may even be some tense moments.

Feliway Comfort Zone room diffusers will help, so will any CD with harp music. But first and foremost- take him to the vet.
post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone for your help. Pixie and I are enjoying more cuddles and play time before bed and it seems to be helping a little. I am picking up a cushion at the weekend which he and his brother slept on but Mojo had not gotten bored of (typical cat ha!) so Im hoping that this will help even more


I only have pics of him on facebook but ill try and put some up x
post #14 of 17
Thread Starter 


I didn't mean for it to be so big sorry! Have no idea how to make it smaller!! This is Pixie at 12weeks
post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by PixieJen View Post


I didn't mean for it to be so big sorry! Have no idea how to make it smaller!! This is Pixie at 12weeks
Oh my goodness! Pixie and Miss Patchwillow really do look like twins! They even have their heads tilted the same way.
post #16 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by PixieJen View Post

I didn't mean for it to be so big sorry! Have no idea how to make it smaller!! This is Pixie at 12weeks
Before you upload your images to photobucket, look at the bottom of the box where it says "choose files". There's a line that says "reduce to" and a drop-down menu. If you make it 640 x 480 or smaller, photobucket will make your images a reasonable size to post on the forum.
post #17 of 17
She is beautiful! Transitions are rough on everyone. You will both be okay in time I am sure. It sounds like you are doing all you can.
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