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I'm feeling overwhelmed:(

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Hello everybody:

Most of you know how i love taking care of kitties and finding homes for them all, but there is something that is too much for me to handle right now, I just don't know what to do and I'm feeling so overwhelmed I can't even breath...

This has nothing to do with my own kitties or with the Mommy cat and the 4 babies that I rescued, they are an absolute delight and I feel in heaven taking care of them. I love it.

I rescued a siamese kitten named Jack like a month ago and I found a wonderful home for him, but he had 3 more siblings and they all are inside an old car near my home. I've been trying to get them with no luck. Well, they came out like three days ago and I was able to get them and I brought them home. Then I got sick with the flu and they started screaming at night and my other kittes were so upset that they didn't want to eat. Lucas has Lupus, so he can't be under a lot of stress, and my Mom asked me to release them and I did, I didn't have a choice. I was too sick to deal with all that.

So, now I'm trying to get them again, I've been feeding them inside a carrier everyday. but they are soo wild! They are like 3 months old and I want to help them, but I know how hard it will be to tame them and then find good homes for them and I have to say I feel like I don't have the strenght. I will help them, but I'm just feeling overwhelmed right now and I needed to vent.

Thanks for listening.

Tamar
post #2 of 11
Aw Tamar, the hardest part of this is realizing when you have to step back. No one person can save them all. It's like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon, it just keeps filling up. If the last three were stressing Lucas then you know that you have all you can take for now without compromising his quality of life.
Maybe you could Just sterilize and release this bunch when you catch them? Without having to go through pregnancy and heat continually or expending all their energy looking for a female (in the case of the males) you will still have drastically improved the quality and span of their lives.
My doors have been shut to new cats since Spitfire in October. If I didn't draw the line, it would always be just one more and one more and eventually my cats and I would be in the same shape as those in the SOS thread. You've always been one of my heros, and even if you never took in another you've done more good than a lot of people ever do. ~Jennie
If I knew how to send you a gift icon to cheer you up I would, but I'll have to settle for these.
post #3 of 11
Thread Starter 
Yes, that is what my Mom keeps telling me, that i have to relize that i can't save them all and it is true. The problem is I've fed them already trying to catch them and I feel so bad about leave them go hungry, I'm weak, I can't stand that.

I feel that since I have already fed them I should help thses last three. The problem is the mother needs to be spayed, or she will continue bringing me her babies, but I don't know what to do, the last stray that i had spayed ended up staying here, I guess because she didn't have anything else to do. And I can't have anymore cats here. And no one is going to want her, she is an older cat that is also feral.

I will see what i can do about this. I will have to drwa a line too because it is too much for me. I take care of all of them myself because I don't want to bother my Mom, she has a lot of work to do.

Thanks you for your words

HUGs, Tamar
post #4 of 11
aww, sweetie - you've already done so much - it's like the story about the starfish on the beach - you can't possibly save all of them, but your good heart has already saved the one you could (more than one). I know your heart is breaking over these other three - I wish I had a magic wand to solve everything for you.

Your mom raised a wonderful daughter. I hope you get your strength back soon, and find other people who can help you with this work of love you're doing.
post #5 of 11
Whatever you do, dont risk to burn out yourselv. You are in danger of it now.
You must draw limits even if you must let some go. You have really no choice.

I understand you want to help them all, including these 3 young siamese-type.
But as now, you cant, unless someone appears and helps you and them. (Write up about them on message boards in your town??)

They are born outside, semiferales. They have their own fate. It will not get worse because you cant help them effectively.


A mothers holy first duty is to protect her own children. Here it is yourself and the kitties you do already have.

Do not have bad conscience. Be happy about these you already did saved.


Good luck!
post #6 of 11
Please feel free to vent all you need. We're here for you.

The reality of rescuing is that it can take an emotional toll and sometimes you just need to take a break. When it comes to helping others - be it people or animals - you're no good to anyone else if you're feeling overwhelmed and not taking care of yourself.

As others have said, there's a need to "draw the line." It's incredibly hard to do when there are cats in need, but I've learned from experience and the example of others (on TCS and in the local rescue community), it's what you have to do in order to stay focussed and not get burned out. I've seen too many people get in over their heads because they don't set limits. It sounds like you've recognized your limits and you deserve tons of credit for that.
post #7 of 11
Awww hon, I know this is hard on you. Please know that you are doing the best you can. Everyone else has said it already. you can't save them all. I know for my ferals, I feed them in the barn, and before long others show up. I'm working with a TNR group, and I get them fixed at a low cost vet. Then they are released back to the barn. So far, any new ones have stopped coming around. I think my last feral Tom, told them that if they stay and eat the food, they tend to lose body parts. Help the ones you have, and the others will be ok..

Mary
post #8 of 11
Thread Starter 
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your words, they mean a lot to me and they make me feel a lot better. Thank you so much!

I think the worst part of this is that nobody helps me, my Mom does help a little, but no one else. In fact they just think I'm wasting time and money helping the kitties, nobody really cares but me. I wish i had help or someone who felt like me here, but I don't. I guess I will just try and help the ones I have left and then I will focus on taking care of my own kitties, I really can't do more I wish I could.

All we have here in town is a shelter that will kill the kittens if they are wild and if the cat looks old, they will kill it too, so there's no help there. I know there are some people who love cats and do things to help them, I just don't know any, I think I should try and looks for some organization that can help.


Once again, Thank you all


tamar
post #9 of 11


Laurie
post #10 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momto4kitties View Post

All we have here in town is a shelter that will kill the kittens if they are wild and if the cat looks old, they will kill it too, so there's no help there. I know there are some people who love cats and do things to help them, I just don't know any, I think I should try and looks for some organization that can help.
Hmmm, Maybe if you can't find an organization that will help you could found a TNR? If you could convince every vet in town to do just one free sterialization a week or even a month, depending on how many vets there are, that would help. Somehow I think it would be difficult for even the stingiest vet to say no to you.

Even if you aren't able to rehome them all if they were surviving where they were while intact it would be easier for them to survive there vaccinated and not constantly drained by pregnancy and nursing.
post #11 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momto4kitties View Post
I know there are some people who love cats and do things to help them, I just don't know any, I think I should try and looks for some organization that can help.

Couldnt you write up an add on the citys messageboards? To start a group of people interested in helping homeless cats??

If you dont want to go openly out with your name at the first moment, do use an anonymous mail-adress ( anascocatsavers@yahoo.com ) and cell-phone number (prepaid dialing card). Do write up a name - your middle name perhaps.
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