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What do you look for in a friendship?

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
What do you ladies look for in a friendship? Do you have certain expectations? Do you look for someone who has similar interests or do you like someone completely opposite of you?
Please do tell..
post #2 of 9
I look for warmth and humor and kindness. I have a small number of friends and I know they would go to the mat for me if they had to as I would for them. Since joining the Internet, that circle has broadened a bit and there are a few people on this board and on others that I would consider my friends, even though we haven't met in real life. They know who they are and how much I appreciate them.

On a professional level, I also have friends and again, I look for a certain amount of compassion within them before I consider myself lucky to call them friends.
post #3 of 9
I think it helps that the other person is somewhat similar to you, in that they have similar ethics, a similar outlook on life and similar goals (in that they have goals to work for). But, I would not want to befriends with someone who is exactly like me. I don't like myself sometimes, so it would be hard to like my double all the time Some of my closest friendships have come out of long acquaintances, in which we got to know each other over time and built shared experiences.

Oh, and my friends have to at least like animals!
post #4 of 9
Hmm, that's a good question!

I guess the best kind of friend is someone who has enough of the same interests as you for there to be common ground, and also some different ones, so that you can mutually learn and grow from one another!

They have to have a good sense of humor, and should love cats!

My closest friends are those I've had since high school, one of them since 7th grade.
post #5 of 9
My closest friends are the ones that accept me for who I am without anything else having to be added. We have similar personalities even if our interests are completely different. This post is making me think, and I've just realized that my friends, without knowing each other more than briefly, all have the same laid back attitude. We like to joke around and always drip with sarcasm but would always be there for one another, even if the other person did something HORRIBLE. We have the same humor, the same level of understanding. Ever tell a joke and someone just doesn't get it? well that happens to me ALL the time--except with these people. Ever say something like "hey you remember that one time we went to that one place?" and the person remembers it instantly without having to describe it at all? Ever call someone in the middle of the night because you and your boyfriend broke up, you lost your job, you realized you didn't have enough money for rent, or any other circumstance, and your friend gets out of bed and drives over in 15 minutes, makes you something to drink, and spends the night cheering u up--even tho they have to be at work at 6 am?

So i guess my requirements are people who are angels . I've had a lot of friendships in the past where people used me or didn't respect me, but I always thought that I should stick in there because they are my "friends".. Well thru the years I learned what REAL friendship is. I have a lot of aquaintances, but few friends, and if anyone calls me picky I'll admit I am. The people I have for friends are as different as night and day in their lifestyles and interests. And I'm completely different than any of them. But that's what makes it interesting. Plus we're the same on the things that matter..
post #6 of 9
Despite a 15-year age difference, Katey and I have similar interests and experiences. We both keep lots of pets and have jerk ex-husbands. Our senses of humor run in the same direction and we can tell one another anything and it won't go any farther. Over the years, we've laughed and cried over a lot of stuff. Sometimes, just a word or a look can set us off because we each know what the other one is thinking.
post #7 of 9
A good friend should be able to keep a secret, won't lie (even to spare your feelings), willing to go that extra mile, willing to take the bad with the good, and love animals.
post #8 of 9
I guess I look for a "kindred spirit" like Anne of Green Gables used to say. My best friends have a good sense of humor, are loyal, can laugh at themselves and are intelligent. They don't have to like exactly the same things I do. It's really hard to explain. You know when you meet someone and within 15 minutes are sharing really deep things and you feel that connection. Those people become your friends and they are your friends for the rest of your life.

I met my best friend, Paula, at a Halloween Party when we were 13 years old. We clicked so well that after all this time she is still my best buddy. We finish each other sentences. She is my #1 kindred spirit.

I make friends for life. Many of my friends have been my friends from birth (family friends) or since I was 5 years old. You add to those circle of friends from time to time and they become forever friends.
post #9 of 9
Hmmm...that's a hard question for me. I don't have specific things that I look for in a friend. I just feel a certain vibe from that person. Strange, I know. It's funny...usually my first instincts are completely wrong when I meet someone. For instance my best friend Amy...when I met her I could not stand the girl! I was in my college Show Choir and we were doing auditions for the next year. Here bops in Amy and from the first glance I didn't like her. She flirted with the guys and she acted too highschoolish...and she just rubbed me the wrong way. When it came down to voting for the next crew, I voted against her. Luckily, summer break hit and I completely forgot all about her. The first day of college, we hit it off. We instantly became friends and have been ever since. What I thought was flirting with the guys was just her being nervous and her childlike behavior was her way of trying to be accepted. She's nothing like I thought she was at first. Funny thing about it, she didn't like me either! She said I was snobby and unfriendly. Guess I proved her wrong just like she did me!

Then of course there are the stories where I met up with people & I thought they were the coolest people I'd ever met. Later I found out that they were shallow and weren't really the people I thought they were. Unfortunately those are the ones that hurt me the most and they were the ones I trusted the most. Funny how it works out that way...
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