I just need to get a few things off my chest. I have been thinking a lot lately about what I really want to do with my life. I am going in my 3rd year of college and am majoring in Print Journalism with a minor in animal science. But I am now finding that I love ancient culture like ancient greece, egypt and messopotamia. Like I love the art and everything about them. I would love to become an archeologists because I love the outdoors and I want to actually hold these things in my hands not see them through plexiglass at your local museum. But becoming an archeologist is a long shot, and there may be no money in it, but i really dont care about that. I would have to switch schools some how becuase my school isnt really specialized in it.
My job. Well i have been working at this bowling alley since i was 16, which is 4 years this august and I am still getting crappy hours. I have worked there longer than about 80% of the staff. I mainly do b-day parties but there are no guaranteed hours and in summer there are no hours. So when a co-worker was going on maternity leave I asked for some of her hours and to start working in the snack bar. The food and beverage manager told me okay he would. Its been 2 months and I have only gotten about 3-4 times in the snack bar. I have asked about it and nothing. Now I get scheduled 6 hours this week.....on the 4th of July
from 6-12:30am I dont mind that part but 6 hours?? I really cant live off of that, last weekend I got 4 hours. I want to ove out of my parents becuase I just cant live here anymore its not a good place to be..... and i cant move out with no money. Sooo I am looking for another job, but having a few difficulties. My dad told me in my current jobs meeting tomorrow to speak up and say why havent i gotten anymore hours when I have been here longer. But I am not that type opf person to say that in front of everyone. I will in private, but not with all employees there. All my friends dont have jobs, there parents pay for everything, and its frustrating because I want to live a life to you know? I have worked my whole teenagehood lol that sounds funny. But I need to work. I guess I am jealous of my friends in a way?
Right now im sitting in my room because my 21 year old brother has a girl out in the family room watching a movie....i dont know who she is and my parents are going to flip. A few things about my brother.... He hasnt had a job in well over a year....he wont even look for one. He got a DUI, he wasnt 21 yet so they took his license away even though he was under the legal limit. SOO during school he had to ride his bike, well he hardly went to class all he did was get drunk every night with his friends who dont go to school or have jobs....couchpotatoes.....he in the past got introuble with the law....bad stuff with these "friends" like they were on a elementary school campus at night walking around with a crow bar
hmm sounds criminal? Well my parents bailed him out etc...he got a misdemenor(sp?) and a lot of community service...which he did like a month before it was due....anywho he has cost my parents A LOT of money and patience like him and my dad would get into physical fights when my brother wouldnt respect him or my mom. My brother harrases me 24/7. He mentally, physically and empotionally abuses me. There are days I want to take a baseball bat to him. (this is why I need to move out like pronto) I am partly scared he will do something to me and my parents when we are asleep.... I feel like I do everything good, like I do all the housework, I have a job, I ride horses and do extra caricular (sp?) stuff, i got good grades 4 Bs and 2 As
, I try and pay for other things (i pay everything for my horses), I just plain do everything i think is good i guess lol and my brotehr is the opposite but i feel like i am being punished half the time. Because my mom wont admit to the fact that my brother needs to be kicked out and has something wrong with him. WHen he comes into my room and harrases me, I yell at him to get out, my mom just wants to pretend this doesnt happen and ignore it all and in a way makes me feel like it was my fault he chose to harass me.
I have lately begun to feel that in order to get what you want or even deserve you have to walk all over people, be assertive and do sly things. Becasue I work my a** off at work and home and I get the short end of the stick every time. I feel like I am a nice person and when you ask me to do something I do it at 110% but get nothing in return. I feel like why bother trying to be nice to people, work hard?
Sorry i just need some advice or anything. Im just stuck in this rut and feeling a little down right now.
Oh and on top of it all. Today I had a lesson on both horses. I dont own Scotch but I am riding and jumping him (and i am the only one who rides him) and well I have only had him for 2-3 months. This lady who I have heard many horror stories about her when she was riding Scotch years ago when he was a baby. SHe used to beat the snot out of poor Scotch, like one time she walked him too close to a jumping standard and he hit his foot on the metal part, she began smacking him with the crop, it was her fault! She also i guess used to smack him in teh face when he was tied up....she was abusive to him and he is "the way he is" because of her. Well out of all the days she decided to bless us with her presence today. I dont know her but i dont like her for the fact that she beats her horses. She came out i guess to see our trainer? I dunno but it was random. So besides her we had a few other random people come out, so i had an audience. One of the other riders told me i was probably going to do bad becuase that lady was here.....she jinxed me! Today we jumped bigger like most of them were like 3'3'' or 3'6'' and well I fell off. He slammed on the brakes at the last second and I flew over the jump. I was infururated because we had been doing good up until my trainer decided to have us jump bigger in front of all these people and then I got blammed for the fact of falling off. I wanted soo badly to show this lady that Scotch is amazing and kind of throw it all in her face because of what she did to him, but it didnt really work
My job. Well i have been working at this bowling alley since i was 16, which is 4 years this august and I am still getting crappy hours. I have worked there longer than about 80% of the staff. I mainly do b-day parties but there are no guaranteed hours and in summer there are no hours. So when a co-worker was going on maternity leave I asked for some of her hours and to start working in the snack bar. The food and beverage manager told me okay he would. Its been 2 months and I have only gotten about 3-4 times in the snack bar. I have asked about it and nothing. Now I get scheduled 6 hours this week.....on the 4th of July
Right now im sitting in my room because my 21 year old brother has a girl out in the family room watching a movie....i dont know who she is and my parents are going to flip. A few things about my brother.... He hasnt had a job in well over a year....he wont even look for one. He got a DUI, he wasnt 21 yet so they took his license away even though he was under the legal limit. SOO during school he had to ride his bike, well he hardly went to class all he did was get drunk every night with his friends who dont go to school or have jobs....couchpotatoes.....he in the past got introuble with the law....bad stuff with these "friends" like they were on a elementary school campus at night walking around with a crow bar
I have lately begun to feel that in order to get what you want or even deserve you have to walk all over people, be assertive and do sly things. Becasue I work my a** off at work and home and I get the short end of the stick every time. I feel like I am a nice person and when you ask me to do something I do it at 110% but get nothing in return. I feel like why bother trying to be nice to people, work hard?
Sorry i just need some advice or anything. Im just stuck in this rut and feeling a little down right now.
Oh and on top of it all. Today I had a lesson on both horses. I dont own Scotch but I am riding and jumping him (and i am the only one who rides him) and well I have only had him for 2-3 months. This lady who I have heard many horror stories about her when she was riding Scotch years ago when he was a baby. SHe used to beat the snot out of poor Scotch, like one time she walked him too close to a jumping standard and he hit his foot on the metal part, she began smacking him with the crop, it was her fault! She also i guess used to smack him in teh face when he was tied up....she was abusive to him and he is "the way he is" because of her. Well out of all the days she decided to bless us with her presence today. I dont know her but i dont like her for the fact that she beats her horses. She came out i guess to see our trainer? I dunno but it was random. So besides her we had a few other random people come out, so i had an audience. One of the other riders told me i was probably going to do bad becuase that lady was here.....she jinxed me! Today we jumped bigger like most of them were like 3'3'' or 3'6'' and well I fell off. He slammed on the brakes at the last second and I flew over the jump. I was infururated because we had been doing good up until my trainer decided to have us jump bigger in front of all these people and then I got blammed for the fact of falling off. I wanted soo badly to show this lady that Scotch is amazing and kind of throw it all in her face because of what she did to him, but it didnt really work