new cat jealous of old cat- progressively

Hello,

I'm a new member and have this problem that is really frustating me.

It's long and complicated- but feel the details are essential.

Rainbow is a 20 year old frail cat I inherited 5-6 years ago-she loves me and is kinda quiet and passive.

2 years ago a 8-12 month semi ferral started coming around I named him Boyfriend. Rainbow and Boyfiend were friends. Rainbow HATES other cats coming around, but let this one eat her food, and they were friendly. Rainbow's boyfriend.

It took me a year (long long story and lots of patience and help from the SPCA) but Boyfriend is now tame since August 08 (overnight practically- couldn't touch him now he sleeps with me every night)

Progressively over the last 6 months Boyfriend is soooo jealous of Rainbow. I don't understand it. She welcomed him into the home, taught him that I was nice. Now he pounces on her whenever she tries to come upstairs from the basement. I yell at him when I catch him, but Rainbow is now terrified to come upstairs.

One night recently I put Rainbow in bed with me and boyfriend (she's too frail to jump on the bed)- the next morning Boyfriend peed on the floor!

I'm trying to get them both to hang out in my office when I'm playing on the computer- they don't like it

I hope this makes sense

Rainbow let this kitty into our home, teached him to become tame and that I'm cool , and now boyfirend get's pissed anytime I show Rainbow any affection.

Wierd thing- he respects her food (I feed them in seperate bowls and Rainbow eats slowly throughout the day- he gobbles his in 10 seconds- leaves her food alone)- there is some respect there somwhere in his kitty brain


Thanks folks! I welcome any ferral kitty taming questions, but this guy is a miracle I think!

Boyfriend sounds like a playful, dominant cat. It's a normal behavior. Rainbow is old and probably can't cope with Boyfriend's personality. I have a senior too and she was pretty bossy in her younger years but now she avoids the others when they get too playful for her taste.
By the way, Boyfriend's peeing may be a health issue so I'd schedule a check up at the vet.

Interesting question. I shall think about it!

I think as now, Boyfriend, getting braver and braver and now being a full time homecat, is trying to take over as the cat nr 1.

fight against it or go along??

Possibly the best is to go along. Following the usual procedure of protecting the low-ranked newcomer, but turned around here. Ie show him he is the highest. Cuddle with him first, only after him with Rainbow. (Cuddle of course much with Rainbow where he doesnt see it). Naming them, name Boyfriend first, Rainbow second. Giving food to him first...
And such.

Good he leaves her food alone... Cats arent consequent in their dominance things, so the show off can vary.
Besides, friendly adults often let kittens have some privilegies, even letting them eat their adult food. Perhaps this is some sort of variation of this.


This not fair to Rainbow? She knows herself her best days are over, and him taking over the top-place. She will be contended if she can have a decent place as number 2. After all, this is the fate of older senior citizens too...


Feliway diffuser should be useful here. Both for her - but also for him.


Good luck!