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A little rant...

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
I just need to get a few things off my chest. I have been thinking a lot lately about what I really want to do with my life. I am going in my 3rd year of college and am majoring in Print Journalism with a minor in animal science. But I am now finding that I love ancient culture like ancient greece, egypt and messopotamia. Like I love the art and everything about them. I would love to become an archeologists because I love the outdoors and I want to actually hold these things in my hands not see them through plexiglass at your local museum. But becoming an archeologist is a long shot, and there may be no money in it, but i really dont care about that. I would have to switch schools some how becuase my school isnt really specialized in it.

My job. Well i have been working at this bowling alley since i was 16, which is 4 years this august and I am still getting crappy hours. I have worked there longer than about 80% of the staff. I mainly do b-day parties but there are no guaranteed hours and in summer there are no hours. So when a co-worker was going on maternity leave I asked for some of her hours and to start working in the snack bar. The food and beverage manager told me okay he would. Its been 2 months and I have only gotten about 3-4 times in the snack bar. I have asked about it and nothing. Now I get scheduled 6 hours this week.....on the 4th of July from 6-12:30am I dont mind that part but 6 hours?? I really cant live off of that, last weekend I got 4 hours. I want to ove out of my parents becuase I just cant live here anymore its not a good place to be..... and i cant move out with no money. Sooo I am looking for another job, but having a few difficulties. My dad told me in my current jobs meeting tomorrow to speak up and say why havent i gotten anymore hours when I have been here longer. But I am not that type opf person to say that in front of everyone. I will in private, but not with all employees there. All my friends dont have jobs, there parents pay for everything, and its frustrating because I want to live a life to you know? I have worked my whole teenagehood lol that sounds funny. But I need to work. I guess I am jealous of my friends in a way?

Right now im sitting in my room because my 21 year old brother has a girl out in the family room watching a movie....i dont know who she is and my parents are going to flip. A few things about my brother.... He hasnt had a job in well over a year....he wont even look for one. He got a DUI, he wasnt 21 yet so they took his license away even though he was under the legal limit. SOO during school he had to ride his bike, well he hardly went to class all he did was get drunk every night with his friends who dont go to school or have jobs....couchpotatoes.....he in the past got introuble with the law....bad stuff with these "friends" like they were on a elementary school campus at night walking around with a crow bar hmm sounds criminal? Well my parents bailed him out etc...he got a misdemenor(sp?) and a lot of community service...which he did like a month before it was due....anywho he has cost my parents A LOT of money and patience like him and my dad would get into physical fights when my brother wouldnt respect him or my mom. My brother harrases me 24/7. He mentally, physically and empotionally abuses me. There are days I want to take a baseball bat to him. (this is why I need to move out like pronto) I am partly scared he will do something to me and my parents when we are asleep.... I feel like I do everything good, like I do all the housework, I have a job, I ride horses and do extra caricular (sp?) stuff, i got good grades 4 Bs and 2 As, I try and pay for other things (i pay everything for my horses), I just plain do everything i think is good i guess lol and my brotehr is the opposite but i feel like i am being punished half the time. Because my mom wont admit to the fact that my brother needs to be kicked out and has something wrong with him. WHen he comes into my room and harrases me, I yell at him to get out, my mom just wants to pretend this doesnt happen and ignore it all and in a way makes me feel like it was my fault he chose to harass me.

I have lately begun to feel that in order to get what you want or even deserve you have to walk all over people, be assertive and do sly things. Becasue I work my a** off at work and home and I get the short end of the stick every time. I feel like I am a nice person and when you ask me to do something I do it at 110% but get nothing in return. I feel like why bother trying to be nice to people, work hard?

Sorry i just need some advice or anything. Im just stuck in this rut and feeling a little down right now.

Oh and on top of it all. Today I had a lesson on both horses. I dont own Scotch but I am riding and jumping him (and i am the only one who rides him) and well I have only had him for 2-3 months. This lady who I have heard many horror stories about her when she was riding Scotch years ago when he was a baby. SHe used to beat the snot out of poor Scotch, like one time she walked him too close to a jumping standard and he hit his foot on the metal part, she began smacking him with the crop, it was her fault! She also i guess used to smack him in teh face when he was tied up....she was abusive to him and he is "the way he is" because of her. Well out of all the days she decided to bless us with her presence today. I dont know her but i dont like her for the fact that she beats her horses. She came out i guess to see our trainer? I dunno but it was random. So besides her we had a few other random people come out, so i had an audience. One of the other riders told me i was probably going to do bad becuase that lady was here.....she jinxed me! Today we jumped bigger like most of them were like 3'3'' or 3'6'' and well I fell off. He slammed on the brakes at the last second and I flew over the jump. I was infururated because we had been doing good up until my trainer decided to have us jump bigger in front of all these people and then I got blammed for the fact of falling off. I wanted soo badly to show this lady that Scotch is amazing and kind of throw it all in her face because of what she did to him, but it didnt really work
post #2 of 14
I don't have much advice, but I wanted to suggest the possibility of a double major. I double majored in Anthropology and Social Work and I do not regret it. There are opportunities in Anthropology- but you will need graduate school- and it probably won't be easy finding work in that field. It is possible though! Archeological Resources Management is one interesting field. I would recommend visiting a campus with a decent anthro program and speaking with a professor. You may also be interested in classical studies. Good luck to you! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate.
post #3 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by JuneBugBear07 View Post
I want to ove out of my parents becuase I just cant live here anymore its not a good place to be..... and i cant move out with no money. Sooo I am looking for another job, but having a few difficulties. My dad told me in my current jobs meeting tomorrow to speak up and say why havent i gotten anymore hours when I have been here longer. But I am not that type opf person to say that in front of everyone. I will in private, but not with all employees there. All my friends dont have jobs, there parents pay for everything, and its frustrating because I want to live a life to you know? I have worked my whole teenagehood lol that sounds funny. But I need to work. I guess I am jealous of my friends in a way?

...

I have lately begun to feel that in order to get what you want or even deserve you have to walk all over people, be assertive and do sly things. Becasue I work my a** off at work and home and I get the short end of the stick every time. I feel like I am a nice person and when you ask me to do something I do it at 110% but get nothing in return. I feel like why bother trying to be nice to people, work hard?

Sorry i just need some advice or anything. Im just stuck in this rut and feeling a little down right now.
I told you before, and I'll tell you again... because I was in a situation much like you are... be proud of having worked hard instead of having everything handed to you. One of the lovely things about this country is that we can better our lives through hard work. I grew up quite poor. Once I graduated high school, I was on my own financially. I worked my butt off, and now I can afford to eat out, buy myself nice things, take vacations. I recently bought a new car. But I worked for those things. I deserve them because I earned them, and it's so much more satisfying to be able to say that than to say somebody just gave them to me.

I'm sorry if you feel like you're waiting to live. I agree with your father that you should be assertive and speak up. Being assertive is not a negative thing like walking all over people or being sly.

If you want something, you need to ask for it. More often than not, if you don't speak up, you'll be overlooked. Don't confuse being assertive with being aggressive. People will respect you for being assertive. If your bosses don't want to give you more hours, and it's important to you to have more hours then look for another job. Your time is valuable. You need to treat your time as if it's valuable. No amount of money can ever buy it back.

Your employers won't value you if you don't value yourself. You feel you deserve more hours, let them know.

I worked at tutoring center, hiring tutors. One of the interview questions was to ask them how much they were expecting to make. We were supposed to offer $1 more than what they asked. Usually, people didn't ask for the maximum pay rate though they may certainly have deserved it. The biggest difference between those making $13/hour and those making $18/hour is that the $18/hour people asked for what they wanted.
post #4 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thank you! This is going to sound kind of dumb but for the major in something archelogical, i would major in anthropology? I havent been able to talk to a counselor(sp?) because school is out for the summer, so i dont know of what i would even major in to get the degree for something to do with archeology or similar.
post #5 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Going Nova View Post
I told you before, and I'll tell you again... because I was in a situation much like you are... be proud of having worked hard instead of having everything handed to you. One of the lovely things about this country is that we can better our lives through hard work. I grew up quite poor. Once I graduated high school, I was on my own financially. I worked my butt off, and now I can afford to eat out, buy myself nice things, take vacations. I recently bought a new car. But I worked for those things. I deserve them because I earned them, and it's so much more satisfying to be able to say that than to say somebody just gave them to me.

I'm sorry if you feel like you're waiting to live. I agree with your father that you should be assertive and speak up. Being assertive is not a negative thing like walking all over people or being sly.

If you want something, you need to ask for it. More often than not, if you don't speak up, you'll be overlooked. Don't confuse being assertive with being aggressive. People will respect you for being assertive. If your bosses don't want to give you more hours, and it's important to you to have more hours then look for another job. Your time is valuable. You need to treat your time as if it's valuable. No amount of money can ever buy it back.

Your employers won't value you if you don't value yourself. You feel you deserve more hours, let them know.

I worked at tutoring center, hiring tutors. One of the interview questions was to ask them how much they were expecting to make. We were supposed to offer $1 more than what they asked. Usually, people didn't ask for the maximum pay rate though they may certainly have deserved it. The biggest difference between those making $13/hour and those making $18/hour is that the $18/hour people asked for what they wanted.
Thank you for reminding me! I get so lost sometimes where I let people dictate who I am. I get made fun of a lot at work for liking cats and horses and when I was going to take one to a cat show (i had to work) and among other things. So from now on, until i get a new job. I am no longer letting them joke around about me (my bosses do this) and I am going to tell them like it is....well kind of lol. Tomorrow im going to try and muster up some courage and tell them what I feel. It does feel good to know that I paid for things out of my own pocket unlike my friends. Its kind of why I dont let them borrow stuff because I paid for it, and they dont see it as so and so when they ruin, break or lose something of mine, they dont see how i feel because I bought it. Im having a hard time "being myself" around people because I feel like people dont understand me.
post #6 of 14
I think it's sad that butt kissing can get people farther than hard work, and that people who are "dorky" in the eyes of others get discriminated against. I have been treated the same way as you are now, as far as getting hours or good shifts at a job. Your bosses shouldn't tease and make fun of you. If they do that, then they obviously don't really respect you. I think you should start looking for another job instead of working for those jerks who mock you because you like cats and horses. That's just dumb. And the way that your brother and your parents treat you isn't so great, either. Good luck getting out of your house.

As far as your major, double majoring wouldn't be a bad idea. What's stopping you from double majoring in journalism and archaeology? You are going to have to go to grad school to get a good job in archaeology, so you could work in the journalism field, for a newspaper or something, until you got your graduate degree!!! Even though school is out, they probably have advisers available because the advisers have to see the incoming Freshmen before the semester starts. Give the school a call and see if you could get in to see an academic adviser for some help with changing your major or adding one on. Good luck sweetie.
post #7 of 14
Yes- you would major in Anthropology and do an emphasis in some aspect of anthro- ie cultural anth, archaeology, osteology, osteo-archaeology, paleolithics, arch. resources management, public anthropology, human growth and development, forensic- you name it. Generally most undergrad programs have you emphasize either cultural (possibly public), linguistics, archaeology, or bio-anth. You get exposure to these major fields in anth. and decide which one sounds the most interesting for grad school.

Classical studies is another interesting field with probably even fewer job openings- you can study classic Greek culture for instance.

There is nothing wrong with going to a smaller or public school for an anthropology education. I went to Ball State University in Indiana. Grad schools tend to matter a little more and some of the big names should probably be avoided.

The American Anthropological Association:

http://www.aaanet.org/

http://www.aaanet.org/resources/

http://www.aaanet.org/resources/students/

The American Classical League:

http://www.aclclassics.org/

http://www.aclclassics.org/pub_classassoc.html
post #8 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thanks zorana_dragonky! Its really sad because the assistant manager has known my dad for years through bowling. Ive gotten to the point where i just dont talk to them unless it is something important. UGGHHH and my dad....well last night he went down to the bowling alley to have a few drinks and watch some of his bowling buddies since my dad had shoulder surgery and cant bowl. I told him about my issue, thinking he will keep it to himself. What does he do?? He talks to the assistant manager!! I told him not to, im 20 years old it looks really really bad if my dad talks to my boss! Her excuse as to why im not getting scheduled in the snack bar is....because there is soo much gossip in there that they dont want me in there, Seriously I dont get involved in the gossip, i mean its just pointless! So im going to talk to her after the meeting today, and if i dont get more hours i am starting to apply for a new job tonight, ehh i might apply either way lol

Thank you esrgirl!!! I looked in my schools catalog and they offer a bachelors degree in Anthro, adn I can take some archeological courses, like they have 2 different types of archeological field work, one that deals with public sites and the other isnt. Im not quite sure which I should take becuase you can only take one or the other. I also looked into the classical studies, i think I can have a minor in that, but then I read there is a "special major" in classical studies? it sounds interesting though!! And supposedly having that in your studies or w/e could help get into a grad school. So i have a lot to think about, but I am actually excited now! I didnt think my shcool would offer any kind of archeological courses because we are a agriculture/animal science school. Im going to either call the school or just head down there and see if I can talk to someone, i have to talk to an advisor anyways because I have reached my 60 units and I have to talk about my major, so its kind of like getting two things done at once!

I just wanted to say thank you to you all, I get in these depression moods sometimes and its good to have someone snap me out of it! Usually my Pooh Bear takes care of this, shes sort of my motherly cat
post #9 of 14
I agree with the others about speaking up to voice your opinion. If you aren't valued at your current job and not getting enough houses I would look for another job-someplace that will appreciate you.

I think you need you need at family meeting about your brother. It seems to me that he needs some professional help.
post #10 of 14
I am so sorry My boyfriend is in the same situation with his siblings- he's doing everything right, gets good grades and pays for everything he owns but his siblings are spoiled, get everything even though his brother is barely passing high school..Sometimes there is very little you can do except for maybe talk to your parents. In their eyes, you're doing so well that you don't need as much as help as your brother who they've probably given up disciplining and are just trying to help him in the wrong way...I hope it gets better, just talk to them..you may have tried that already but at least when you tell them how you feel, because if you don't they will probably deny it your whole life.
post #11 of 14
i know where your coming from to ever since i started work my my took money off me as "board" to help to contribute to liveing in the house, and i paid for all my own clothes my phone car etc, then i lost my job and my mam totaled up every week i didnt pay her and then made me pay it back once i started a new job, it was only £20 a week but i was out of work for just over a year so it mounted up pretty damn quick and i didnt really see any of my new job wages, and now i have moved out ive noticed my brothers dont do anything in the house let alone pay to live there whereas i had to help out otherwise i was grounded and couldnt go out. now one of my brothers is at uni and has said he will not look for a job while he is there and is relying on his student loans and my other bro works full time and sometimes buys his own clothes and thats what i get off my mam everytime the subject is brought up.

infact in more bitter than what i thought i was

i hope you get your situation sorted at work, i dont think its fair that if you have been there that long that they wont offer you some more hours especially if your offering

post #12 of 14
I just wanted to give some to all the other folks who have dealt with difficult parents and troubles as a youth. I think it is really sad when parents treat their children unfairly, giving blatant favoritism to one or several of the children. I sincerely hope that I don't do that when I have kids.
post #13 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorana_dragonky View Post
I just wanted to give some to all the other folks who have dealt with difficult parents and troubles as a youth. I think it is really sad when parents treat their children unfairly, giving blatant favoritism to one or several of the children. I sincerely hope that I don't do that when I have kids.
sadly that is why im not sure i want kids.....well we will see in the future. All i know is i will be harder on my kids, they ever get in trouble like with the law (well before 18) they will go straight to boot camp. it sounds harsh but i wont put up with another one of my brothers. I too want to give everyone and thank you all for your support, it really helps! My parents are trying to get my brother to sign up for the National guard because he may get kicked out of school for getting too many Fs. But I know he wont do it!

You know what I love. lol Is when I ask for more hours, I get hurt and have a eye doctor appointment on the day that I am scheduled.

aj--- I know at times i am really bitter too. My dad wants me to pay for more things other than just my horse, although I cant afford to, but of course my brother cant pay for anything cause he doesnt have a job, oh and he has a $4000 visa bill.....And whenever he gets any money, he spends it on beer.... And my family, like my aunts, uncles and grandparents think my bro is the perfect person, they dont either want to believe what he is or they just dont see it. But my grandpa has asked me "how is your brother?" when i go to see tehm and I say "I dont know I dont talk to him" and tehn he yells at me like its my fault, I told him if you were harrased all the time would you really care how that person was doing??? NO. It is relieveing that you guys see where I am coming from, I feel so alone, even when I tell my friends they dont understand.
post #14 of 14
You sound pretty bright and I`m sure you will be a success in whatever field you "land" in. I`d finish the last year and get that degree so you are that much more employable...even if it may not be your life`s ambition anymore.You will have more leverage with a 4 yr B.S./B.A. under your belt.Even if you never work in "your" field. I also HIGHLY advise anyone to follow their dream and their passion,money be damned! Here I am the Ghost of Christmas Past -- I chose not to follow my true passion and have always regretted it.Finish your upper division then dive into your classical studies. You have excellent taste,btw,a fellow history head here. A co-worker and friend of mine goes to Gottland Island off the Swedish coast every Summer to work in an ongoing archeological dig.How`s that? Free room and board but he works gratis...and LOVES it!
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