I've had it (huge vent...depressing..)

Originally Posted by valanhb

Chris, I really feel for you. Any chronic condition makes life just miserable, and to not be able to get the help you deserve from the medical profession makes it 10 times worse. Unfortunately, doctors are being scrutinized by the DEA over what, what doses and how much they prescribe. Makes it that much harder for the people who need it to get it, but I guess they figure that's OK as long as the small percentage of jerks who don't need it have a harder time too.

Bureaucratic logic at its finest. Then pile everything else you've had/got going on on top of your already full plate, and I'm sure it's overwhelming in the best of times, and suffocating in the worst.

The only thing I can tell you is to try to think of the positive things in your life. Even if the only thing you can come up with is that you're still breathing, that's still better than the alternative.

You have a husband who loves you.
You have two beautiful daughters who are growing up and learning to spread their wings (that is what all that 13-year-old attitude is, and why she's so intent with bickering with her sister).
You have shared a wonderful lifetime with Brandy, and have one more week with her to shower her with love.
Kizzy and Kitchi have gotten to be good friends, just what each of them needed. And how can you look at Wide Load and Tiny Butt and not smile?

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Thank you Heidi. You are so right. Gotta love politics eh. It's the same with the welfare system, too many abuse it so those of us who truly need it get treated poorly.

I did print off a pic of wide load and tiny butt Thank you so much for the smile and pointing out how many things I do have to be thankful for

Originally Posted by Crazyforinfo

Wow I am so sorry you are going through all this at once.
BIG HUGS for you Chris.

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Thanks Michele I'm hoping after the weekend, things will start to improve...Yah we'll have grief to deal with, but deep down we all know we're doing the right thing. Now nothing else is wrong with the kitties, and maybe in a couple weeks I can get some me time away. Now to figure out what/where to do/go.

Originally Posted by jennyranson

I feel for you and can understand so much of what you are going through. There are times when you just feel you can't take another thing going wrong, and when all those are major, then we all crack. But it will pass, things will get better, and you will have gained strength from what you are going through now. Is there any way you can change your doctor? it sounds like you don't have much faith in this one, and that is one area of our lives where we need to feel secure as we are so vulnerable.

Many many vibes coming over for you

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Originally Posted by Emy4cats

I would try talking to a different Dr.

I hope things get better soon.

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Originally Posted by Essayons89

I'm sorry your going through a rough spell. that things get better.

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No I don't have any faith in my current doc. We are trying a different method of talking to him at my next appt. in Aug. (documentation and such, because he doesn't listen to me/us) and if that doesn't work we will be exploring alternatives, whether that be a formal complaint or ????

I wish it were as simple as switching doc's to try different ways to manage my pain but that is one of the downfalls of living here.

Thank you both for the well wishes

Originally Posted by nurseangel

I'm so sorry. You were there when I needed you and you are a very giving person. I hope things get better soon.

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thank you

Originally Posted by tierre0

I certainly can understand were you are coming from on the pain issue, chronic pain has a way of over-whelming most other things in your life. Then added to it the other day to day stress and things can get very frustrating, and depressing.
All I can say is I hope things even out for you soon.. Lots of support vibes coming your way.

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me too, me too. I hope today isn't too bad on you (and any others who suffer more when the weather changes)

Originally Posted by GailC

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Have you ever thought about (if one is available) going to a bio feedback clinic for chronic pain??

Having two daughters without another spouse present several days/week must be hard to manage on top of dealing with your pain.

I'm a big fan of Oprah who is a believer in "me" time. I think you are due for some serious "me" time. I think it would help with your stress level.

I have one cat with a long term illness and another with severe dental issues and in the past have had others with health problems. At times its overwhelming to deal with it all.

I think your increased stress at home dealing with all that you have on your plate may be making your pain issues worse.

Is it possible to have a family meeting with your spouse and the girls to let them know you are stretched mighty thin??

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Take care of yourself first!!

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Thanks Gail...I'm definately going to check out a bio feedback clinic. I have never heard of one.... and yes, definately need my me time, which is quite scarce when summer is here. Stress level does indeed make things worse because unfortunately I carry alot of stress in my back, which is one of the injured areas.... Time to make a massage therepy appt. She's pretty good at working out the tense areas as she does deep tissue massage with me....

Originally Posted by LDG

Chronic pain bites the big one, and that is probably the understatement of the year. There has been just too much grief in your life lately. Your DH works a job that's far away, and your girls are old enough to be serious pains in the butt.

You're not just trapped in your house and the insane stress of life of late - you are trapped in a body that is fighting you every step of the way and your doctor sucks.

I think you deserve a big, long vent and a good long cry. I wish I was there to hug you.

Laurie

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Thanks Laurie.... huge and

Originally Posted by Ms. Freya

Sending a big

and plenty of that this will pas and things will calm down for you. You've had a heck of a time lately and I second the suggestion of getting yourself some 'me' time. After bad patches, I think it's necessary just to detox shut down and rest.

Also, it might not hurt to talk to another Dr. even just to get an idea of what else could help you manage the pain.

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Thank you *hugs* (too many smilies in this post) I do see a massage therepist on a semi-regular basis, as well as physio 3x wk for the surgeried hand... Unfortunately physio can't do anything about my back or elbows (I have passive stretches I try for them, plus a TENS unit that I also use). I'm very open to suggestions that don't involve doc's (since I don't have the ability to get another one). I do have a hottub as well, which helps on the days I can actually get into it.

Originally Posted by mews2much

I hope you feel better.

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Thanks Jacky *hugs*

I have no medical advice, but I can empathise with the feeling that life just keeps dumping on more and more smelly stuff until you're buried in it. As my grand kids are the age of your kids I'm going to hazard a guess that I'm a lot older than you. In all those extra years the only bit of applicable wisdom I've picked up is that while life frequently sucks, it still beats the alternative. Hang in there, there's always some little ray of sunshine that sneaks through when it all seems unbearable.

I can only second the vibes and positive advices you received. I know this will pass and you will get through it. I have had some bad times in the past, and in a weird way they helped me be who I am today. Sending you some much needed luv


(And yes....."me" time is a must!!!!)

Originally Posted by cheylink

...She was receiving Valium from 3 different doctors, one time she took an entire bottle of Xanax in a day, always ran out of her meds before renewal date........... At her worst she would pass out mid sentence, Fall asleep eating food and have it all over her, slide down the stairs on her butt because she couldn't keep her balance, became a vicious, nasty, mental and physically abusive person, and more..... this was after she had beaten and diagnosed cancer free......
We no longer have a relationship, she was my mom and only family, gave me a home as a teenager when my father, her brother, abandoned me. I love her so much, but the situation became so volatile that I had to walk away. We haven't spoken in 6 years, she simply didn't want anything but her meds......

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I am so sorry this happened to someone you love. The use of narcotics for the treatment of long term chronic pain is or can be problematic, but speaking from experience (not mine, DH's), the people in pain management would prefer ANYTHING to work to help alleviate the pain. !!!!

For people like Chris and DH, it is a last resort, because non-opiate medications / surgery / physical therapy have not worked to improve the quality of their lives. But as Chris has pointed out, the use of opiates in the treatment of disabling, intractable chronic pain is indicated, despite the risks, if it is the only thing that improves the quality of one's life.

Opiates, like many medications, cause physical dependence. That is not to be confused with addiction.

Yes, there is the danger of addiction with the use of narcotics (as there is with the use of something like nasal spray decongestants), but as Chris pointed out, the long term studies indicate that while 100% of people that use narcotics become physically dependent, only 3.8% of people become addicted - that is to say, exhibit drug-seeking behavior. That is a psychological problem, not a physical problem.

In a pain management Doctor's eyes, it can be difficult to tell the difference between someone who is under-medicated (a problem that can arise with tolerance - something that was working is now not working well enough) and someone who is drug-seeking. There are steps they can take to help them identify the difference, and there are many different meds that can be used to treat pain. A good pain management doctor will expect tolerance to develop, and will not just increase dosages, but will change types of medications to avoid this problem. My DH's pain management doctor makes him take urine tests (to verify that he is taking the meds and not selling them, to verify that he is not taking other meds without his knowledge, and to verify levels of meds in his system), has him fill out pain questionnaires, and very closely tracks his pain vs. his quality of life.

Chris's doctor is not doing these things, and is apparently making a judgment without proper input.

Laurie

I am sorry you are going through this. Just the past three months I have been trying to heal from a pulled muscle in my back. I have had them before but they always healed faster than this one. It isn't much compared to what you are dealing with and it is finally getting better but it has given me a small idea what it is like to deal with pain long term. It makes everything else in life harder to deal with and completely wears you down.

I know you can't switch doctors but then I think you need to push this pain issue further.

My mom has stenosis of the spine [I hope I spelled that right!] She has had two surgeries to remove scar tissue [which keeps coming back] She is on Oxycontin, Oxycodone, Morphine, and Vicodin. All of these she takes throughout the day. They really don't fix the problem, but do help keep her comfortable. She really should find another doctor, our system would rather just throw drugs at people than fix the issue. I think you need to pursue this thing further. Either they give you more pain medication, and a better regimen, or fix the problem.

You might look into potentially alternative means. Talk to your doctor about using devil's claw or yucca in conjunction with your pain medication. Both of those are natural anti-inflammatories. Maybe look into massage or acupuncture?

I really think you should talk to your husband about all of this, maybe he can figure out a way to get you some "you" time. I think you should tell him about your pain and that you don't mean to be distant or grouchy but that things aren't going well for your right now.

I just wanted to give you some vibes I hope things get better! I know about the whole friends who just take and take, my friends are that way and I too am tired of giving. Im starting to believe they arent really my friends if all they do is take. Your daughters should be taking care of you not bickering at each other.....although I have a brother who just picks and picks until you just want to scream. Im not the greatest at giving any advice, but i do want you to know I am here to support you!

Hugs, Chris.

I know something of which you speak. I don't have it nearly so bad, but it is depressing having constant pain, not being able to sleep, having your family be annoyed with you because you never want to "go" anywhere or "do" anything, having a doctor think you are a drug-seeker.

Oh, yes, it's frustrating and depressing.

Don't ever feel bad about venting to us!

If you can get you hands on today's Wall Street Journal (or I can send you the article) there was an article about pain mgmt in light of the potential overuse of acetaminophen.

I just wanted to reiterate how loving and supportive you are! You have always been so helpful, careing and supportive anytime someone needs it! I sincerly hope you find relief soon


I just wanted to share with you my experiance with biofeedback. When I was a teen I was in a biofeedback program to deal with a horrible depression. I found it really wonderful at the time for my depression and still use some of the techniques I learned now.

My program focused on relaxation, I sit in a dark room with a sleep machine (I keep mine set to crickets or tree frogs) tense all the mucles in my body from my toes moving up to your sholders, then slowly release in the same direction, then take deep breaths through my mouth, and out through my nose for the rest of the session/time. I still do this today, usually for 15/20min and it really helps with my fibromyalgia pain.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's a pity doctors and governments are more concerned with a few adcits than many who are suffereing.

Originally Posted by GailC

If you can get you hands on today's Wall Street Journal (or I can send you the article) there was an article about pain mgmt in light of the potential overuse of acetaminophen.

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Thank you for mentioning that... I think I found it, is this the one you mean:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...331942618.html
I've printed it off to take along with other documentations, to my next appt. As the use of tylenol is a huge concern for me. I've not treated my liver nicely, so taking Oxycodone which contains acetaminophen is a huge concern of mine.... I have to watch carefully what else I take (cold meds and the like). Even if my doc switched to Oxycontin, same opiod, no tylenol, and available in different doses, it would be a small step in the right direction. As it stands now, I take at least a minimum of 2000mg ace. a day

Thank you so much for pointing it out.

Originally Posted by sillyitiliangrl

I just wanted to share with you my experiance with biofeedback. When I was a teen I was in a biofeedback program to deal with a horrible depression. I found it really wonderful at the time for my depression and still use some of the techniques I learned now.

My program focused on relaxation, I sit in a dark room with a sleep machine (I keep mine set to crickets or tree frogs) tense all the mucles in my body from my toes moving up to your sholders, then slowly release in the same direction, then take deep breaths through my mouth, and out through my nose for the rest of the session/time. I still do this today, usually for 15/20min and it really helps with my fibromyalgia pain.

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Thank you so much for sharing.... I am definately looking into it, even if it doesn't help with the actual disabilities, it sounds like it would help dramatically for my stress levels, which in turn, would help with the pain issues. Thank you for sharing your experience

Actually it has been reported for years that acetaminophen is bad for your liver. Unfortunately for some of us it is something that can't be avoided.

I take more of it than they are now recommending. This is because the insurance company will no longer pay for the drug that I had been taking. Now to get the same relief I take the main ingredient in that and add two over the counter acetaminophen.

Also I take other drugs that can damage my liver. At one time I had to do labs every two months. Now that things are under control I am down to every six months.

The last time I tried to get my prescription for pain medication filled I was told that the insurance company did not agree with the dosage. I had to get the doctor to submit paperwork to get the dosage approved. They do this every six months of so. I have been on the same dosage for almost five years.

Yesterday I got a notice that I am now required to use the pharmacy that the insurance company has chosen to get one of my medications from.

There is a chance that this may not be possible because of the nature of the drug and the location of the pharmacy. If this is the case I will have to stop taking it.

This I will probably not upset me too much. Just don't mess with my pain medication!

In the past I have had conversations with my doctor and had to promise that I would not take the whole bottle at once.

I do understand pain. I hope that you can find a way to manage yours.

I just wanted to give you a big hug, Chris. I wish you the best of luck with your doctor and your stress levels and your quest for reliable pain management.

I'm actually really surprised that no one has raised flags about the meds I'm on - multiple, multiple docs writing them (not for the same med, but orthopedic surgeon early last year, primary doc, and 2 different neuros with one PA (for my permanent neuro) thrown in there too). But not too many pain pills, thank goodness. That may change...I need to talk to my neuro/PA about the amount of OTC pain meds (including 800 mg Ibuprofin that my PCP prescribed) I've been taking lately. I try to switch between Ibuprofin and Acetomenophen so I balance the risk of ulcers and liver damage. What a trade off! There's one that I have to jump through a little hoop for, in that they cannot prescribe refills on it. It has to be a new prescription each time. Luckily, she wrote it for 2x/day and I started out only taking it 1x/day on work days (it's an anti-fatigue drug) but now I am taking it 2x/day for workdays and 1x/day on weekends. Hopefully not using it as much as I could doesn't raise red flags too. Gosh, I hadn't thought of that before.

I understand why there are preventive measures in place for certain drugs, but seriously...people who need them shouldn't have to be paranoid or feel treated like criminals or jump through hoops to be able to get what they need. If they are under the care of good doctors, if they are willing to undergo whatever tests are necessary to prove they use the drugs the "right" way, I just don't understand why it's such a hardship. Then you see those with money like Anna Nichole and Michael Jackson who can and do get anything they want in amounts and combinations that even a layman knows is dangerous without any scrutiny until they are dead.