Brandy's last update  

I don't want to put this in the rainbow bridge forum..... not yet. She's still with us, for one more week and on Sunday July 12, we will help her across the bridge.

For those who don't know:

This was Brandy last year at 9yrs old



diagnosed with an inoperable tumor on her nose. I was told 3-6mos.



June:



Me and Brandy July 2008



Nov. 2008



Dec 08/Jan 09 Brandy and my daughter Kendra



Feb 2008



April 2009



my baby made it longer than the predicted 3-6mos. We had followup xrays done to see where the tumor was going. Info here: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...ghlight=brandy

In May I got scared because it started growing rapidly. Thread here: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...ghlight=brandy (some of the same pics as in this thread )

By the end of May, beginning of June, the tumor started wrapping around the front, under her nose.



We started antiinflammatories for pain, they didn't seem to change her behaviour any, so we went to painkillers..... again, they don't seem to change her behaviour. She has problems eating a hard treat, but she'll do it anyways. She didn't act sick at all. She doesn't whine, whimper, limp, anything...... What she does do is sneeze, snort, and try to rub her nose on the ground.

The nose rubbing has increased over the last 2wks. I can understand why though.





She's yawning in the next pic



Our vet said one of the following would happen: The tumor would go into her eye, the tumor would split the skin, or the erosion in her mouth would cause her to stop eating and alot of pain when she does try to eat.

As you can see in the pics, the skin under her nose is starting to split. The really sh!tty thing is, she's still acting fairly normal... She still does normal Brandy stuff, and she eats wet food, and if it weren't for this damned tumor she would be FINE.

Someone, something, sure is testing me these last couple of months...I hope I've proved myself.

I'm doing right by Brandy....she will not suffer horribly. I guessed I am blessed in that I am able to end it before the horrible pain starts.... but I don't feel blessed, more like cursed at having to end her life early BUT I know it is the right thing to do.

anyways, I'm using this thread to prepare....to post random posts on her, her silliness, her life, or just cry because I know her days are numbered.

Thanks for reading.

Thank you all.


Indeed it is.... My animals never cease to amaze me.

Thank you all.

Brandy has been with me for 7 out of 10yrs of her life. Prior to that she was with my mom... prior to that, she was a pound puppy.

Brandys story starts off with: My mom and I went to the pound when I was about 22 and we both got puppies. I was getting one because I was a single mom, my mom was getting one because my brothers and sisters wanted one. I brought home Misty2, a german shepard mix....mom brought home Brandy. This was 1999

Misty was a wonderful dog.... hugely full of energy, lacking in obedience, over excitable. I tried to train her the best I could, then I became pregnant (unplanned) a few months later. I tried to keep her, continuing to train her, but once I had my second daughter, unfortunately I had to give Misty2 to another home. I felt horrible, because I adopted her, now was throwing her away too. She belonged on a farm, somewhere she could run....she didn't have that with me. Misty2 belongs to a friend of the family who owns a large property where she can run. Last I heard, she was doing well (a few yrs back).

In 2002 I moved to a townhouse with a full fenced yard, small one but fully fenced.

Brandy did not have a very good life at my moms. She was gotten for the wrong reason...(because the kids, my siblings, wanted a dog). They took care of her for the first 6-12mos, then their interest dropped. Both my parents worked, so it was my siblings responsibility to take care of Brandy. They were very lazy, and Brandy would end up spending 18hrs in a cage, or left outside chained up all day with noone checking on water. She was fed a cheap food as my mom couldn't afford much better. She was taken to the vet for her normal shots, then rabies, and a couple other issues. She was slightly underweight, infested with fleas (which she is allergic too) and had soooo many sores on her body from biting at the fleas... what fur she had was sqraggly and thin.

I offered to adopt Brandy from them, as noone spent time with her. Keeping her in a cage was not fair to her at all. My mom agreed, she knew she had made a mistake in getting Brandy, and in 2002 Brandy came to live with me
At this time, with a 6yr old and 2yr old, I was able to care for her.



Brandy has lead a healthy happy life.... I very much wish she never got diagnosed with this tumor. But I am so thankful it waiting till she was older before it showed up.

As much of a curse as it is, knowing that she will not have to suffer through not being able to eat, or having the tumor press against her eye and causing her excrutiating pain.... I am able to help her cross the bridge before she suffers tremendously.

My 13yr old looked up at me this morning and said "I just want her to be happy Mom, I don't want her to hurt".

We have a desicion to make. Whether she is euthanised on Sat. or Sun. We are quite blessed in having someone who is able to come to us to help her cross.

We will take her to my in-laws farm on either Sat. or Sunday, where she will go peacefully, without pain, to run free across the bridge. My children will be able to put flowers, or whatever they want, where she will be buried. *small blessings*

I'm comforted in knowing that she will not have to be taken to the vet's office. She is so scared of the vet.... she goes, but shakes so much, and her last 2 visits, the vet has hurt her (by examining the tumor) so she's even more scared. Her crossing, will be with people she knows, she will be surrounded with love and NOT in a cold, surgicial type room.

Honestly, I really don't care if people read this.... I'm doing the writing for myself more than anything. I want this thread to be of Brandy's life...

I will post and ask it to be closed after Brandy passes.

For those that do read, I will be posting some silly stories, and just random thoughts about Brandy, her life, etc.

Exactly.

It is both a blessing and a curse. Logical brain says: It's a blessing that she won't have to deal with horrible pain. Emotional brain says: It's a curse because I know her day of death

I "think" it would be easier if she appeared sick..... but I don't want her suffering either......

Blah that about sums it up.

You do know me well.

If it weren't for my husband, I would do exactly what you said. He's my sounding board, my rational mind when i have none. I've asked him repeatedly, what he would do, is this right, etc. etc. He's always said "it's your decision" about taking her to the vet, or whatever.

His mom had a dog, Shadow. She had cancer.... she had a couple tumors removed, but it all eventually came back...(they weren't visible). She was so sick by the time they had her euthanised.... she had sores all over her, could hardly walk, arthritis really bad, loss of weight, etc. Looking back, I think my MIL regrets waiting so long to have her PTS but her hubby is the same as mine, let her make the decision and guided her the best he could. But, Shadow is how I don't want Brandy to be..... it was quite obvious she was in pain.

I know I need to get the what-if's out of my head, and look at the rational side of it.

I did talk to my vet yesterday when I took Kizzy in... I explained to him about it splitting open under her nose, and the smell (there's a smell, at first I thought it was her breath and mentioned it to hubby....it's not her breath) and even he said it's time.

With both my husband and vet saying its time, I trust them.

i do know that it is the right thing to do... I know it with my head. My daughters know it.

Small blessings as of late:

Brandy is reinforcing that this is the right thing to do

Her mood seems to have improved over the last couple days, for that I am thankful. She's occassionally sneezing blood (not a good thing) which reinforces the decision.

Today I am of rational mind, so I know this is the right thing to do. Unfortunately when of an emotional mind, the story is different.

My greatest concern is that of my oldest daughter. I'm not saying my youngest won't have problems, but my oldest is a sensitive sort. My youngest will cry her eyes out, the day Brandy moves to a better place, and then she'll be ok. My oldest, she knows this is right, and even in telling her that the decision has been made, she's trying to hold back... she wants to be brave.

I don't know if it will help or hinder, but I am going to let her read and post to this thread, if she wishes.