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my dearest Lin

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
My beloved Lin (Gremlin) was born in my house 2 days after my 8th birthday back in 1989. She came into my life as a birthday present from God. when she was young, she used to be an indoor kitty, sleeping on my bed, we watched tv together, etc. but my mom, my sister, and my 3 brothers are asthmatic and VERY allergic to cat's fur and so my family decided that she has to be kept outside. strictly.

i grew up with her. but lately before her death i had to go back to college in Kuala Lumpur. she was sick. and no one dared to come near her except my father. and i was not there for her when she needed me the most. she had stopped eating for a week. and no one really noticed that she was really sick. until it was too late, my father noticed that she's been missing. they searched an called for her, and finally found her walking back home, a few step and a rest. and then a few more step and the she rested again. my father kept her in a nice cozy cage, afraid that she might die elsewhere. coz in our culture, we believed that if a cat is dying, they will go far far away from their owner coz they don't want to cause their owner grief. they do not wish for their owner to see their sufferings. my sister called and told me about Lin the night before her death and i flew home the first available flight to Kuching the next morning.

i found her very, very sick and she died that day, in my arms. i can never forgive myself for her loss.

Lin: 8.12.1989-7.6.2003
post #2 of 5

I'm sorry for your loss..... please dont' blame yourself.....

You loved her.... I'm sure she knew that....
post #3 of 5

Lin was coming home because she knew it was time for her to go. She wanted to be with the ones she loved and cared for and it was her desire to do this. I have been witness to this type of offering (so to speak) with cats that I have known, and I have heard others tell of stories of their cat returning for the final moment.

I believe you need to forgive yourself first, for my belief is she holds you no ill will. While you were in her life, you brought her nothing but joy, and I am sure that final goodbye you gave her before you left for Kuala Lumper helped to sustain her throughout her days. Your love to her is a testament that shines in the telling because you dropped everything and flew to her side to hold her in that final moment. What a wonderful cat Lin must have been to prompt such a gesture of love from her owner.
post #4 of 5
i'm so sorry for your lose
post #5 of 5
Oh Gremlin, I'm so sorry about Lin!!! It is so apparent how much you loved Lin, there is no way she didn't both know and appreciate this. It is clear you ache inside for not being there for her, but she lived a very long and full life, and she was clearly greatly loved. I am certain she knew this, and I expect she is with you now. If you are able to find that quiet still place in your heart, I am sure she will be there, reassuring you that she loves you too.

I agree completely with hissy. Little Lin was coming home because she wanted to be with those she loved, and you did everything you could to be there with her as soon as you knew. No one could do more.

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